Black People : Can You Pardon The Sister or Brother That You Have Something Against?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Dec 8, 2011.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Family,

    Brother Skuder's thread made me think of this one! :toast:

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that you have something against?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that has violated you?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that disagrees with you vehemently?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that made a decision you did not like?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that doesn't live the way you think they should?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that has made mistakes in their life?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that hurt your feelings?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that lied, stole, or done you some wrong?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that makes us all look bad?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that worships in a different way?

    Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that thinks completely different than you?

    If you can't pardon these, please don't ask anyone else to pardon another, for you look hypocritical.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Keita Kenyatta

    Keita Kenyatta going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Destee, you're asking a whole lot right here. We don't want to confuse anything. Lets take for example;

    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that worships in a different way?".......Possibly cultural
    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that thinks completely different than you?"......possibly cultural
    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that has violated you?".....this depends upon the degree of the violation
    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that has made mistakes in their life?".....this is personal (their life)
    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that you have something against?"....this is usually personal but can be more.
    "Can you pardon the Sister or Brother that lied, stole, or done you some wrong?" This is personal and depends upon the degree also.
     
  3. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

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    what brother keita said....
    that list is not a homogeneous mixture....
    all the different questions vary in level of severity....

    one love
    khasm
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hey Brothers Keita and Khasm ... i appreciate yall responding ... :love:

    I'm of the opinion that these are "little things" ... when looking at the big picture ... though difficult to overcome.

    Of course there are levels ... degrees of everything ... but most of us get stumped at the lowest levels.

    The evidence abounds ... for our people are killing each other ... babies dying daily ... all manner of chaos around us.

    It's because we can't get past this individual, low level, inability to pardon each other ... never realizing the collective greatness of doing so.

    If you can't pardon a Sister or Brother ... you're just not there yet ... and you can't pardon them.

    I'm kewl with that ... i understand it ... but if you can't issue out no pardons at high levels, don't be asking for them at high levels.

    Problem with that ... for me ... is that our people need the collective manifestation at every level ... so i'll be pushing in that direction ... :wink:

    You both can do all of the above and more ... and probably do ... on some level(s).

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  5. skuderjaymes

    skuderjaymes Contextualizer Synthesizer MEMBER

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    Peace Destee,

    Let me ask you one..

    Can you pardon the folks at R B Gtube.com, and allow us here to at least post links to videos on that site without getting this ***********??

    I know you guys fell out over something but they have material there that is not available on youtube or google..or vimeo... and since we're talking about pardoning brothers and sisters.. can you put your beef with A s s attaspeaks aside and show us how it's done? ;)
     
  6. Chevron Dove

    Chevron Dove Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Wow! There are a lot of circumstance here but most of them are very easy for me to say "yes" definitely. One reason why it's easy for me to say yes, is because I immediately think of myself doing those things that you have mentioned and I tell you, I can't be so sure of myself that I have not or would not have done some of those things to somebody else and therefore, it is my imperfections that make be always willing to 'turn the other cheek' and let some issues that I might have been angry about be put in the past.

    The one about 'violating', is one of the most profound questions put forth, but because I think everyone could probably respond to this, I will based on my feelings right now. The reason why I can give this one to God is because when my children were taken from me years ago, I died inside, and in order for me to cope with life, I had no choice but to pardon. When you are helpless, you don't even have a choice. So I did not focus on the perpetrators, I just regarded them as being 'wrong' and then I focused on any person that could help me prove my innocence. With this positive outlook, I won my case!!!!!!!!!! Now, I would never forget and try to stay away and keep my boundaries from those kind of people, but I definitely 'forgive them' because even now, i realize that when someone does something wrong, makes trespasses, they end up hurting themselves more than anyone else. And if I did not pardon, then I think I too would be messed up.

    I think the saying goes, to err is human but to forgive is divine.

    But i do want to say that, this pardoning is different on a governmental level.
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Skuder ... bless your heart ... great question!

    First, it's not the folk at the site, it's Brother Jacuma specifically that I had bad experiences with. It's weird to even be talking about this, because I haven't for many years, since June 2004. You won't find one negative word from me, about him, his site, endeavor, or any such thing. I could have built web pages highlighting the particulars from my point of view, like he did, but I never have. Not one word from me, negative, about that Brother.

    Yes, I pardoned him long ago. I had to, in order to authentically do what I'm doing here. How could I encourage you all to forgive each other, look over the disagreements and challenges, not tear each other down, all of that ... if I can't do it? That would make me appear hypocritical. It wasn't easy. It was very difficult, but I did it. One of the most challenging processes in all of these 15 years. I must say, Our Beloved Chief Elder Osiris gave me brief and great counsel during that time. Words that helped me take and remain on higher ground.

    That experience was personal, and I forgave him ... pardoned him ... on a personal level, inside myself.

    Now, when he left destee, put that forum up, I posted a link to it (at the very top of all of our pages), encouraging our Members to support him, join, etc. Even though things were as bad as they were between us, I wanted to do the right thing, support the Brother. That wasn't enough though, and ultimately after being inundated with all kinds of ugly, vicious attacks, I had to ban him. Even then his site(s) were still active here, but he wanted to spam us with them. That's against the rules, and the domains were deactivated.

    The levels of pardoning someone are varied, as has been mentioned. If it is your job, your responsibility to maintain a web site, manage a team, reach a goal, and folk are hindering that ... no matter how much you may personally want to pardon them ... (and I grapple with this often) ... there comes a point when you have to live up to the responsibility you have to the job, or relinquish it.

    Many sites have had their domain name deactivated, because of violating our rules. It's not personal. We've been here 14 years ... :) ... and I can't even name all of the sites that are currently deactivated from being linked here. If any of these sites have something you want to view on them, just go on over there.

    In addition, pardoning someone does not mean you have to immediately climb in bed with them, or drink from their cup, or trust them, or close your eyes to the reality of what's taken place. No. You don't have to do that. In fact, you should be very cautious if someone has already shown you how willing they are to hurt you. For example, someone violates you, totals your car ... you pardon them ... but it doesn't mean you have to hand them the keys to your other vehicle! If they prove themselves worthy of that level of trust again, sure, hand them the keys or whatever you have that will benefit them ... but trust and pardon are two different things.

    Brother Skuder ... this is a great question and lines up perfectly with this topic. I've been out here on this Internet for 15 years. Only Brother Jacuma and I know, what the truth really is. I determined years ago, that it would always be his word against mine, and folk would believe whatever they wanted. No matter what he or I put on the table, no one had first hand knowledge but us. I didn't fight that, wasn't going tit for tat, and never tried to turn anyone against him. My only defense against his false accusations then, and now, is my character, integrity, and reputation. I leave them to speak for me, and am confident they can. I have been consistent all the years, doing my best, and the evidence bears witness.

    That's why I think it's so terrible for us to disparage, diminish, attack each other ... because it's happened to me ... and I see it happening to many all over this Internet. Some won't be able to stand it, for it took everything in me and this community, to make it through that time. There's a Sister that started out doing videos, building with her people, loving, all of that ... and the negative forces out here ... from our people ... shut her down. Attacked her. Made her run. She closed up shop. She's gone. Her voice silenced ... and it's unfortunate we do that to each other, for there is enough room for all of us. I think that was the plan for me too, but I aint had sense enough to run ... :)

    All it takes is someone saying something negative, those listening don't know if it's true or not, but they'll be inclined to come to a conclusion. Even if they don't believe what they heard or read, they will think on it when they see that person again. The seed is planted. The cointelpro like act is complete, damage done, often at the hands of those who claim to love Black People the most. It's very unfortunate. We now do to each other, what they have historically done to us, and it's going to take much individual effort to turn the tide.

    You know how folk do, come to you and say, "Look Man, that Brother right there, he aint no good." Well, when folk come to me like that, I'm immediately suspicious of them. They are trying to plant a seed against another Black Person. Just because they had a bad experience with the Brother, doesn't mean you're going to. Yall may end up being the best of friends, supporting each other through life. Why would they hinder that great possibility, by planting a seed against him in you? Why? There must be some benefit in it for them, or at the very least, it's evidence of their maximized confusion ... claiming to love Black People while sowing seeds of dissent amongst Black People. Follow the logic. There's a reason folk do this, knowingly or unknowingly, and we should not be naive when we see it.

    If pardoning folk on this level, this low level, is difficult ... just wait ... it gets worse. Imagine sincerely pardoning a Brother or Sister inside yourself (with evidence demonstrated on the outside of yourself), a pardon they never requested, never thanked you for, as they continue to violate you! Do that one! It's an advance placement life lesson, with the prerequisite of being able to pardon on the lower level first. If that don't scare you, add that you're a woman, being attacked by men.

    Nobody said it would be easy, but I think it's worth it. I really believe in us. I believe we can overcome these things we do to each other, and heal ourselves. I believe this with my whole heart, and it's why I operate like I do, hoping to provide a living example of the ability that's in all of us.

    Yes, I've pardoned him inside myself, and the evidence is demonstrated outside of myself, for all to see.

    Thanks for asking ... :love:

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thank You Sister Chevron ... and yes ... pardoning on a government level is different ... i agree.

    I also agree that holding that stuff in you, not letting go of it ... not pardoning the other person ... will hurt you more than them.

    Along with all of the stresses life brings, we'll often add more to our own selves, by keeping the anger, disappointment, etc., festering inside.

    There's so many reasons to pardon ... forgive ... it's hard to understand how we've become so determined not to do that for each other.

    Thanks for Sharing!

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. Ms Drea

    Ms Drea STAFF STAFF

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  10. Ms Drea

    Ms Drea STAFF STAFF

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    I reckon..but I have a very good memory!!!
    Love & Blessings!!
    DREA
     
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