may i take your order?" the waiter asked. "yes, how do u prepare ur chickens?" "nothing special sir," he replied. "we just tell them straight out that they're going to die." a man, called to testify at the IRS, asked his accountant for advice on what to wear. "wear ur shabbiest clothing. let him think u r a pauper," the accountant replied. then he asked his lawyer the same question, but got the opposite advice. "do not let them intimidate u. wear ur most elegant suit & tie." confused, the man went to his rabbi, told him of the conflicting advice & requested some resolution of the dilemma. "let me tell u a story," replied the rabbi. "a woman, about 2b married, asked her mother what to wear on her wedding night. 'wear a heavy, long, flannel nightgown that goes right up to your neck.' but when she asked her best friend, she got conflicting advice. wear ur most sexy negligee, w a V neck right down 2 ur navel." the man protested: "what does all this hv 2 do w my problem w the IRS?" "no matter what u wear, u r going 2 get screwed."