Black Relationships : Committment with no Love?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by CarrieMonet, Sep 20, 2004.

  1. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Can you commit to or marry someone you don’t love? Do you think there is a chance that kind of relationship could last based solely on two people focusing on commitment instead of love?
     
  2. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Nah I do not think so. That is more like a buisness deal not a commited relationship.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    No way two can commit self and hold no love it will end before it start !
    love come with commitment and commitment come with love they are like
    husband & wife hand n' hand , you can commit your self to a person but
    you will find the need to love that person to stay commited .
     
  4. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    But wasn't there a time when marriages were arranged?

    One of my co-workers is from another country. He has lived here most of his life but just last year he married a young lady from his native land. Their familes arranged this marriage. I don't want to go too far off topic, but they seem to be in love NOW...but the committment came first.

    Can you committ to a person and fall in love with them later??

    If you really liked someone could you make a committment to them based on similar beliefs and interests alone?

    I have a hard time believing that most people who marry are always in love. Sometimes I think it's one-sided, one part of the union is really in love, the other part is only in LIKE. Over time...they either grow together or apart...which seems to be what happens anyway.
     
  5. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Hmmmm...Sister Carrie this is a very deep question. I had to re-read it several times and really think about it before I responded. My answer is, I I could be involved in a committed relationship with someone before "in love" developed. I would, however, need to have some form of affection or strong sense of compassion present, to at least inspire me to want to get involved with that special person in the first place.

    But if I'm genuinely interested in someone and want to be with them out of "like", and he feels the same about me, I'm willing to commit myself to him and allow the relationship (and feelings) to grow and develop into something deeper, and thereby sealing the commitment. I would be with that person exclusively.

    I wouldn't want to be with a man in a marriage or "committed" relationship where there was no promise of love growing or any physical/emotional bonding taking place. To me that's just a friendship.

    Queenie :spinstar:
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I say sure you can commit self on the same grounds and let love
    rise to a strong committment but also a feeling a bonding of both
    will need to be happening to reach love of heart or the committment
    is false .
     
  7. deb0

    deb0 Banned MEMBER

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    i think it depends on the people involved. Question is "why would somone do that?" If love is not a priority to them, then I can see where it's possible. Two heartless people sharing life together. Image be gone.

    Black is Still beautiful!!!
    Afrochat.net
     
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