Black Relationships : COMPLIMENTING SISTERS CAN BE DIFFICULT...

Isaiah said:
Not because African Women arent' completely worthy of every compliment they get, but because some sisters project feelings of suspicion and unworthiness... They don't seem comfortable with being showered with compliments, as if they do not feel beautiful, sexy, and wonderful...

As a man, you feel you are fighting against her image of herself, and as a result, the whole process of getting aquainted becomes a chore, weighted down by negative vibrations... Even a simple and generic hello is something a brother has to THINK about before he actually does it... Hence, as sister Spicy Brown wants to know, that's why yawl be getting them stares, instead of some convo...

There's a simple solution to that problem, my sisters, and that is to simply let the brother know in some way, that you appreciate his compliments. As yawl are the uncrowned masters of non-verbal communication, that should not be difficult, but...(smile!)

Bottom line is that just as you all are not obligated to speak or smile at a brother when he greets you, so too, you are not necessarily entitled to those compliments we shower on ya... One day, some of you will have only the memories of days when you were told how fiiiiiiiiiine you were... Show a brother how much you appreciate his compliments today, and perhaps those tomorrows will not be filled with your tears...


Peace!
Isaiah

I am guilty of this

I was going to the store and this guy said hi, my mind was elsewhere and I just looked at him like who the fluck are you? I realized I was wrong and i told I'm sorry and said hello back!
I'm also that way sometimes about my weight.
The guy I'm seeing now always says he loves my shape!
He told me I was porportioned and shapely and I have the smallest prettiest feet and hands, oh and he loves my ***! I didn't know how to perceive it at first, going through other peoples insults and put downs about being above a size 7.
 
I welcome the smiles, even the long distance stares, compliments and the conversation from my brothers and I try to do it graciously. I know what the other sisters are saying too, about sometimes not wanting to risk a smile at a brother fearing that he may get the "wrong" idea and pursue matters farther than she wants them to go. It's happened to me before so I can relate. But that's why I believe it's best to learn how to communicate clearly as opposed to being rude or seem like an ice queen. When I don't want more than casual attention, I convey that with my voice, my eyes and my body. On the other hand, when I want to engage a brother more, every part of me communicates that as well. It's really fairly plain and simple when you remove all the game playing.

Thank you for this thread Brother Isaiah. Your perspective on life is a beautiful thing. Bless you brother!

Queenie :heart:
 
NNQueen said:
I welcome the smiles, even the long distance stares, compliments and the conversation from my brothers and I try to do it graciously. I know what the other sisters are saying too, about sometimes not wanting to risk a smile at a brother fearing that he may get the "wrong" idea and pursue matters farther than she wants them to go. It's happened to me before so I can relate. But that's why I believe it's best to learn how to communicate clearly as opposed to being rude or seem like an ice queen. When I don't want more than casual attention, I convey that with my voice, my eyes and my body. On the other hand, when I want to engage a brother more, every part of me communicates that as well. It's really fairly plain and simple when you remove all the game playing.

Thank you for this thread Brother Isaiah. Your perspective on life is a beautiful thing. Bless you brother!

Queenie :heart:

Thank you, Much, Sister Queenie!:bowdown: Just being my old weird self out loud, ya know(smile!)

And I do empathize with the sisters as per the unwanted come-ons and attention... Beleive it or not, we get that from some sisters, too!(smile!)

I remember in the days, I'd be doing laundry at the laundromat, and sisters are running the carts over my toes 5 times in 10 minutes as I read the paper.... Oops, so sorry!(smile!)

Even in Junior High School, I figured out that that little sister who came and snatched my knit cap off my head was not a violent psychopath, but a female who wanted my attention...(smile!) But unwanted attention is something we've all got to deal with humbly... The energy we give to those whom we don't like will be returned by those whom we do like... It is best, therefore, to be nice and kind, and find alternative ways to "tell" a person the convo is ovah... Move on...

Hear that Ms. SoDwn2Earth???(smile!) Oh, forgot, you don't wanna be bollered...



Peace!
Isaiah
 
Isaiah said:
Thank you, Much, Sister Queenie!:bowdown: Just being my old weird self out loud, ya know(smile!)

And I do empathize with the sisters as per the unwanted come-ons and attention... Beleive it or not, we get that from some sisters, too!(smile!)

I remember in the days, I'd be doing laundry at the laundromat, and sisters are running the carts over my toes 5 times in 10 minutes as I read the paper.... Oops, so sorry!(smile!)

Even in Junior High School, I figured out that that little sister who came and snatched my knit cap off my head was not a violent psychopath, but a female who wanted my attention...(smile!) But unwanted attention is something we've all got to deal with humbly... The energy we give to those whom we don't like will be returned by those whom we do like... It is best, therefore, to be nice and kind, and find alternative ways to "tell" a person the convo is ovah... Move on...

Hear that Ms. SoDwn2Earth???(smile!) Oh, forgot, you don't wanna be bollered...



Peace!
Isaiah


Brotha Ike I can definately relate to all of this

Especially this part:

I remember in the days, I'd be doing laundry at the laundromat, and sisters are running the carts over my toes 5 times in 10 as I read the paper...Oops, so sorry

LMFAO! :laugh:

Happens to me all the time, especially in the Supermarket!
 

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