Black Short Stories : Chickenman ptIII.

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by Tha-Emissary, Aug 20, 2005.

  1. Tha-Emissary

    Tha-Emissary Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Episode III: When the Funk hits the Pan, You've Got to make a stand I say Gt Funky,Get Funky!!!

    Will Chicken Open be able to open up a can of Whip Cream on the Fiends or Will Tator get Tatorized into Tator Salad before he can prepare Chicken for duel of his life? These questions and many more will be answered in the latest episode of The Adventures of ChickenMan.

    When we last left off our hero wuz left off in the hands of his uncle Tator and his mother failed to return upon reaching her final destination at the evil hands of the two henchmen known as Honey Combs them naps and Snap Crackle Pops you upside the head. Chicken now was an orphan remaining with the last member of the family his uncle Tator, who must attempt to teach him the Martial Art skillz he needs to kill the so ever closely approaching assasins. So back in Side Order City, Uncle Tator realizes that something is wrong when his sister doesn't return. He remembers that at all cost he must protect this child. Uncle Tator realizes that chicken is still too tiny and too bo-legged to fight off these fiends yet. So he turns to a secret family recipe for help. It is believed by his ancestor that this recipe can spontaneously age an infant child into a young man. However, the spell had never been tried before ,but Uncle Tator had no time to waste. So he cooks up the magical pot of collard greens and cornbread. Although the spell called for hot sauce, he sparingly used it and peppers to keep Chicken from becoming too mean. After he was finished cooking his meal he feed the greens and cornbread to Chicken. Almost Instantaneously Chicken began to grow. In one minute he grew to the age of 5yr old and first began to speak. His first words were, "Are you my baby daddy?" Uncle Tator responded, "No my son I'm afraid not I'm just your temporary baby daddy." Within another five minutes Chicken grew to the age of 11 and began to speak even more impressively, He said, "Uncle Tator is it true that it only takes you one minute to make two babies. " Uncle Tator angrily replied, "You shut yo mouth boy that ain't none of your business and if you tell anyone I'll have to kill ya myself." Within the remaining four minutes left, the spell recipe morphed chicken into a youngman. Chicken arose tall dark and handsome and no longer bo-legged. He was now ready for the battle ahead. All that was need now was to teach him how to fight. Uncle Tator took Chicken into living room pulled out his DVD player and began to play reruns of Bruce Lee movies, The Cosby Show, Soulfood, an even more. Uncle Tator began downloading all sorts of fighting and cooking skills into his mind off of the DVD's. Within a matter of seconds Chicken was learning Karate, JuJitsu, Kungfu, Ebonics and and even Taibo. The fighting downloads were complete. Suddenly, the border Alarm went off. Uncle Tator realized that the intruders had breached security and were closing in. He began to slap the taste out of Chicken's mouth to wake him up from download cram session. He said, "Son I've equipped you with what you need, now your on your on cause I finna get's the hell up out of here." The bolts on the steel door began to give as the intruders were busting in. Uncle Tator performed a Ludacrisp and Roled Out. Now it was Chicken and fiends. Two on one just like the big paperview Showdowns. The door slammed to the floor as Honey Combs and Snap Cracke Pops stood motionless in the door way trying to look all hard. Chicken smiled with his big buck teef showing. He said, "You killed my Mother didn't you." Honey Combs laughed, " Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha, Please believe it sucker we've got the extensions to prove it and your next!" Honey Combs broke out his pick comb and lunged for Chicken's naps. Chicken countered with a Matrix and some Taibo to his head. Honey Combs wuz stunned. He screamed," Boy where did you learn to fight like that." Chicken yelled, "Yo Mama." "Now enough of this playing around, now it my turn" ,shouted Snap Crackle Pop. He began to try to Snap Crackle and Pop Chicken up against his fo-head, but it was useless his fo-head wuz impenetrable..... Chicken now angry and steaming for revenge resulted to one of his power moves. He called upon the power of the chitlings. With all his remaining strength he formed a fireball of cooked chitlings and threw them at his foes. Snap Crackle and Pops laughed and said, "Ha Ha That wuz a bunch of crap it doesn't even hurt." Chicken just stood there and smiled buck teef showing and replied, "It's not supposed to you idiot." Almost instantaneously the wind caught the aroma of the chitlings and engulfed the two foes..... The funk was so terrible that they fell to their knees and began to die. Chicken quickly grabbed his foe and shook him and asked, "Who sent you for me." Snap Crackle Popped overwhelmed by the funk of the chitlings and barely able to speak said, "It was Master Fo Shezzie Greasy who sent us and as long as you're still alive there will be more." And for the last time Snap Crackle and Pop breathed his last breath and decayed into a rice crispy treat. Honey Combs also lay dead. Uncle Tator, and the townspeople rejoiced and celebrated. Uncle Tator, spoke to Chicken. He said, " I am so very proud of you, but it saddens me to tell you this." He takes Chicken in private and remorsefully tells Chicken that his stay will endanger the colony if he remains on the FUBU and he must travel To Earth to defeat Master Fo Shezzie Greasy if there is ever to be a peace again. And so the story goes on, Chicken now leaves his colony in his Pinto Pod for the sake of his people and to take on the Master and bring Peace once again back to the Galaxy. Dunh Dunh Dunh???????????????? So Can our faithful hero be bout it bout it for the coming task ahead or will he be homesick for that ghetto sick cornbread of Uncle Tators..... All these questions and many more will be answered in the next weeks Episode fo Chicken Man, Coming to America!!!!! So you know how we do it stay tuned stay crunk and don't burn that cornbread baby WE'llllllll Hollaaaaaaaaa!!!!!
     
  2. Froggy1

    Froggy1 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    niiice man niiice
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    all snap chickenman ......dis getting good
    more more more !!!! i want more.
     
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