Black Relationships : Cheating and Conceiving

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Tee, Feb 13, 2005.

  1. Tee

    Tee Member MEMBER

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    My best friend has been in a relationship with this guy for 2 yrs. In the first 6 months, things were going great, until his "ex" found out about her. From that point on there were numerous confrontations between them about him. He always tried to reassure her that there was nothing going on with them, but she always had her doubts. At the beginning of the second year, just when she thought things were getting back on track, his "ex" says that she is pregnant by him. He said that there is a possibility that he could be the father, from a one night stand that occurred while they were broken up for a month. My sources tell me that this was planned by her, once she found out that he no longer wanted her and was moving on with my friend. She has lost all trust and respect for him. She is deeply hurt by the situation, because she thought that he really loved her. She was told that she shouldn't be as upset because he didn't cheat on her, but I feel like that there must have been something going on all along for his "ex" to even have the time to get off the pills(that she took for 5 yrs.) and plan for a baby. She is still with him and said that if the baby is his, that she will leave. I have information that supports her "doubts," but I think she will be mad at me thinking that I knew all along. The baby is due in Apr.05 and I'm running out of time. I don't want to hurt her, because she has been through enough, but I don't think that she should stick around because he is a compulsive liar. What should I do?
     
  2. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Leave it alone. She must learn on her own. Too often I have seen this situation where those who are really their friend try and reveal the truth of what's going on. Not only did it 95% of the time not work, (because she or he winds up still staying with them or going back)...but I have seen those same friendships destroyed all because they were BEING A FRIEND.

    THE FACTS ARE THIS; "NO ONE KNOWS THE DEPTHS OF SOMEONE ELSES HEART" AND AS SUCH, it's best for you to leave it alone until THEY DISCOVER THE DEPTH OF THEIR OWN HEART IN TERMS OF WHAT THEY WANT AND NEED.
     
  3. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I think you should be the friend to comfort her but allow her to see the deep side
    of her self and the truth of him , surely once the baby come she will know without
    you trying to fix it , it's true sometime they will still be together and she will shift feeling
    against you and think you was trying to break them up just comfort her as a friend
    we never know what the next heart is really feeling

    but if it is his then she should move on from him and start anew
    i wish her all the luck on this one ....
     
  4. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Tell her....

    I know she's going thru alot right now, but believe me, it's better to find out everything now so that she can start healing and mending her heart and broken spirit. Trust me, the sooner the better. Let her know that you kept that information not to hurt her, but to keep from hurting her even more.
    Let us know what you decide and how things go.
     
  5. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    get the hell out!

    she should get out.
    you should say want you know and what you think and then step back.

    the person has to decide if they want to be a victim or not.
     
  6. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Some people want to know..and some don't. If she's the type who doesn't want to know, then don't tell. If she's the type that wants to know, then tell it. Hell, I'd tell it either way. You don't want to say later on that you knew something and didn't tell her.

    Your friendship is defined by what you do; not what she accepts. So, if I were you, I'd tell her.
     
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