Black Relationships : Can't Help Myself

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by The_Entertainer, Jun 23, 2004.

  1. The_Entertainer

    The_Entertainer Member MEMBER

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    I seem to have a recurring situation. I'm a decent looking guy, but my attitude and personality really puts me high in the eyes of females. What better way to a ladies' heart than by listening and comforting. The problem is, alot of these females are just great in every aspect, and I tend to cross the line with most, instead of just remaining that great friend they can talk to. But I feel as if its not intentional, it just happens because we both happen to be extremely comfortable around each other. I've started to get bad vibes about this, when some of the females already have an significant other and seemingly I come in between. So currently I have been putting females off, and keeping my distance, but to them it comes off as being non-cozier.
     
  2. PurpleMoons

    PurpleMoons Administrator STAFF

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    :wave: WELCOME....WELCOM....WELCOME Entertainer :wave:

    What a very interesting post!
    I would like to know others
    opinions as well! I don't
    have any comments to add
    at this time.

    Again welcome to Destee's!
    I will be looking for future post
    from you as well.

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  3. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You are VERY lucky to have those skills. Be careful what you wish for my man. Dont go hoping women will pass you by and not be your freind or not be attracted more than that. You might have that wish come true then you will know what it is like for some of us.

    It is all a mtter of self discipline IMO. I imagine I might go crazy too if I woke up one day and was attracting women left and right and many of them would gladly go byeond freindship. I would have to control my self though so as to remeber the life I had "before" and not go back to it.

    Did you always have this good a life in terms of contact with the opposite sex? If not then I understand you losing control a bit, otherwise, you gotta just shape up. Dont ever decide to cut off contact with women though. Trying to turn them off is crazy, cause if you did that naturally, you would hate life.
     
  4. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Bruh I feel ya pimping. That sound alot like how I do.

    But I will say that it even though for me easier to please ten women than it is one.

    Sometimes, things get old, and after while this thizzle you got going will fade away too.
     
  5. The_Entertainer

    The_Entertainer Member MEMBER

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    Well when you ask did i always have this good life... I'd have to say yes, ever since I could remember I have always been a very analytical person and because of that, I tend to go beyond what I see on the outside of people, and actually try to dig down inside of the females to see whats really going on, and hopefully to encourage them make some changes to be a better person. And who can not be grateful for that??? So as most of them are attractive, they tend to really appreciate me, and it just goes from there. But I do thank you for your advice, and understand what you mean by if I never had this type of life.
     
  6. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    can u be MY friend-lol
     
  7. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I agree with MrBlak in that you do not want to stop being friends with women. As a woman, I love having platonic male friends, however, I had to decide if that man was a friend/buddy or friend/someone I am interested in. The lines get blurred if you don't clearly define them. The other problem is this...If you get into a relationship, a serious one with someone, will you drop these "friends"? If so, then they weren't really friends to you, but women you passed time with. I don't think you are a bad guy, lots of women would love to have an intelligent, analytical brother to kick it with, and if he was attractive also, that's just gravy. You have to draw the line for your actions. If you are sincrere about being a friend, then stick to that friendship. Don't send mixed signals. :sand:

    You'll be fine..
     
  8. The_Entertainer

    The_Entertainer Member MEMBER

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    Hey jazzy, I don't think i said I STOPPED being friends with women, I just sorta distanced myself. Question, how would you clarify something of that nature, when what happens is never intentional. As I was saying I'm one of the good guys, when I'm in a relationship I belong to just one person and its alot easier for me to keep that space because I'm only focused on one person. Now when I'm single... different story. You say mixed signals... but I think its more along the lines of me being the close friend they can confide in, and probably someone worthy of having a relationship with. So I guess I'm trying to say that I don't send the mix signals, I'm strictly there for encouragement, but when they start feeling comfortable I can't help but to somehow get involved.
     
  9. jazzymoonchild

    jazzymoonchild Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm sorry Entertainer if I made you feel like I was calling you a bad guy. Quite the contrary. There are some people who, no matter what they do, people are going to be attracted to them. You appear to be one of those people. It's a gift. Not your fault. What I was trying to convey to you, is that when you take on friendships, everyone has a role and must be responsible in those roles. If these women appear to want more than just friendship from you, and it is not what you want, you may have to pull back a little, so that you may both put the friendship in perspective. Alot of us send out what is read as a mixed signal, and sometimes it really is unintentional. Also, if you have a special woman in your life who is secure in both her relationship with you and herself, you don't want to give her reason to suspect that there is more than friendship going on. "Comfort and compassion" get a little blurry sometimes.

    Keep your head focused and they will eventually understand that you are just trying to provide a listening ear. I hope this clears it up a little. :court:
     
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