Poetry Critiques : Conform ?

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by Ireadastory, Feb 18, 2005.

  1. Ireadastory

    Ireadastory Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Conform?

    Absolutely not! Will not! Won’t! Can’t do!
    Conform to your ways too much at stake.
    Don’t want to up the ante I don’t want the cost raised.

    We have been penetrated against our will for far too long.
    So you think I am going to let you rape me to get a head or just to get along?
    Rape my mind, my intellect, my values and my beliefs,
    To run with the other Indians who are killing one another to become Chief.

    Absolutely not! Will not! Won’t! Can’t do!

    Why do I fight you? Good question indeed.
    You see you hit me once and I turned the other cheek,
    Then you hit me again and I had nothing else to turn.
    I fight you because my cheeks hurt.

    I fight you because I have inner strength; therefore I know I can.
    I fight you because my inner being is stronger than your outward ability.
    I fight you simply because my good outweighs your bad.

    Conform? Absolutely not! Will not! Won’t! Can’t do!

    I see the truth behind the lie and I won’t explain it not going to try.
    So much I see and understand; the light surely shines through,
    Still won’t conform for her, him or you.

    A title means absolutely nothing to me it’s what’s on the inside that is important you see.
    If garbage is there it will eventually flow through; maybe that’s the stench I smell on you.
    And you think I want that odor on me or in me just to be on the team?
    Despite, your understanding that is not my dream.


    Conform? Absolutely not! Will not! Won’t! Can’t do!
    There is truth on the inside that causes me to fight you.
     
  2. HODEE

    HODEE Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Great poem.
    I can relate to the facts.
    This poem kept on point.

    It's a great read for the struggle to change, not for the change it's self but to conform to another’s wishes and influence that are failing, unsound, superstitious, Illogical and vain. I wouldn’t change a thing.
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    wow..u really know how to make an entrance...this was a powerful piece that i totally agree with...the message that came across so loudly is that i'm going to be me regardless of what u think...that does take a lot of inner strength because most people really care what others think...also,this stanza really hit home with me...

    I fight you because I have inner strength; therefore I know I can.
    I fight you because my inner being is stronger than your outward ability.
    I fight you simply because my good outweighs your bad.


    the expanding chorus lines were also excellent in this piece...btw, don't pull any punches in your critiques...we are all fam and this is about growth...keep doing the do poet

    one love
    khasm
     
  4. Ireadastory

    Ireadastory Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank u Khasm and Hodee I appreciate all criticism. I am very bold and upfront you never have to guess me and so I appreciate when I don't have to guess someone else.
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    this piece was awesome strong and on point
    it get's the nod .....yes great work !
     
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