Come in… I invite you into my private thoughts… See what I see… Hear what I hear…. Right now, I am wondering what is my purpose in life? Sometimes I think that I was born to die… I close my eyes and imagine myself in the flames of hells fire… I will say it again… Born to die… Let me explain this a little… I will put this into terms that will make it seem simple… You see, Ive been cursed with a life that leads to death… So in this way, the devil has already taken my last breath… It is already written in the skies… Sometimes I see a vision of myself in a casket, and the very thought of this makes me wanna cry. I am constantly haunted by the possibility of a slow death, I have dreams, seeing people killing me… torturing me in horrible ways, sometimes I see them cutting off my head… In these fantasies I start to panic, my heart slows down as I am helplessly screaming Images appear and I am instantly thrown into the mind of a demon, I am tormented with dreams of a prophet… I have seen the future, and the devils promise… An unspeakable fate awaits us all, it orbits around us like a comet... Deep inside my soul is where these things are kept… I look inside myself and wonder about my past… Could it be that I once lived in heaven? Am I a former angel, exiled from paradise with an eternal sentence? I am living in hell, in the truest sense… A lost soul… Lost because I don’t know where I should go… Am I still supposed to serve God now? Or should I serve the devil… Im looking for answers, but I don’t know where to look People say that I should trust the good book… But I don’t trust the bible… its been translated so many times… My instinct tells me that it is filled with lies… From wicked men that held the world’s fate with a pen in his hand… They conceived a plan to fool the whole world with an evil scam… Don’t get me wrong, I do believe that God does exist… My problem is, I don’t know who he is… There are times when I get ideas in my head that I am a child of Satan… But at the same time, that’s when I hear a voice from the Lord calling me, patiently waiting… This is like a war… I try to run from it, but his call only lures me more… I been told that the worse thing that you can be in life is a lost soul…. Not knowing if there is a heaven or hell after this storm… Christians are quick to judge, and they are quick to tell… If you aint living for the Lord, then you are headed for hell… But what if we were all living our lives for Christ, Only to find out that when we die, it was all a lie? Do you think you know who God is? Well? How do you REALLY know? If you aint never seen his face, then you don’t really know for sure… Are you truly convicted in the life that you choose? Or do you just blindly believe what your preacher tells you? Could it be that we are all slaves? Are we blind fools? Programmed to believe lies ever since elementary school…. Believe me, I don’t want to live in this mindstate… The reality of my undecidness tortures me everyday… But I cannot live a lie… If I am destined to go to hell, I want to know why…. Dear God, whoever you are … Please send me an answer, it could be anything… It could be a sign across a sky… Anything that would tell me why I am living this life, and what I did to earn it… Please tell me why I deserve this.