Black Poetry : Captivity Rythmn, Jazzing the Mental of My Mind

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by ASHANTA, Mar 2, 2003.

  1. ASHANTA

    ASHANTA Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Rhythm, Jazzing the Mental of My Mind
    By Jacqueline Amos

    Blues on my mind, wrapped with black jazz,
    within my desires, enhancements,
    see the, illusions take on,
    Marvin Gaye lets get it on,
    Billy Holiday, my man don't love me,
    sing Billy as, I undress, stepping in the visions,
    of black jazz, covered with the blue eyes,
    soul brother, get down, soars of great sounds.

    Close my eyes, Cotton comes to Harlem,
    here dizzy blow, entering my universe,
    as the horns blow, climaxing the drums,
    salty waters, fall upon my face,
    Delicious visitations, conquered and drained,
    blow on the misty moods of love.

    Tapping my feet to the beat,
    waters fall upon my knees,
    I kneeled, taking on the visions,
    that reflects the soul, of the beat,
    Fixed in backgrounds, Mama want to sing,
    Flashing lights upon my face, Sarah Von,
    oh what dose it take, Embraced horns,
    wrapped around my captivity of great space.
    Play those blues, black jazz, soul blue eyes,
    feeling my juice.

    Copywriter 2001 Jacqueline Amos
    Embracing, the flashing lights, jazz on my mind, mental wrapped around my captivity of great space.

    :love:
     
  2. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    You've got a few spelling and grammar errors in this; but, overall, it's a good "stream-of-consciousness" type of piece.

    I thought of the Harlem Renaissance as I read it. And Sonia Sanchez or Nikki G came to mind as well.

    You took a nice "memory lane" trip into the land of jazz!
     
  3. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    CB

    i understand you love the poem but the critique part

    we don't do here

    this critique section is for that

    http://destee.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=202

    stop making me work lol
     
  4. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Calm down, dude. I just saw your last reply AFTER I posted this. I stand corrected and I have said so in my previous post.

    Besides, a little work won't kill ya. :laugh:
     
  5. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    i'm already calm

    who said i work for you:?:

    lol
     
  6. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    Certainly not I.

    You are the one who introduced the word "work" into this exchange.

    I neither stated nor implied that you "work for me." I only commented that ANY work certainly won't kill you. That is a universal truth, applicable to you and me and every other human being.


    Have a good day.
     
  7. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    get it right

    you "introduced" work by having me work

    i see you like critiquing

    :tennis:

    speaking of critiquing

    ANY work certainly won't kill you is not a universal truth it is

    relative statement

    peace
     
  8. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

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    LOL! Well, since you keep coming back, it's certainly "RELATIVE" for YOU today! :laugh:

    Look, dude, I didn't come here for drama or chaos or conflict.

    I was unaware of the "critiquing" rule. You corrected me, and I accepted that correction. When you saw my 2nd "critique," that was AFTER I had read your post.

    Now, I would like to continue reading and enjoying the Poetry selections here.

    So, whether your "work" was voluntary or involuntary, it was not in vain. And, again, I thank you for the "heads-up" about not critiquing.
     
  9. Da Street So'ja

    Da Street So'ja Banned MEMBER

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    drama chaos or conflict?

    where do you see that?
     
  10. Lataisha Nicole

    Lataisha Nicole Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    well..... sis, I dig this poem, I could see myself jigging in the shadows to sounds that are able to grab one by the soul and lift them up to certain heights that they themselves did not know was reachable. You took me there.
    Thank you poet, Write on!
     
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