Black People : CRITICIZING BLACK FOLKS - WITH LOVE...

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Isaiah, Apr 26, 2005.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Greetings African Family...

    Question for all who contribute their thoughts to this board:

    Why do African people react so strongly to being criticised? Is this a feature of who we are as a culture, or as a psychologically-damaged group??? Is our self-esteem as a group, and as individuals, tied into how we deal with someone criticizing us... Is our lack of trust of one another's motives tied into our oft virulent response to criticism???

    I have brought this question up before(so has Destee), and think it important that we deal with this question honestly if we intend to grow as a people... It is nice that we receive love and compliments, and hear sweet nothings in our ears, but in life, like in sports, the victory is sweet and fleeting, the loss, stinging and long-lasting... From one we learn some things about our character, and how we handle adversity... From the other we feel high for second before reality checks in again... Which is better??? Which will help you to deal with being criticized? Which is our fantasy, and which is our reality??? Why, African People, why are we so sensitive to criticism??? Any ideas???

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is a very good question. I think that black people are so used to be studied, analyized, and put down....that many can no longer tell the difference between constructive & destructive criticism. I agree that we do need to be able to take criticism, because depending on the source, much of it is done out of love!
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    I don't think it's a much a matter of criticism as it is who's doing it and where. A black person who doesn't see themselves through white supremacist lenses that criticizes his community among other blacks wouldn't get the same treatment as a white person doing it, or someone like Bill Cosby, who puts his criticism out in the open for all the whites to see. Oh, everything we say about blacks must be true because look, even a black person is saying it!
     
  4. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    it's not what you say but the way that you say it.
     
  5. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James, esteemed elder, I don't know, you've leveled some honest criticism at certain folk on this board, and they went to pieces(smile!) Remember a Mr. Blak, who went at it with you even though you did nothing but kick the truth to him...

    How we say a thing is, indeed, important, but the SUBSTANCE of what we say is often lost before it can be absorbed because we are so defensive about anything that does not praise us, and make us "feel good." Feelin' Good is a drug... Once you get that get high, you become addicted to it(smile!)

    KarmaShines, can't disagree with you, and we really went at it at Destee's over the Bill Cosby issue... Whew, Lawd, we went to the wall on that subject... Funny thing about it is that I felt as strongly against Cosby as everyone else did initially... But later on, I had to admit that some of his statements were actually statements I've made to friends and family myself...and friends and family have made those same statements to me in private, as well... Must be some truth in what the guy is saying, but his mistake was in saying what he said PUBLICLY....

    Hmmm...seems to me that we should not give a **** what the rest of the world thinks of us, or how we conduct bidness... Seems to me that far more embarrassing acts are committed by our young athletes and entertainers, and not a word of criticism for them... I don't know, that's why I'm asking the question, peops... Continue to help me to understand this phenomenon... I'm learning just as we all are...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  6. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    James, esteemed elder, I don't know, you've leveled some honest criticism at certain folk on this board, and they went to pieces(smile!) Remember a Mr. Blak, who went at it with you even though you did nothing but kick the truth to him...

    How we say a thing is, indeed, important, but the SUBSTANCE of what we say is often lost before it can be absorbed because we are so defensive about anything that does not praise us, and make us "feel good." Feelin' Good is a drug... Once you get that get high, you become addicted to it(smile!)

    KarmaShines, can't disagree with you, and we really went at it at Destee's over the Bill Cosby issue... Whew, Lawd, we went to the wall on that subject... Funny thing about it is that I felt as strongly against Cosby as everyone else did initially... But later on, I had to admit that some of his statements were actually statements I've made to friends and family myself...and friends and family have made those same statements to me in private, as well... Must be some truth in what the guy is saying, but his mistake was in saying what he said PUBLICLY....

    Hmmm...seems to me that we should not give a **** what the rest of the world thinks of us, or how we conduct bidness... Seems to me that far more embarrassing acts are committed by our young athletes and entertainers, and not a word of criticism for them... I don't know, that's why I'm asking the question, peops... Continue to help me to understand this phenomenon... I'm learning just as we all are...

    KarmaShines and James, again, I am wondering if it is a Self-Esteem thing, as PanAfrica has suggested???

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  7. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    i would say that your ability to take criticism is a measure of how strong you are.

    when people have been beaten and abused at every turn you can not expect them to respond too well to what looks to them like another beating.
    a true leader has to find a way to reach people who are at a low level and raise them up.

    it's a tough issue.
     
  8. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You will be held account every word you utter.

    Be careful what you say.
     
  9. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, James, those last two paragraphs said a lot to me - perhaps because I agree with your assessment, myself... Hopefully, we can get folk to use this thread therapeutically, to look at themselves more CRITICALLY??? Because, hey, that's all it is about, taking another look at oneself... Respect, brother, and much love!

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  10. river

    river Watch Her Flow MEMBER

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    Sensitivity to criticism is a natural by-product of racism or any sort of ism where one is cast into a (perceived to be) socially inferior group.

    When a black person does something he doesn't just do it but the whole entire race is seen as potential perpetrators or that crime. Of course when we do something good we become exceptions--credits to our race.

    That's why many black people don't see criticisms as coming at them as human beings with human faults just like the rest of humanity but as representatives of a subhuman race which they mst either defend or try to escape.

    I'm the king of the swingers
    The jungle V.I.P.
    I've reached the top
    And had to stop
    And that's what's bothering me

    From Walt Disney
     
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