Black Relationships : COMPLIMENTING SISTERS CAN BE DIFFICULT...

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Isaiah, Mar 8, 2006.

  1. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not because African Women arent' completely worthy of every compliment they get, but because some sisters project feelings of suspicion and unworthiness... They don't seem comfortable with being showered with compliments, as if they do not feel beautiful, sexy, and wonderful...

    As a man, you feel you are fighting against her image of herself, and as a result, the whole process of getting aquainted becomes a chore, weighted down by negative vibrations... Even a simple and generic hello is something a brother has to THINK about before he actually does it... Hence, as sister Spicy Brown wants to know, that's why yawl be getting them stares, instead of some convo...

    There's a simple solution to that problem, my sisters, and that is to simply let the brother know in some way, that you appreciate his compliments. As yawl are the uncrowned masters of non-verbal communication, that should not be difficult, but...(smile!)

    Bottom line is that just as you all are not obligated to speak or smile at a brother when he greets you, so too, you are not necessarily entitled to those compliments we shower on ya... One day, some of you will have only the memories of days when you were told how fiiiiiiiiiine you were... Show a brother how much you appreciate his compliments today, and perhaps those tomorrows will not be filled with your tears...


    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  2. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    I find myself agreeing with you alot these past few days, Brother. Let's hope this is a trend that continues.....


    PEACE
     
  3. oldiesman

    oldiesman Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    complimenting sisters...

    i've been saying for years that black women[most of em]can't take a compliment[sisters if a man says that you look nice and nothing more it's a compliment]there's a difference between the two[hey big legs,ilike them full lips girl]that's flirting[good morning,good afternoon]a greeting,and if a man tips his hat and speaks[old school]the highest compliment,ladies don't always be so quick to roll those eyes and start cussin because not all men want to bed you.
     
  4. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What's Up, brother, I hope so too...

    Fact is, we men have some common experiences with women, and the difference is made in how we handle those experiences... I guess that is determined by our personalities... I have, since my youth, been a guy who complimented women for the fun of it, so consequently, I didn't get too caught up in how they responded to what I was saying... I was, in a sense, just sharpening my skills, seeing what worked, and what did not work...

    But as I have gotten older, I find myself wanting to make what I say COUNT!(smile!) I don't have a lot of time to play around, man... I got stuff to do, and places to go, and if you wanna got there with me, you caint be indecisive... If you are, Isaiah's gone, and never to return... The google-eyes tomorrow wont help you, because I tend, now, to see that as a deficit of character, someone who is so hurt and weakened by the blows of life that they cannot deal boldly with my sincerity...

    I know some sisters want BOLD. BAD, BRASH in a brother, and that's why you'll see 'em hanging tough and tight with a brother with those qualities... Yet, some of them cannot provide a man what they want in a man???(smile!) Like we on many street corners in America, You Frontin', then(smile!) Don't ask for what you cannot provide in return...

    That having been said, sisters have to be practical and pragmatic... The beauty and sexy sensuousity does not last forever, thus you've got to take advantage of it, not throw it all away... I remember speaking about a sister of mine at this board once, how she macked a thousand brothers in her youth.... Well, all that youthful beauty that slew cats with a look is more than a few years removed from her, and all she raps about is FINDING a man where once she never had to look... Man, that's life... That's the human condition, and our youth does not last forever... You got to make the most of it now, and that mean appreciating it now - and whenever and wherever it is appreciated by others... Nuff said...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  5. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    LOL! What's happenin' Oldies?! You got me crackin' up with that doffing the cap piece, brother!(smile!) Yeah, it is old-school, but it's mad dashing,dapper and debonair!LOL! Matter of fact, I tipped my baseball cap with a flourish to a young sister recently, and she looked at me like , "yo, you need to just put that hat right back on yo head, old man..."(smile!)

    But, you're right on with your comments, good brother... Clearly, some sisters might put more credence in a compliment than is warranted... But, you know, brother, I have found myself in the position of wondering what the hell this old bag is looking my way for - no shot, honey, no shot!(smile!) I guess I empathize with the ladies on that tip...



    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  6. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    True indeed, especially since I've gotten a reprimand from the "Mother Goose" recently..

    So let's make this happen, shall we? ;)

    This is where you and I are different. However:

    This is where you and I are very much the same.

    True indeed. I wish more Sisters would use that God-Given intuition and figure this one rudimentary fact of life out. It's high-time that they did, for all our sakes.

    This is what I'm talking about.......What you've said here, and what I just recently responded to in your other thread (check it out, if you haven't already), has really got me thinking about who I am, and what I want out of life, especially regarding the Sisters.

    I'm at the point, as you said, where I feel they are going to either have to :poop1: or get off the pot. I'm more than prepared to fly solo for this next chapter of my life, but quite honestly, I really don't want to.....But I will if I have to.

    PEACE
     
  7. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    C'mon Guys.............

    More often than not, that compliment/hello turns into a flirting session, if a sister bites the bait. There have been a few times when I'm in the grocery store, and a Brother strikes up convo, now a couple of times my man was in another aisle grabbing a bag of chicken or sumpn', and a Brother wouldn't stop at a simple hi and bye. You know what that can escalade to. I do appreciate a simple:"Hello, how are you".:shades:
     
  8. Sodwn2earth

    Sodwn2earth Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I feel the same. I think that's why we don't give it a second thought when a brother gives us a compliment, beacause we don't want him to unwittingly think it's anything more. Some brothas really just can't take a hint. Although I always say hello, sometimes you just don't want to be bothered. Is that a crime?
     
  9. Agent_Jack

    Agent_Jack Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Powerful statement right there Brother
     
  10. SAMURAI36

    SAMURAI36 Banned MEMBER

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    No moreso, than us Brothers not bothering to speak to you. There are some things in this world, that you can't have both ways.

    So, to prevent you all from being "smothered", we'll just stare at you from a safe distance.

    That way, no one is inconvenienced, or made to feel uncomfortable or awkward.

    PEACE
     
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