Children who steal?

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by PurpleMoons, Jun 11, 2004.

  1. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    What disciplinary actions do you take with children who steal? I am experiencing a 10 year old who steals. She is not my child but she is like my child. I say this because she is here at my flat alot. On several ocassions I suspected that she was stealing from my house, But I did'nt want to accuse her unless I was sure. I was reluctant to inform her mother because I was'nt sure it was in fact her.
    I have a large family full of children. My neighborhood is fruitful as well. Children flock to my house because they are friends of my children, neices, and nephews whom ages range from 14-4. If they are hungry or lonely or need someone to talk to or even just a place to go, my door is always opened.
    When I was young, my mother was the same way and so am I. Well anyway, this child has stolen small things like a box of cake mix, earrings, and recently two coins that I collected. I asked my niece about it and if she had seen anyone with them. Her mouth dropped and just as I suspected it was this young child. I confronted her and asked her about it but of course she denied it. I told her that she did'nt have to lie to me but to admit that she was wrong. But she did'nt. So I told her that I was going to tell her mom in hopes that she would confess. Usually when she has done something I tell her this and she in turn tells her mom before I do and we discuss it.
    However when I told her mother of this incident, although I sensed she doubted this, she still heard me out and admitted that in the past she has stolen from her. Her boyfriend asked me about it and replyed that he did'nt know her to steal as to accenuate that she don't. He suggested that I don't let her in my house anymore but my heart can't do that. I know here mother's situation with trying to hold down two jobs to support her family and she is gone most of the times.
    Her partner is not her children's father and has'nt been around that long nor does he interfere with disciplining her two girls because of a past experience with another woman and her children. I know I am putting myself at risk of her stealing again, but I can't close my door on her. She is just a child who needs her mother to be home more but her mother needs to work to keep a roof over their heads. I just was wondering, what suggestions do you have for dealing with a child who steals?
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Whoop her til them coins fall out her pocket. :nono: Just kidding.

    Well, I would ban her from the house until the stuff turned up. In the meanwhile, if anything else comes up missing then you may be wrong about accusing her. That's a tough one. I think if you are pretty sure that she took it, you have to protect your stuff. What good will having a child with
    sticky fingers in your house do? If you're not sure then I would say keep investigating and tell all the children that come in the house that if anything else comes up missing...no one will be allowed over...period. Somebody knows what's going on, and somebody will tell if "The Spot" is in jeopardy.
     
  3. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Thank you much Kente!
    Those are somethings that I have considered But what concerns me also is That her mother works from 3pm until 10p at night. In the meantime these little ones are practically on their on. Her sister who is 11, tries to be as responsible for her 10 year old sibling as much as an 11yr old can. If something happens to them because I closed my doors I would feel terrible. As a parent, I feel sort of responsible for them and is having trouble breaking down my maternal ties that influences me to be concern for them as well. In my neighborhood I am one of the few parents who watch out for them as well as my sisters. It's going to be tough to go through this kind of withdrawel, But I know I need to draw a line somewhere.

    Thank you for your suggestions! I could just whoop her though! :lol:
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I hear you as far as keeping your door open goes. That's a very cool thing to do especially for kids that aren't related to you. Well, if I was in that situation I think I'd just make it clear (to everyone) that stealing will not be tolerated in my house. Then if it happens again, maybe you should consider it. I feel you though, because a 10 and 11 year old should not be left unattended for 7 hours. That's too much time to get into some nonsense.


    Some suggestions:

    1. Whoopin
    2. Random search before leaving your house
    3. Invest in a lie detector
    4. Put locks on everything valued over $5.00
    5. Pay one of the kids to be your informant (snitch)

    I'm kidding (I'm in a good mood today) :tongue:
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it could be a lack of parenting her and she had to pick it up from someone
    stealing is a wrong thing to do , I try to teach my kids not to never pick anything
    up that don't belong to them this starts in the house.
    Now if you know for a fact this child is stealing a good spanking will do
    and then a talking to sho them where it's wrong to steal and let them know
    what happens to people who steal some not so lucky and lose their life over
    taken something , even if it's a friends child if they stealing from your home
    don't allow them back for a while and they will miss being around sometime
    their is a simple solution to a problem
    let me think on this and how to handle a child who visit steals without harm but
    guiding to curb the stealing
     
  6. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    That kid would have to earn my trust back and work off the debt....make her do things to ammount to the value you put on what was stolen.....dont hit no one elses kids. If you cant get her to stop and teach her right from wrong, tell her she is banned from your house.

    Make the threat and give her a set ammount of time to learn the difference between right and wrong, and repay the debt......tell her if she did not live up to what you expect in the given period, she will not be allowed within your doors or even on your yard for a year. (and mean it!!)
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    it may be wise to tell her Mother and also let her know she can't come back
    over to play until she learn that stealing is wrong and admit she took something from your home i agree with MrBlak statement and mean what you say but it's the right
    thing to do and tell her mom what she doing the problem lay within somewhere at
    home maybe her mom not giving enough attention kids do things for attention
    sometime they like something and will pick it up and keep it not understanding it was
    stealing she could be confused about what stealing really is a talking to may help
     
  8. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Wow! Just look at the voices of my Brothers! :D
    I read all of yous suggestions earlier but could'nt
    respond right away. I was'nt home and did'nt have time.
    I think all of yall suggestions are great and I will apply
    them to my situations. I'm also surprised that my sisters
    did'nt spray no knowledge up in here.
    YOU GUYS ARE WONDERFUL! :jumping:
    Brotha Kente, your comment forced me to find humor in this
    stressful situation and I thank you for makin me Smile!
    You have all blessed me with great ideas and I truly appreciate them
    from the core of my soul! :kiss: :grouphug: :thanks:
     
  9. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    PurpleMoons, I tried to start a coin collection as well....but I kept running out of money, and I had to spend them. ;) Kente417Mojo had great advice. Although you want to help these kids (which is admirable), you also have to protect your valuables. Until you find out whodoneit......lock up all your stuff & nail everything down!
     
  10. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    Lol! It's funny you should mention this because that is what sent me after the coins in the first place. LOL!

    I've been collecting the state coins every since they came out. The philadelphia mint and the denver mint. I have all the Philadelphia mints and most of the denver ones. I have'nt seen any for this year as of yet.

    The two coins that has gone missing is the gold indian head dollar. That one is easy to replace but( please bare with my spelling of this one) The Susan bieantnie coin I have'nt seen for years now and hope I come across it again.

    Unfortunately Brotha Panafrica, I know it was her because everytime something has gone missing she was the only one around at the times. Also I have retrieve items from her that she attempted to take. She tried to past the blame off on someone else but the items was in her possession. I should have pulled her card on it then and there, but I thought that the humility of being caught would have straightened her out. I know as a kid, that did it for me me. I was wrong not to get her mother involved in those incidents. I know better now.
     
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