Black People : Can You Handle Probing Challenges To Your Commentary ?

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Destee, Mar 18, 2010.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Family,

    Can you handle hard hitting, probing challenges to your commentary?

    I absolutely love it! It's rare that I get it though, at the levels I enjoy most, and rarer still to have time to partake ... but i do love it.

    I think it provides me a great opportunity to learn some stuff I never knew, especially when someone can get me off my square. That's hot!

    Many of us though, seem to get offended if someone challenges what we've said, as if we could never be wrong, misinformed, etc.

    So I'm wondering, how do you all receive such challenges to what you share here ... is it kewl that others disagree with you?

    I've been disagreed with so much, challenged on so many things, that if it stopped I'd know something was wrong ... and immediately begin checking for a pulse! :)

    With the answers still pending, ones that satisfy all our collective needs, I think we must challenge each other ... the harder (respectfully of course) the better.

    We must at least begin to ask and answer the hard questions, there's just no time for tip-toeing around the elephants in the room, pretending we don't see them.

    I think it's an absolute great thing, when done respectfully, that provides great example for our youth.

    Anywho ... i was just wondering ... can you handle being challenged without taking it as a personal attack?

    For that matter ... can you challenge someone, without making it appear as a personal attack ... remaining focused only on the topic?

    I'd imagine the very best debaters must be able to do both these things ... must'n they? ... :)

    Looking forward to your responses.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    never did appreciate "playing the dozens".

    that "combat", regardless of how "civilized" it is, nor how "organized" the "debat[tl]e" is, is all from that place where "competition" has any validity in an environment that is all about cooperation between all components.

    that's the "disease", the "programming", the "brainwashing".

    it also helps immensely when there is any logic (pseudo/pop logic don't count) to the "probing challenge" as well as evidence of the "challenges" coming from the brain and not from the knee.
     
  3. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I can handle a challenging conversation. It doesn't bother me, but...Some people aren't challenging others on the topic, they try and challenge or mock your intelligence to make you feel inferior. Those conversations I resent.

    But I have been personally attacked. Called names, had people put down my posts, whatever. At the end of the day it's just a conversation on the internet. NOBODY on here knows me personally, nor do I know anyone else personally.

    But if I feel I am being attacked I'll laugh :SuN049:

    Some people on here lose their minds...I was reading some of the Support threads and how they get offended by all these other comments is beyond me. It's almost as if (no offense to the site) they are consumed by it. They go as far as to explain their reason for leaving the site...Like their putting their resignation letter in for a job or whatever....Is it that major? It's almost like they are crying behind the computer screen.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    It 's always to me a good civil brain kicker when challenge on something i may think i know
    most of the time i won't debate , just say what i think and move on if i'm question on it
    often i won't kick proof.....everyone has the rights to disagree it shows we have different
    ways of thinking and mind sets which makes it even sweeter and there are things i feel
    shouldn't be challenge or judge and there are things that drive me to go personal with a constructive
    mind set, but to challenge something i said is cool with me i don't take it personal.
     
  5. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Ohhhh ... let me add ... some of my best moments came from being challenged.

    There are some really smart, focused, on top of their game Sisters and Brothers here.

    Sister Purple has challenged me a time or two, making me see that I was wrong. That's a beautiful thing.

    If not for her challenge, I would have rode off into the sunset ... booty backwards ... :horse: :lol:

    I remember a challenge or two from Brother Kemetkind that made me take my thinking to a whole new level.

    Some challenges I received, were met with much resistance, only to find out too late they were right! ... and i had to suffer the consequences of it ... :eeek:

    I'm sure there have been more.

    If we're not open to challenges, there's probably little room for growth and learning.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  6. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I feel you on that , I too have been attacked personally by many here and
    not once did i take it personal , everyone has the rights to express and that's
    how i take the hits and keep moving , at the end of my day in the community
    i still go fast to sleep and not once even gave what someone feel about me a thought
    to debate it or challenge it , if i disagree i'll say it and keep going without a challenge
     
  7. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Great Response MY $$RICH$$NESSS ... :love:

    Sister MsInterpret ... i encourage you too, don't take the negative personal. In fact, I tend to apply it to that person's level of maturity ... a sign for me that they are not on my same debate level ... so I leave them where I found them ... debating with folk who will entertain such foolishness.

    Rise above it Sister, way above it! :wink:

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  8. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    lol...this is not to kiss anyone's butts or anything...At first when I read Destee talking about she wasn't going to babysit any more and would ban people...I was like WTH?! LOL...Then I read the support...and read everyone's moaning and whining I was like...WOW, are these really grown folks in here? I can see why...I mean dang, talk about people taking things "personal"...some of the complaints I could understand. But, when someone was challenging another member, you would have thought that someone shot someone's mama or something. And now I understand why you Destee and the mods go hard.
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I agree with you on that, but when my mind is made up a challenge is like air
    but i do take the time to weight out both sides to myself to see if i'm wrong
    or have a strong stance , if wrong i admit it , if i think i'm right i'll let it go and
    in my mind and heart hold my stance.

    Right to this day there a lot of thing i would love to challenge a few on , but
    to me it like starting trouble moreso then a challenge !
    this why i don't debate / judge / challenge or fight.........me ...I just let it ride AS IS.
     
  10. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I had the opportunity to see a fim of a Buddhist monastery in China after the fall of the bamboo curtain, and it showed the monks involved in a common and regular activity.
    Argueing and challenging one anothers understanding ofthe Dhammapada or analects of Buddha.
    I also noticed that orthodox rabbis would be involved in the same activities.

    Challenge is important to strengthen the mind, and also to make sure we are really clear on our issues, just as long as it does not become personal, or overly emotional, or vindictive
     
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