Poetry Critiques : Criticize

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by 1poetsought, Mar 19, 2005.

  1. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Cmon family, drop your fresh poetry here and comment on what poems you like. Bro. Khasm, and Bro. 1poestsought, will see that you get the props that you sooooooooooo deserve. :picture:
     
  2. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well alright now :read: with two brotha poets extraodinaire holdin da door open how can folk jes pass it by :)

    :cool: two pros for da price of one! lol

    doesnt get any better then that :)
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    drop your poetry and take some time to critique...
    that's one way to get better as a family....:grouphug:

    one love
    khasm
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    as we share good wealth and honest word
    so that as poet's we all get better and reach
    our next level poeticly
     
  5. 1poetsought

    1poetsought Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Our Patriarch BRO. RICH is in the house that HE built.

    GIVE IT UP, YA'LL!!!!!!!!!!



    :jump:
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    thankz 1poet .........happy and honored to be within the zone
     
  7. Orisons

    Orisons Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your wish is my command.

    PROGRAMMED


    From conception to the day we’re born, constant growth/learning;
    Even in our infant years masses of information, discipline, tears.
    Which is all very necessary to instil an orderly view of life in you,
    Parameters, a safe domain, beyond which lies restraining/real pain.

    Adopting parental values with no real clue as to their being false/true,
    Automatically soaking up input without any vaguely critical bias or view;
    Analytical quality assessment, unnecessary to our very simplistic review
    Of doctrines well meaning/malicious, innocuous or totally BRUTAL/VICIOUS.

    Instinctively we climb, discarding our innocent? Happy nursery rhymes,
    Insatiable in our searching for more, and more reliable data to use/store.
    Our natural progression deviously hijacked by the Mass- Media’s obsession,
    Always guiding/deciding our direction or reaction to every socio-economic action.

    CONTROLLING how we grow, so subtly maintaining our Elitist status quo;
    Those very sinister shadows whose motives/identities we don’t even know.
    Constantly they’ll engage in sophisticated/manipulative manoeuvres/games,
    Our insane reality’s focused BARBARITY disguised by token gestures of charity.

    Ask a man of any technical SCIENCE at all you’ll see, they will all agree
    That one plus one will never ever make three, making it harder to perceive
    So many’s sincere belief in our SYSTEM’S inequalities ever being eased;
    Or somehow dreamily evolving into a Socio-Culturally fair-minded resolve.

    Don’t confuse constructive criticism with pure malice and racial hate;
    Analytical Controllers are brutally enhancing repression by the State.
    But I’ve been totally indoctrinated, programmed how to think, like you;
    I’m attempting to escape mine, with a conscious effort you can try too.


    Anyone who genuinely believes they are not programmed is graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE! [HASTY my alter ego]!
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    indeed the concept and structure was tyte
    this poem was hitting right ...nice vibe u scribe
    well done .........................................................
     
  9. Orisons

    Orisons Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank You, Brother.

    In my infamous as opposed to famous poetry collection entitled "FRUSTRATIONS vented by HASTY ORISONS there is a poem entitled “Programmed” which highlights just how dependent every member of the human family is on their family, community and country for giving/programming them with the language, culture and ideology with which to perceive reality.

    The final verse reads

    Don’t confuse constructive criticism with pure malice and racial hate;
    Analytical Controllers are brutally enhancing repression by the State.
    But I’ve been totally indoctrinated, programmed how to think, like you.
    I’m attempting to escape mine, with a conscious effort you can try too.

    Whilst discussing this poem at a poetry workshop various people attempted to project and promote their belief sincere that they weren’t programmed, but couldn’t reply when I said “Anyone who genuinely believes they are not programmed is graphically illustrating that their programming is complete”.

    Anyone who genuinely believes they are not programmed is graphically illustrating that their programming is COMPLETE! [HASTY my alter ego]!​
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    well known facts state within itself that we all are programed to an degree

    again well stated piece on reality
     
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