This was supposed to be a collaboration pontificating the finer points of a grown type love you know that love so good you'd jump in front of a bullet type love that type of love my parents know love not puppy love love or the age old she loves him more than he loves her type love yet, all that remains in the room they shrouded in love are random socks and duct tape and that don't feel like no type love. Rambling actions constantly calculating mental scales until the lie unraveled leaving only truth and the weight of loss caused the rest to be wildly tossed into the air Common sense and my past experience chose the consequence and it's the only one I can live with. But, the question is - how do I live without you? Instead of a collaboration highlighting the differences between meeting his boy and not his mother; of sharing a drink and not feeding his family; of hearing his laughter, but not wiping his tears, this has turned into a solo grieving mess filled with only loss and discontent - Now, all this got me questioning, is what I want only contained within the lyrics of hip hop? Not those get low and shake it take it off and break me off lyrics contained within beats so hard even those remind me of you... But, those stories of thugs needing love and women so good they can make the hardest hood walk away for good Jay even strengthened this belief when he went and wifed B not even equating her to me, but Day-um, I catered to him so Why can't IT be ME? Or, Andre Ben rhyming, "Sin all depends on what you believe in." What if I believed in you, and my kids too - see, grown up love is never just about you. And, while I was thinking about tomorrow you never stopped running from last night and I am too **** old to be having such a cliché cake-and-eat-it-too type fight Common taught me there's so much in name, refused shorty I wanted you to see me for me, that there was no one the same but if love and monogamy was all we wanted perhaps you are the one to blame. 'Loso made me feel like MAYBE Ne-yo wasn't corny when they shared , 16 bars on who's my better half; and even Mase ripped how a girl made him wanna get a legal gig; DMX even had a hit reminding his ***** that from the start is wasn't all about a nut; he said I'm gonna be there, try and be fair... But, what's fair when the truth is a lie when your covers blown wide and there's no place to hide? Why couldn't you just mute those ******* like Wheezy on Receipt, cuz you know you like it cum once with them the second when you deceive Then Drizzy sang the best I ever had while you came thru and all the while I rode as fast as I could coming home to you We could bring it back to Notorious B.I.G Where we lie together, cry together I hope we ******* die together But that would be a biggie lie and I'm still trying to just catch five minutes of truth cuz I find it so hard believe you was in it for the I And, then, the Roots start crooning with Jill Scott constantly round the clock and now she's in his world like hip hip, And, that's when my Heart Stops. See, this was supposed to be a collaboration enumerating and illuminating the finer points of a grown type love but I can't write what I don't know about that type love So I'm a love poet who doesn't know love and most of these words ain't even real. Don't worry, won't stop writing cuz no matter what's been done I will always have my hip hop to pull from.