Black Poetry : cookie monster

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Derrick Jay, Apr 23, 2002.

  1. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    tiptoed past an open door
    foot shuffling at its finest
    try not to make a sound
    the monster sleeps
    this is a test of determination
    traps are everywhere
    waiting to ensnare
    an unsuspecting agent
    grab the dog
    tie his mouth and put him out
    mutt!
    now then
    ease this chair against the counter
    easy! shhhh...easy!
    tipping back just to make sure
    the monster is still at rest
    okay
    time for plan completion
    up on the chair
    reaching for top shelf delight
    uh-oh
    forgot about the **** cat
    slipping
    ahhhhh!
    (crash)
    oh no
    hear growls eminating
    monster is awake!
    try to run
    try to explain
    this wasn't intentional
    the monster attacks!
    noooo!
    no more! no more!
    mommy i won't do it again!
    i was just...hungry
    led away by ankles
    body battered
    broken
    like so few cookies laying on the floor
     
  2. Rashad

    Rashad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I see my little one all up in this!!

    Thanks!! LoL!:D
     
  3. deepgrrl

    deepgrrl Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Great concept! When I began reading, I thought this would be a playful childhood retropsective about sneaking a cookie -- cute but trite. The sudden raging abuse at the end caught me offguard, much like the child must have been. It was a sadly believable scenario, and thus extremely effective. Left a powerful impression that's still working at me. Nice work Derrick.
     
  4. Rashad

    Rashad Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well ****...

    I had to read it again because the end caught me.
    I thought it was innocent but turned abusive!!
    ****! Tyte Scribe Poet!! Tyte Scribe!:eek:
     
  5. Heartbeat

    Heartbeat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Bravo!!! Well done
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    ya on top of da game my brutha well said poet! tyght !
     
  7. Derrick Jay

    Derrick Jay Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanx ya'll...working on dramatic turns, first its innocent, then...


    One,
    Derrick Jay
     
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