Black Relationships : Conjugal Rights

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by dunwiddat, Sep 23, 2012.

  1. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I made this post on another website. Not sure how people here will respond...but it goes. If your husband/wife was in prison would you accept conjugal visits
    In Brazil the prison authorities have given all married inmates conjugal rights. I watched a video where a woman whose husband was serving time in prison came to visit her husband.. As she walked towards the cell you could see the excitement on her face....:heart: then the guard sent her in....then sometime later not very long the guard came knocking...time is up.:(

    I am not sure if I would do this, since Imma woman who love to take my time doing this kind of business and aint in no hurry...BUT seeing that this is the only opportunity for being together, I guess it is better than nothing. Perhaps I would only consider...IF I was sure my husband had a cell to himself and had not been involved in the perversion that goes on prison

    Your comments please.
     
  2. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Is he in prison for LIFE, because if he's not then we can wait. He's not away on vacation. Obviously a crime was committed and I would need to know what that crime was because it would determine if there's still a marriage/relationship left for us to work with. Prison isn't summer camp, it's a big deal from my point of view. I don't take sexual intimacy lightly. It would be easier for me to wait than to grab a "quickie" in a prison cell. If I choose to stay with him and it's difficult for him to wait, well, we would definitely discuss it but honestly, I'm not sure if I could be with him that way under those circumstances. The mandatory separation is painful enough.
     
  3. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your points are well taken.
     
  4. MimiBelle

    MimiBelle Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    1. Unless he were wrongly imprisoned, I'd never date a man in prison. Or the prison-bound I should say, i.e., Drug-dealers, gangmembers, etc...
    (Give it time.)
    Of course, no one is perfect. I simply don't want an individual who makes the sort of mistakes that force him to be caged away like an animal because he doesn't know how to conduct himself properly in society. I'll not hitch myself to that wagon because his behavior reflects on me...and I don't care to see my quality of life (or those of my children) diminished by his 'mistakes'. I don't want my children to be held back.
    So... this like a random hypothetical that could never happen.

    2. If he were a 'lifer', it wouldn't matter anyway because I wouldn't 'wait' for him.
    We can be pen-pals. I will write him faithfully. I'll visit, but I'm devoting my energies to someone who lives IN the world.
    Would I tell him? Probably not. I tend to believe that a man in such a situation needs something from the world to hold onto. I'd give him that.

    3. I'd not have sex with a man in prison because there's no way to ensure privacy.

    4. A man being victimized isn't likely to tell you that he's victimized...or sharing drug needles and whatnot.
    I've known a straight man who did a 5 year stint and rec'ved oral sex from the 'lady boys'.
    But he's rationalized it to where the acts 'didn't count' ...because they were performed on him...there was no anal sex ...and the man 'looked just like a pretty woman'. Understandably, some of them do...*laugh*
    But - you see how confusing things get when people are 'needy' for affection...or sexual release?

    Pretty sure that he doesn't tell this to the women that he dates...
    *shrug*

    I've never been to jail or prison or even seen the police station from the inside. Never worked corrections because I'd rather that my care not be compromised...and it's impossible for me to do that once you learn what some of these folks have done to get in prison. My hats off to those who do, but I've a friend or two who can attest to the goings on of these areas....
    So --
    I'd not have sex with a man in prison, period. I don't care if that's your husband. this is not to say that ALL men are engaging in homosexual acts. BUT --
    Every man in prison is 'high-risk', until a blood test confirms differently.
    By default.
    Hep C, herpes, HIV and all other sorts of 'social diseases' run rampant.
     
  5. NyneElementz

    NyneElementz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would first consider if there was an integrity issue going before I would consider intimacy in that situation. If there was a wrongful imprisonment or she was serious about rebuilding an honest life over a non-violent mistake, then there would be no integrity issue to consider, but her integrity needs to be evident and discern-able.

    Further, I would need to know if she has not been involved with what goes on in prison. When we made the vow to be one, that meant we belong to each other and to each other we are committed. That commitment has to be intact.

    Third, I would want the extra time for intimacy if the first two issues are resolved for the positive. The problem with prison guards, I suspect, is that they believe that all prisoners are convicts, and do not deserve rights. I would try to find who I need to speak to so that I can lobby for more time. But in the US, you can do that. It may not be as easy in Brazil.
     
  6. Moon Child

    Moon Child Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Unless inmates come into the prison WITH these diseases they are not necessarily running rampant through the prison system. They have to control the population and it's health, if they didn't then everyone would be at risk and or sick, not just the inmates, it also puts the C. officers at risk as well. But it is agreed that testing is vital when they come out of the system, for the women/men or general population.

    For me there is NO man for me whose been in prison or who even has the potential to go. No thank you.

    For those who choose too, God speed.
     
  7. Enejoh

    Enejoh Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Prison conditions are not the same the world over, but dont you see this trend as a ploy by the system to glamourise crime?
     
  8. Moon Child

    Moon Child Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow didn't look at it this way! Or it could also be that increasing the population etc??? Who knows but this was a good idea.
     
  9. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I hear you Moon Child:lol:
     
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