Black Jokes Humor : Church announcements

Discussion in 'Black Jokes Humor' started by Monetary, Sep 1, 2006.

  1. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    The Pastor would like to thank all of you who paid your?tithes last week. With the high price of gas - every little bit helps. And, he wanted us to mention that if you write a check, please make sure that it does not bounce. He said that you are still encouraged?to pay your tithes, and God only wants 10%, but if your check bounces we gone take 25%.

    From the health ministry! The usher board has asked those frequent shouters who routinely pass out on the altar to please wear clean underwear. Let your praise be holy, not your draws. Amen!!! The deacon board has brought this to our attention.

    Also, if you are one of the people tapped on your shoulder Sunday morning, make sure you pick up your Altoids at the hospitality desk before?entering the sanctuary. Saints, lets not let our breath hinder our neighbor's praise.

    Special Note: We would like to apologize for those who came out to?the Youth Explosion conference last night. The youth choir's remix of Shake that Laffy Taffy was totally unexpected. The youth director has been reprimanded and will issue a formal apology Sunday?morning.

    Also, for those who witnessed Mother Green getting up and doing the Laffy Taffy dance, and are concerned, she is doing fine. She is in Methodist North recovering well.

    Saints, don't forget about the Chitlin dinner this evening. If you haven't already placed your order, call the church office. And for those who are a little skeptical after the last Chitlin dinner, please feel at ease knowing that Pastor Happy has prayed over the Chitlins and no one from the Drug Rehab Ministry was involved in the preparation this time.

    The Pastor has requested that all "dark-skinneded" members sit in the light during night service. Last Wednesday he heard voices in the dark and thought they were demons.
     
  2. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    hahaha ..good one
     
  3. queentswana

    queentswana Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wonder why we always get the need to go back to the darkness? ...lol
     
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