Children who steal?

[PurpleMoons]

What disciplinary actions do you take with children who steal? I am experiencing a 10 year old who steals. She is not my child but she is like my child. I say this because she is here at my flat alot. On several ocassions I suspected that she was stealing from my house, But I did'nt want to accuse her unless I was sure. I was reluctant to inform her mother because I was'nt sure it was in fact her.
I have a large family full of children. My neighborhood is fruitful as well. Children flock to my house because they are friends of my children, neices, and nephews whom ages range from 14-4. If they are hungry or lonely or need someone to talk to or even just a place to go, my door is always opened.
When I was young, my mother was the same way and so am I. Well anyway, this child has stolen small things like a box of cake mix, earrings, and recently two coins that I collected. I asked my niece about it and if she had seen anyone with them. Her mouth dropped and just as I suspected it was this young child. I confronted her and asked her about it but of course she denied it. I told her that she did'nt have to lie to me but to admit that she was wrong. But she did'nt. So I told her that I was going to tell her mom in hopes that she would confess. Usually when she has done something I tell her this and she in turn tells her mom before I do and we discuss it.
However when I told her mother of this incident, although I sensed she doubted this, she still heard me out and admitted that in the past she has stolen from her. Her boyfriend asked me about it and replyed that he did'nt know her to steal as to accenuate that she don't. He suggested that I don't let her in my house anymore but my heart can't do that. I know here mother's situation with trying to hold down two jobs to support her family and she is gone most of the times.
Her partner is not her children's father and has'nt been around that long nor does he interfere with disciplining her two girls because of a past experience with another woman and her children. I know I am putting myself at risk of her stealing again, but I can't close my door on her. She is just a child who needs her mother to be home more but her mother needs to work to keep a roof over their heads. I just was wondering, what suggestions do you have for dealing with a child who steals?

 

[kente417mojo]

Whoop her til them coins fall out her pocket. Just kidding.

Well, I would ban her from the house until the stuff turned up. In the meanwhile, if anything else comes up missing then you may be wrong about accusing her. That's a tough one. I think if you are pretty sure that she took it, you have to protect your stuff. What good will having a child with
sticky fingers in your house do? If you're not sure then I would say keep investigating and tell all the children that come in the house that if anything else comes up missing...no one will be allowed over...period. Somebody knows what's going on, and somebody will tell if "The Spot" is in jeopardy.

 

[PurpleMoons]

Thank you much Kente!
Those are somethings that I have considered But what concerns me also is That her mother works from 3pm until 10p at night. In the meantime these little ones are practically on their on. Her sister who is 11, tries to be as responsible for her 10 year old sibling as much as an 11yr old can. If something happens to them because I closed my doors I would feel terrible. As a parent, I feel sort of responsible for them and is having trouble breaking down my maternal ties that influences me to be concern for them as well. In my neighborhood I am one of the few parents who watch out for them as well as my sisters. It's going to be tough to go through this kind of withdrawel, But I know I need to draw a line somewhere.

Thank you for your suggestions! I could just whoop her though!

 

[kente417mojo]

I hear you as far as keeping your door open goes. That's a very cool thing to do especially for kids that aren't related to you. Well, if I was in that situation I think I'd just make it clear (to everyone) that stealing will not be tolerated in my house. Then if it happens again, maybe you should consider it. I feel you though, because a 10 and 11 year old should not be left unattended for 7 hours. That's too much time to get into some nonsense.


Some suggestions:

1. Whoopin
2. Random search before leaving your house
3. Invest in a lie detector
4. Put locks on everything valued over $5.00
5. Pay one of the kids to be your informant (snitch)

I'm kidding (I'm in a good mood today)

 

[$$RICH$$]

it could be a lack of parenting her and she had to pick it up from someone
stealing is a wrong thing to do , I try to teach my kids not to never pick anything
up that don't belong to them this starts in the house.
Now if you know for a fact this child is stealing a good spanking will do
and then a talking to sho them where it's wrong to steal and let them know
what happens to people who steal some not so lucky and lose their life over
taken something , even if it's a friends child if they stealing from your home
don't allow them back for a while and they will miss being around sometime
their is a simple solution to a problem
let me think on this and how to handle a child who visit steals without harm but
guiding to curb the stealing