Black Women : Could you open your home to this!!!

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by nevar, Jun 13, 2009.

  1. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay if your like me you have some baby daddy issues. Well I use to I learn to get along even if we stabbed each other a couple of times. No I kid, I kid, but here is the serious question. Say your current love in your life hasn't in a long time had a relationship with his child. And given this day in time come and ask you if his baby mama could move in until she get's on her feet. Now I'm like okay the child needs a place to stay but the conniving mother can sleep under a bridge for all I care. I haven't been put in this situation yet but I just wanted to get different input on this. Now I really don't get along with my ex baby mama and she got one more time to put her big forehead in my business. I don't remember consulting her when I made love to her man. I know it sounds a wee bit childish but why do the current love in your ex life feel we want their sorry @ss! Given the relationship I have with my baby daddies I don't think so, and if my man ask me I would have to say HELL TO THE NAW! MY MAMA AIN'T RAISE NO DANG FOOL BOO-BOO!:SuN042::SuN042::SuN042::10500::whip:
     
  2. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    Honestly, I don't have baby daddy issues any longer. I've grown, and have changed myself so much that he is neither inclined to dis-respect me, or to think we will be trying to spark any old flames. By the look in his eyes from time to time I can see he thinks about it, but doesn't have the balls to even come at me like that. Gotta grow up sometime. I don't venture into his personal life or offer any opinions, unless asked about currents girlfriends and relationships. In reality, from time to time he asks.

    I would say that in the future the man that I will give my all to should he ask me for such a thing I would allow it. I say that because the trust and bond between us will be everything that I need it to be, so any dis-respect and blow to my trust will not happen.

    When you allow a man that has children in your life you also have to accept the things that come along with that, and that is to say that if there were no other options for the woman.
     
  3. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    well i appreciate your input, and like I stated before no way I could do it. Just like putting trouble where it don't need to be. I feel there are other ways with putting your relationship on the line!
     
  4. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    I think when you find the right man, the perfect man then the relationship is never put on the line...

    If there were no other options my heart would not allow me to see the mother of the man that I love homeless ..... and a real man when they have someone that loves them that much would never do anything to lose that... not for a quick minute with a past woman where the relationship didn't work...

    those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it...

    i demand that level of trust, and will wait and wait and wait until he shows up......

    playing child games like cheating isn't an option for me or testing a mans love....

    either it's love or it's not....

    why hold on to a man that you can't trust...

    and before anyone pops up with.. a mans gonna be a man... let me say no a boy that thinks with his u know what is a boy that thinks with his u know what....

    a real man appreciates and protects what he has....

    i already know that i can't live with doubts... so i won't doubt my mans loyalty to me and manifest that in my life....

    i know where ur coming from tho also...

    but i'm in it for the spiritual bond and not the physical..... and so i will have just that....
     
  5. nevar

    nevar Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i feel ya, I feel ya on that. ya know I watch a lot of snapped i know this getting off the subject and all. but I watch on oxygen channel a show called snapped. a man married his high school sweethart had kids the whole nine. kids growed up left the nest. mother feeling lonely invited her home to a much younger girl. next thing her husband had an affair with the girl kicked her out, and now her husband dead. even the strongest men fall prey. superman had a weakness and so does the one you trust the most. but anyway just had to throw in where I got this question from. her story just open my eyes to see you would be furious if you found out your mate of so many years cheated. and all of a sudden you snapped, and your know standing before a judge. i know me i would probably snapped get mad, and I don't know. when you snap your not yourself it's like your sound mind is gone, and your wild. and once you become cooled you couldn't believe what you just done. now I ain't no Jasmine Sullivan bust your windows out your car, but I did scratch up his darn car, and for the grand finale threw some chairs at it. once i realized what I done I got the heck out of there I didn't want to be caught! I'm sorry just rambling Miss lady..........
     
  6. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister nevar
    Please do not open up your home to this. :court:

    Your personal things will get misplaced ( stolen ) , broken and your heart in the long run will also.

    Your man in his desire to take care of his child. Should do that with child support. Motel 6 can't cost that much. His ex's family can take up any slack.

    Please don't move trouble into your house. :whip:

    Your heart is in the right place. Your desire to assist isn't wrong. Just never get into letting someone that isn't family into your home. It will take about three days ( before the drama surfaces ) then everything starts smelling like bad fish.
     
  7. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    nah your nat rambling... no doubt

    this really is real talk...

    in this particular situation tho the woman's motivation was her own lonliness, perhaps a better choice would have been to express her lonliness to her husband and not by anger or the guess how i'm feelin tactic we like to use but with a lil creativity... candlelight, a planned out meet me here rendevous, she could have joined a book club, a pottery class, could have volunteered in a daycare, but she brought a stranger into her home, men get bored also with repetition and we all react differently... i'm more apted to just walk away... mostly i embrace alone as opposed to lonliness as opportunity to re-learn myself... forever is along time so to me part of the art of togetherness is daily renewing... not in as much as people renew their vows after so many years but making someone always remember why they fell in love with you day after day, which is no task when u still love that person

    funny cause my moms always use to say just find someone with money and then let the love come, and i said nah i'd rather find someone i love build with them wake up everyday to the beauty of seeing them again and really want to get up cook, iron, make lunch.. perhaps go to work if we need two incomes to maintain, and heat it up at night when we get done out in the world... she always said i c thing with rose colored glasses but i truly beleive that someone has a his half to that set of glasses...

    now i'm rambling but i gotta tell ya...

    my x picks up my son all the time and yesterday after this post ... and we always talk... they came by to get my son's football and he said so what u doin u look tierd.. said nah was prayin/meditatin... told him i take time out everyday just to appreciate everything includin myself and just calm myself... he asked what i was doin latah... said proly will just read a book... i didn't realize that he meant "what u doin latah?"

    anyway he called and was like did u mean we could get together.. i could pick u up at eleven...

    man i paused... talk about a weakness :lol: (me) ... there was a time when if he said jump i'd say how high... he is still very attractive to me ... but i thought about this post.. for real... he said he didnt want to get together if it would ruin our friendship... again.. i thought of this post...

    i had to pass... could've had fun but just thinkin that if i truly want my man with the matchin set of rose colored glasses then being alone right now is the best i can do for me... my x finds me attractive again because i have grown to respect myself so much... and it's funny but he wanted to hook up and keep the friendship... i wanna hook up and get married..

    so really thank you for this.... it was like it came right at the perfect time for me and kind of tested me

    i just have to beleive that my future holds the man of my dreams... i beleive in love... un tarnished love... and although the flesh gets weak the power of thought and the reality of consequences all comes before any act..

    ya know sis...

    love ya!
     
  8. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    so even the econmic time and holding on to material possessions should supercede the the faith and trust that two in love should share?

    not everyone can afford a hotel... the rate of homelessness is vicious right now and even most of the shelters are full and have waiting list....

    when does doing the right thing and helping someone in trouble take a back seat?

    If your heart tells you to help then shouldn't you help?

    In the bible it Jesus did say... when you are helping how do you know your not helping me?

    it was the parable on the mountain that i refer to... when all the "rich" people pass'd the man by...

    much love Br. Hodee
     
  9. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    It's a no-brainer for me.


    NO!

    Aint no other woman comin' up in my home. PERIOD.

    My man and I can help the mother secure a place a stay, a relative's house or a friend's and the child can stay with us until she gets back on her feet.

    But, SHE aint coming in my house.

    No way.

    Uh-unh.

    NOT HAP'NIN.

    END OF DISCUSSION.
     
  10. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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