Black Relationships : Can we love the same?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by NNQueen, May 9, 2006.

  1. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Brothers/Sisters, so much has been discussed in this forum about relationships. The range of topics include sexuality, marriage, love, infidelity and the list goes on. One topic I don't recall ever being discussed here is our sisters/brothers with disabilities. According to the Americans with Disabilities Act, the definition of disbilities is somewhat broad, including mental. I'd like to focus on physical, sight and hearing and receive your thoughts.

    Would/could you ever be attracted to a Black person who was a wheelchair user, visually impaired or deaf? What about an amputee with a prosthesis?

    I can remember some years ago reading this story about a Black woman born with no arms and legs. She had hands that extended from her shoulders and nothing below her torso. She managed to get around quite well and seemed not to be bothered by her disability.

    She met a Black man who was a TAB (people with disabilities refer to the rest of us as "temporarily able bodied" because we're all an accident away from becoming like them). The couple got married and they gave birth to a child who she was able to take care of by using her mouth in ways that we use our hands.

    Could you be with a person with a disability either similar to the one described or different?
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I would humble say yes i could .

    why would i............because love wear no face , many and often these brothers & sistas
    are over looked because of their disabilities such as physically can't do what a normal
    woman / man or person can do, by the lost of sight / hearing or other physical means.
    What many people don't know that when one of the five senses are taken the other
    four become keen which help them provide for themselves , hearing lost they learn to
    speak in sign language i've see nothing wrong with mating with a mute /deaf or blind
    person , i know of a few relationships / marriages that has blossom from disabilities
    yes we can love just the same .
    Everything else is a mindful thing .
     
  3. abstract219

    abstract219 ...standing on the shoulders of giants MEMBER

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    I definitely could...in fact there is a sista who lives near me....on some days uses a motorized chair, some days her cane. But she is positively beautiful, always has the afro, the poncho and other afro/asian-centric gear on, and always reading (a major turn-on for me)...she has a problem with one leg, but it looks fine to me.

    I don't know whether that meets the terms of disability which we are discussing here, but she is just a very open-minded, diverse woman. I've discussed everything from the death penalty to rap videos to Impressionist art with her...

    I gave her a ride to the market one day...and found myself wondering about her sexually. But I didnt want to appear too condescending concerning her disability, wanted to treat her like a regular woman...so I asked her about it...I didnt ask her for some...I just commented on sex and people with disabilities...she just gave me a look, and laughed it off....but we still cool.

    Im amazed this topic came up...I needed to dump this somewhere...to me, people with disablities are just as normal as TAP...we all have some disablilty in some shape or form...some are just more exposed than others. Think of all the undiagnosed nut-cases running around in America today...or all the people with ailments they wont take care of...

    great topic, tho.
    Excellent topic.
     
  4. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'll be honest......it would be extremely difficult for me to accept a man with a disability, particularly physical, since I'm an outgoing person. Now if we were already together before the disasbility, I have his back all the way, the love has already been established. Choosing to date a man with a disability would depend heavily upon my dating options available. But hey, that's JMHO.
     
  5. Bisabee

    Bisabee Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    There is such a wide range of disabilities, but yes, I could love a disabled man and would actively pursue a relationship with this type of man--depending on his disability.
     
  6. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If it happened after we met and fell in love, yes absolutely. If she is like that when we first met, I'd have to say no.
     
  7. MississippiRed

    MississippiRed Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would like to be able to sit here and say definitively yes I could and would but that wouldn't be true to myself.....I'm not that deep or good a person I know without a shadow of a doubt that I couldn't and wouldn't .....not to be funny but I can't even talk to a woman that has a limp or something minor...
    MississippiRed
     
  8. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Sister Queenie, this is a question I've posed to myself on a thousand ocassions in my life, and I still dont' have a definitive answer... I think it has to HAPPEN to you first, before you can truly answer the question in the affirmative... As you said, we're all just one step away from being disabled...

    Disabled actually means a lot of different things, and range from, say a vision impairment to the scenario you mentioned, so it's a tricky question most of us aren't qualified to answer until we are THERE... What happens to the relationship we had with our able-bodied and wonderfully sexy partner before we had that fire, or that car accident that crippled and burned them??? Is the love that strong that we will stick with them through it all????




    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  9. spicybrown

    spicybrown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    If there is a minor learning disability, I wouldn't trip, I have the brains. As long as his disability doesn't affect his common sense decision making. Love is love though, to each his own.:love:
     
  10. cursed heart

    cursed heart Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I never thought about this before.
     
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