Black Short Stories : Crossing The Imaginary Lines

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by Ireadastory, Aug 30, 2004.

  1. Ireadastory

    Ireadastory Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Jul 26, 2004
    Messages:
    279
    Likes Received:
    9
    Ratings:
    +9
    This is something I am working on let me know what you think. It is nowhere near finished. Still working with the title.

    Oh! My God! What happened last night? Was it a dream? It had to be a dream. He’s not gone, no he can’t be, I have got to call him…but wait he doesn’t want me anymore…it’s not a dream. Jay really doesn’t want me anymore. This was my first thought as I pulled my broken-hearted body along with my tear-streaked face out of bed. I made it to the bathroom but as I was washing my face this wave of nausea and tears flowed through me all at the same time. I was trying to be strong but I couldn’t my heart was breaking. What was I going to do now? Who was I going to call? He was my best friend, my leaning post. My leaning post, who no longer leaned for me. How did we get here? We were supposed to make it, us, the ones who hated each other in the beginning, the ones who crossed the boundaries of friendship for love, us, who finished each others sentences and who wasn’t afraid to share love with one another but yet here I was barely standing from the emotional pain. What happened last night? I was trying to remember how it all came to this gut-wrenching pain I was now feeling.

    I was waiting for him to pick me up I had just finished my last class of the day. It did not surprise me that he was a little late, like myself, he never got in a hurry either, but today he was extra late and to be totally honest, I didn’t think he was coming. We had been arguing on and off over stupid stuff mainly because of me and my insecurities but I didn’t think it was anything that we couldn’t handle because after all we were Jay and Renée and our love could get us through anything, at least that was my belief. Jay pulled up about ten minutes later. I noticed when I got into the car that he had one of “our” songs playing. So I asked, “Are you trying to tell me something?” “No, I just felt like hearing it”. Was his reply. That may have been partially true but Jay was unusually quiet. We didn’t go home or go get something to eat as we would have normally done we went to a near by park instead to talk. Even though it is only the next day I cannot for the life of me remember how the conversation got started it may have been something like this: “You know lately we have been doing nothing but arguing and I… blah, blah, blah, blah, blah and this is just not working anymore”. That’s it! That’s what I remember Jay said, “this is not working anymore”. I don’t know where they came from maybe out of the very pit of shock or the very pit of pain or maybe both but they came-tears. Tears for what I thought was forever, tears for a friendship that was now broken by heartache and tears for a love that was no more. As much as it hurt this indescribable pain I looked at Jay and said “I understand”. I really did understand. “That’s all I needed to know is that you understand”. He said. As the sea of emotions he had been concealing suddenly lost it’s grip. So there we sat in his car, in the park and in an embrace. Arm to arm, cheek to cheek and tear to tear.
     
  2. sarcasm4eva

    sarcasm4eva Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Apr 19, 2003
    Messages:
    593
    Likes Received:
    17
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +17
    [email protected], thats messed up. you know u gotta tell us what made them cross those lines. tyte story, waitin for more. much love :)
     
  3. DA BROTHER LOVE

    DA BROTHER LOVE Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2004
    Messages:
    137
    Likes Received:
    15
    Ratings:
    +15
    this one was deep... that was interesting how you mentioned how he was trying to tell you something through the song. i thought i was the only one who did that.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    very deep heavy story here u really know how to create a gem
     
  5. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 30, 2003
    Messages:
    5,322
    Likes Received:
    38
    Location:
    ~The hidden library...~
    Ratings:
    +39
    ...oh my
    this was heartwrenching and the way you described how distraught she was in the beginning was so real, it was as if I were dragging myself out of bed with nausea. The pain conveyed was so real it was almost surreal. This was some awesome writing; emotion provoking.

    I moving on to the next part...it's too good to stop

    Intriguing read,
    Sage
     
Loading...