Black Relationships : Can't find a GOOD Black man...or can't find you TYPE of Black man?

Originally posted by Dual Karnayn
One such phrase I'd like to draw particular attention to is the oft-repeated phrase:

"It's so hard to find a GOOD Black man."


Now most of our sisters don't say this, only a few do and most do not actuall mean ill intent by using the phrase.
But if we really examine this statement from a different angle; what we're really saying indirectly is MOST BLACK MEN ARE BAD.


We are conditioning ourself to accept that most Black men are no good.
If we are conditioned to accept this, then it's only a matter of time before our enemy uses this acceptance of our "moral inferiority" to thier advantage and act on it.

I'll agree with this point made, but in the defense of females, I would like to think that they mean that enough black men aren't meeting their potential. This then ties back to what Blaklioness said.
 
Sodwn2earth said:
Originally posted by Dual Karnayn

I'll agree with this point made, but in the defense of females, I would like to think that they mean that enough black men aren't meeting their potential. This then ties back to what Blaklioness said.


What about Black men who are "meeting their potential" and are still not recognized and respected as such?
 
SMH.......................

Dual Karnayn: "We can't see how much we hate ourselves, it's ingrained in our culture...but others can"

If I had a dollar for how many times a day I hear US degrading each other, especially in public, I would never need to buy another lotto ticket.LOL
I especially can't stand it when I see a Black child in public 'just being a kid', and the mother reminds him/her constantly to 'behave' when in the presence of whites. From my observations, TOO MANY of US tend to put on a show in public, and tend to say 'wise' things aloud, then turn around and look for reactions from the surrounding 'spectators'. I know i'm in Cali, but there's not some agent scouting for actors every second of the day:rolleyes: ..LMAO.

For instance: I was grocery shopping with a family friend a couple of years ago, and she was describing LOUDLY how a girl nearby had been kidnapped. As her story came to an end, she tapped my shoulder, (almost knocked my sturdy frame over) and screamed: "I can't believe that monster (SE)DUCTED HER!!!!"(mispronunciation of ABDUCTED). A group of white men started chuckling so hard that it made me laugh. My friend had the nerve to say aloud: "What the #ell dese peckawoods laughin at...shoooooot!" This type of ignorance gives 'others' the opportunity to degrade us. I don't suggest we stand at attention for others. Just have a little bit of class.:idea:
 
Spicy

If I had a dollar for how many times a day I hear US degrading each other, especially in public, I would never need to buy another lotto ticket.LOL
I especially can't stand it when I see a Black child in public 'just being a kid', and the mother reminds him/her constantly to 'behave' when in the presence of whites. From my observations, TOO MANY of US tend to put on a show in public, and tend to say 'wise' things aloud, then turn around and look for reactions from the surrounding 'spectators'. I know i'm in Cali, but there's not some agent scouting for actors every second of the day ..LMAO.

For instance: I was grocery shopping with a family friend a couple of years ago, and she was describing LOUDLY how a girl nearby had been kidnapped. As her story came to an end, she tapped my shoulder, (almost knocked my sturdy frame over) and screamed: "I can't believe that monster (SE)DUCTED HER!!!!"(mispronunciation of ABDUCTED). A group of white men started chuckling so hard that it made me laugh. My friend had the nerve to say aloud: "What the #ell dese peckawoods laughin at...shoooooot!" This type of ignorance gives 'others' the opportunity to degrade us. I don't suggest we stand at attention for others. Just have a little bit of class.
Yeah I hate that sh*t....

It's so embarrasing as if so many of our people lack common sense and how to carry themselves in public.

Talking loud on cell phones putting all thier business out in the street and talking about sexual or violent encounters...confirming EVERY stereotype other people ever had about us.

I don't mind a woman disciplining her children in public, but it's HOW so many do it.

There seems to be no love, just anger and hatred.

To see women cussing at their little children in gruff deep voices is very unnatural and borders on disgusting.

"Get yo stupid *** over hurr LeShawn!"

"I'm go beat the shi7 out yo *** from ear to ear when we get home!"


Other folks are looking in amazement at how such a short little package can be so angry and powerful.

Giving their kids all kind of immature and foolish nick-names like:

Boody, and DoDoJuan....

"Come on Lil' PeePee....let's go!"

Like you said, it's a matter of class.

It's not about showing of or trying to apologize to whites and others for our behavior, it's about common sense.
We shouldn't behave like that no matter who's around to see.
 
My Wife found a good Black Man in myself, when she decided too open herself to my fallacies.

I believe that Black Women and Black Men always miss out on good relationships because they are focused on the wrong things. For example:

My Wife dumped me a year ago for not having a job.

A year later she took me back while I was staying in a homeless shelter.

I took her back after getting gainful employment.

Most women would have never taken back a man whom they dumped for lack of employment while he was in a homeless shelter, and most men would not have taken the woman back who dumped them in their time of need.

The reasons why we took each other back were because we saw spiritual growth in each other, that far surpassed what he had in the beginning. The real results were not me buying a new home and getting a high paying job, nor were they her becoming more tolerable. We simply saw that we were more mature than our previous states, and we both realized that materialism has nothing to do with humanity. Moreover, we started our own love movement which each other, that encouraged, and supported us as two beings. We dropped the negativity that so many black people have for each other, and once we dropped this negativity we grew as individuals.

So in the end, my wife ended up with a 5 time felon, Homeless man, who was definitely not her type. I ended up with a wife who was stuck up, all about the bread and stuck in fantasy. But the reality of the situation is that we both realized that we have flaws, and we ended up with a person who can accept those flaws.

In conclusion, I believe that some Black Men and Women are so stuck on tree of fantasy that they miss out on the beautiful forest of reality. I hope that more people can look past these simple differences and move forward.
 

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