Children having children

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by Regina, Jun 17, 2003.

  1. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Older sisters, we must show our younger sisters the way. They are making far too many mistakes in their relationships and lives. We must be role models and guide them.

    What are you doing to assist in guiding our young sisters so they don't make the mistake of becoming a mother too young?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    dis be a far cry unto every home
    yes sistah of age need to clamp down and show
    them the fast lane is a bad lane for their lives
    this what need to be in every community
    i would love to hear what sistahs have to say !!!
     
  3. SwtT

    SwtT Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Man , I AM the age which you're speakin of...I just tell my girls to protect themselves and get on birth control...I'm off the sex market til marriage I recommited myself but you gotta understand that sumtimes you can talk til your blue in the face and STILL stupid girls get pregnant.....(Mistake my butt:mad: )it ain't cool! But it starts in the home, wether poeple recocognize that or not
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    yes indeed it do ......not just big sistahs but bruthas as well
    i teach and speak all the time for these gurls to stay in school
    and worry bout sexuality later
    most wanna try it because they gurlfriend did
    or some guy pushing them ova da edge a bit
    but one whom do this is not a great friend
    ur on point swtT.....................
     
  5. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I talk to parents and children all the time about the benefits of waiting to allow one's self to grow and develop into a mature thinking and behaving person, able to take on the responsibilities we might not otherwise be prepared to handle. However, I don't "preach" to people because I don't see where that does any good.

    It's important for those of us that call ourselves "role models" not to be hypocrits. Young people aren't stupid and they see right through the lies. How many of us, including parents, practice what they preach?

    It's an extremely tough time for our young girls these days. So much sex is all around us and almost everyone is exposed to it in some way shape or form. It stimulates the natural curiousity in us.

    Girls seem to be developing physically at younger ages these days or maybe it's today's fashion that makes it seem that way. Some parents seem not to be mind how their children look when they leave the house. In fact, they're mostly the one's choosing their clothes.

    Part of the problem is with older men having sex with and fathering babies by young girls too. Our young boys are not always the father. How do we keep our daughters out of "harms" way and teach them how to say NO and mean it?

    Is it realistic to expect that girls and boys will, on average, choose sexual abstinence over indulgence in this day and age? How can we teach our sons and daughters the importance of waiting when they see so much loose and sexual behavior all around them? Are our children getting "permission" to have sex by people other than parents when they receive free birth control devices?

    How old do you have to be to have sex? How old do you have to be to legally drive a car or drink alcohol in America? How old do you have to be to afford paying for prenatal and childbirth expenses?
     
  6. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    NNQueen,

    We definitely must be proactive. One place to start is our own home and family. I don't have any children, but every so often, I teach a class for family members. Each child receives a book, "What's happening to my body for girls or What's happening to my body for boys". We talk about issues and they open up to me easier than their own parents. It has become a big hit. We discuss the pros and cons of certain decisions.

    This is definitely a new age and children are maturing faster than ever. We must continue to work toward stronger families and communities and teach our children to be at peace with their decisions despite the peer pressure from others. We must try our best to protect our children from certain aspects of corruption. It is definitely harder to do that now.

    Also through my volunteer work, I try to make a difference. If our children don't get positive attention from family, they will seek negative attention. Some children are in communities where they never see an intact family or know anyone who graduated from college. They live what they know until they are exposed to something different. We must work to give them opportunities. This is why I am so adamant about parents working together for the sake of their children regardless of their differences.
     
  7. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    All very good points, Regina! I would be interested in knowing more about the class you teach to families, what some of the issues are that youth raise and how you respond to questions.

    Also, what is some of the advice you give to parents to encourage them to work together for the sake of their children regardless of their differences?

    I think that would be excellent information to have available here at the Forums, don't you? This is another proactive way that we can begin to broadcast solutions in direct relationship to issues and concerns that are raised.

    What do you think?

    Peace!
     
  8. Regina

    Regina Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I have a class for the girls and a class for the boys. This works best and keeps the embarrassment at bay. At the beginning of class, they are given a test of twenty questions. The test covers basic things they should know about their bodies and other information. Most of them flunk the test! They are shocked because they think they know everything. One question for the girls is, "What is the correct term for a female's monthly cycle?" I have gotten all kinds of answers.

    I have visual aids, charts and provide other classroom materials. We have hands on assignments. I am honest with the children when they ask questions, even personal questions about how I have dealt with issues. I give them examples of decisions others have made. I stress to them a smart person is one who learns from her/his mistakes but an even smarter person learns from the mistakes of others. Some of the questions I get are "How do you properly insert a tampon (girls)? and Why do I sometimes wake up and the bed is wet (boys) because a part of my body is reacting in a weird way?

    After the class, I treat them to dinner. They like the class and I have had a lot of positive feedback from their parents also. Some of the parents have talked with their children about various topics and some haven't. It opens the door for communication and lets the children know we are trying to show them the way.

    I encourage parents not to involve their children in adult matters. Don't let them be your sounding board when you are upset with the other parent. Don't put the children in the middle. If you truly love your children, love them enough not to be bitter and emotionally scar them. Don't try to ruin the other parent, emotionally or financially, because in the end, the children suffer. I encourage them to not fight it out in the courts, but work together through some sort of mediation. Their finances are only going to the lawyers and the people in the court system when it should go towards their children's future. I am so tired of seeing the court battles over trivial issues. Our children deserve a childhood where they don't have to worry about food, shelter, clothing or continuous conflict at home. It is a fact that when fathers are allowed to be more involved in their children's lives, the children suffer less financially and emotionally.

    I think it a good idea. Let me know if you would like me to do an outline of the course, etc.

    Peace, my sister.
     
  9. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Regina, please check your email and holla back!

    Peace! :)
     
  10. DestinyLove222

    DestinyLove222 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am in the age of young girls and I don't have sex and if I do have sex I will protect myself with birth control. I plan to have sex when I get married. Every girl is different. All girls aren't alike. My mom talks to me all the time about sex. Even though I am very tempted to have sex I do not succumb to temptation because I know sex before marriage is wrong. But if I do have sex before I get married I will ask God to forgive me. Reply if you have something to say about what I wrote!!!!!!!! :)
     
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