Black Short Stories : Carey and Me

Discussion in 'Short Stories - Authors - Writing' started by wildflower7, Jun 22, 2001.

  1. wildflower7

    wildflower7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Carey lived up the road from my grandparents’ house. I spent every summer there and he was my playmate (partner in crime) from the time we were 7.

    When we turned 16, things changed a bit. He hung out with his friends most of the time and I spent most of my time either in my grandpa’s store or my grandma’s garden. He and I hung out on rare occasions like some Sunday nights when he found his way back to my grandma’s porch knowing I’d be sitting there in a rocker counting lightning bugs like we did when we were children.

    There was this thing between us; this tension that neither one of us knew how to deal with. He was so delicious chocolate sweet like melon made me melt in his smile. I used to wonder sometimes what his lips tasted like, but I’d never let on. Half the time he probably thought I hated him.

    As it happened, on Sunday, he invited me to go sailing. We sailed along the shore. Late in the afternoon we dropped anchor and watched the sky and shot the breeze. This afternoon of sitting on the water was different than any other time we went sailing (floating). There was a feeling in the air, a knowing in my mind, a rising heat between my legs, butterflies in my stomach….

    In the middle of a silent moment he asked, “So what if I kiss you?”
    “Huh?” I sat straight up.
    “If I kissed you, what would you do?”
    “I might just die!”
    He laughed. “Die Sheli? Wow…” he retreated.
    “-I mean, not because it would be gross, Care, but because, I don’t know… Why?

    He was silent for a while, looking out toward where the water and the horizon met. Then he turned towards me and leaned in. I sat there paralyzed. My heart started racing. As he leaned in, he tilted his head and brushed his lips over mine. I closed my eyes. Then he kissed my lips fully. When he leaned back I opened my eyes and blushed. He moved in again, kissed me then took my bottom lip in his mouth and caressed it with his tongue. Both of us began breathing heavy. I put my hands on his face and kissed him back. He brushed his lips against mine again. “I can’t believe this is happening,” I whispered. He smiled and pulled me down to his body as he leaned back. I smoothly responded to his lead. We kissed deeply then I kissed his neck and all around it.

    We lost ourselves and anything around didn’t exist. I had never before been kissed. I hadn’t been that close to a boy. I was throbbing in my pants and he felt so hard in his. We kissed and touched for hours. And when the sun started to set, rode back to the dock and walked to my grandparents’ house arm in arm saying nothing.
     
  2. UbZoRbShUn

    UbZoRbShUn Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    oh yeah

    this is good. Is this your first venture ? I ain't no expert or nothing, but I liked the easy flow of this. I would play up the details a lil more is all. My heart was pounding when he started to lean in. I liked it.
     
  3. wildflower7

    wildflower7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for the feedback

    i've written short stories before but kept them to myself. this is the first i've really shared but this was more of an assignment for myself since i haven't been writing like i should.
    thank you ubzorbshun

    sherykah... thanks for your comments. i don't really know where i want to take it but i've been thinking about maturing it. the throbbing... hey, throbbing is throbbing LOL :D it happens, girl. i was taking from memory a little.

    peace y'all.
    -7 :spinstar:
     
  4. blakverb

    blakverb Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Okay,

    Now you're a storyteller. I;m digging it queen! keep hitting me with the skills.

    blak "10"
     
  5. wildflower7

    wildflower7 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thanks for reading this verb...
    we could use ideas like this
    for our future project.
    -7:spinstar:
     
  6. shaz

    shaz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    i was completely intrigued and delightfully pleased by your short story, you are a fascinating flower.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    what a story .....u said it !!
     
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