Constructive Critisicm

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Coach707, Mar 23, 2006.

  1. Coach707

    Coach707 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Working in the public school system has allowed me to see first hand how many of our black children dont know how to handle constructive critisicm. They tend to take it as a direct threat to their character, when in fact it is often times necessary in order to learn and build your chracter through their mistakes. I also know many adults that dont favor well with any kind of critisicm, and I think that it is because as children they may have not recieved it at all. As parents, should we or shold we not give our children constructive critisicm and back it up with positive reinforcement? My opinion is that a chid needs an equal balance of both as children and teens if they should become prodictive workers, husband/wife as well as productive parents.


    What are your opinions?
     
  2. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes, it is necessary to criticize, but constructively, as you noted. IMO,many Black children, unfortunately, are talked down to at home, let alone a world that sees their race in a negative light. As a result they build a defense, wherein the most basic advice can be felt as a strike to their ego. Parents also need to learn to balance, and praise the good in them every chance possible. Don't tell them: "You made your bed wrong!!", rather, "Your bed doesn't look too neat, this is the correct way to make your bed.":)
     
  3. karmashines

    karmashines Banned MEMBER

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    Exactly. There's a big, BIG difference between constructive criticism and just plain insulting someone.

    If children are placed in regular school, more likely than not they will be exposed to enough negative stimuli by other children, their teachers, etc. Jealousy, people wanting to look big by making others feel small, racism etc. are some factors that cause some to hurl insults rather than true constructive criticism. And this would put many on the defensive even when someone is telling them something out of love and geninue concern.
     
  4. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    constructive criticism...

    when i was a kid growing up in the[fifties-sixties]if i didn't do what mom said,i'd get chewed out[if not spanked]no explanation nessassary most of the time[i'm the parent you're the child]now back in the day that was the way it was,but today as a parent i chew my kids out when it's called for,but i talk to em afterwards to let em know why it was nessassary to go to that extreme and to let them know that i don't expect the same mistake again[just like my mom didn't]kids are smart and know when they mess up,the mistake we make as parents is that we come down too hard[i'm guilty of that]or we let it slide[which is worse]let the punishment fit the crime,but let em know that it's not the end of the world either.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think it's needed with balance and constructive, often kids get confused
    and take it the wrong way or but it also is how this critisicm is being placed
    upon the child, I too give it to my children but also express or explain the means
    of it , why and what they can expect in society .
     
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