Can We All Just Get Along?

Discussion in 'Violators and Violations (Possible Ones)' started by soulosophy, Jun 21, 2009.

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  1. soulosophy

    soulosophy Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    With the warmth of these words I'm sending love and positive energies of light.

    I tried to post in the thread Why Bro Street Soja Banned? but the thread was closed.

    I’m not one to be 'inna-inna' and attempt to divorce myself from drama and machinations as I don’t have time for some of the foolishness I’ve seen displayed here on the site, and I’m not trying to be “best friends” with everyone...lol. But as Bro Nasheed said there are some good peeps that are here to learn and grow and not to allow the negative to drive us away.

    Anyway, there’s something wrong with this picture (Bro Street Soja Banned) that kinda disturbs my spirit for what reasons I'm not entirely sure yet but feel I have no choice but to speak on it.

    Sis Destee, you’ve expressed several times about how family have their disagreements etc but will work them out yet you permanently ban Bro Street, who from what I’ve seen is about learning and growing, and has been loyal to this community for 10 years? That’s a mighty long time. Yet newcomer Sis CherryBlossom, only probably been here a short time yet manages to cause much disruption and disharmony among certain members whom are now banned? I’m sorry but it doesn’t balance out to me [scratches head].

    From what I’ve seen/read Bro Street was trying to work it out with you, perhaps refusing to remain passive in his discomfort of not being made to feel afraid to voice his concerns at the risk of being suspended perhaps but not permanently banned, but from what I’ve seen, many times you didn’t like his views and just blatantly dismissed what he was trying to express and then banned him? I can comprehend why Bro Street was so hurt and lashed out as he did and why you permanently banned him, as Sis TTTC wisely expressed “Hurt people hurt people”.

    When one finds oneself with insufficient emotional skills to deal with a situation, the normal reaction is to "attack" or to "flee". One usually flees when one desires not to wound or injure the other, or wishes to escape the shame or embarrassment of being seen as lacking qualifications to function on a particular level. When one attacks, he/she imagines that they have been insulted, injured or is being attacked, and they spare no verbal or physical energies to defend and protect what they view as his/her own sacred possessions and to destroy the adversary.

    Sis Destee, you and I don’t always see eye to eye but its never gotten to the point of our disrespecting one another. So I know we both have the ability to communicate effectively and rationally. But many times people, as well as ourselves, will take things way out of context, plus the fact that the language of words, and especially English, is often confusing and often ambiguous.

    But who among us is flawless, unblemished and blessed with the illusion of perfection? Who has silenced his devious demons that bark like dogs from deep within the heart's deepest dungeons? We are forever tested with other people’s attitudes, tried with obstacles, with trials and tribulations, even failures to show that we are sincere, dedicated and determined in our goals.

    An old song that goes, "You always hurt the one you love," but it can also go, "The one you love always hurts you." You are both reflections of one another. Perhaps you both have rebellious and proud spirits not to be overthrown or captured. Oftentimes we don’t like to hear certain things that we feel challenges who we are. But we each have to learn to listen, to go away and reflect, and to humble ourselves. Perhaps you both have a sharp tongue with the aggression and persistence of a pack of hungry hounds in debates or whatever…lol. But we should not shun criticism or disagreement and get angry, but welcome it and see argument and/or debate, as an intellectual exercise, not as an opportunity to pout and scream if our views are not accepted. As an artist (poet and writer), it is the breath of life. How else does one grow and learn the secrets of the heart. How can one say one loves but yet seeks to silence the voice of the Beloved?

    Love, Peace!
     
  2. MRS. LADY

    MRS. LADY Banned MEMBER

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    Ma'at Hotep Sister Soulousophy

    I just have one thought to add... and I mean it in no disrespectful way toward Sister Destee.. I hope you Sister Destee won't look at it as such..

    but I felt DSS pain as well...

    What bothered me was the way you excercised your authority ..

    u bann'd him and then was like "next"....

    In spider man .... I ponder that statement... "with great power comes great responsibility.."

    perhaps DSS was having a tantrum but doesn't his pain warrant a lil patience and understanding..

    I mean Br Rich (no pun intended, and please everyone this is not an invitation to fuel that fire) but Sister Destee.. u told me when i had an opinion with regard to that situation.. that since we don't know what it feels like to be a black man we should be a lil more understanding and empathetic and not want the brother's head on a platter...

    so why not the same love toward so'ja?

    I'm certain that there is a lot more to it then what we are all aware of but just in the generic how come the difference in treatment of two who we love?

    thank you.
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Soulosophy ... i appreciate you sharing your thoughts on the Brother DSS banning, but the decision has been made, and it's final.

    I realize that everyone may have an opinion regarding what took place, but everyone doesn't have the responsibility to insure that peace is maintained in this community. Unfortunately, no matter what i / we do, there will be some that don't agree. There's just no getting around that, it's going to happen, as evidenced by this very thread.

    I did close all of the threads associated with this topic specifically, because ... again ... it's my job to maintain the peace ... and since the decision has been made, and it is final, i just see no reason to continue going on and on about it.

    This one community, no matter how hard we try, will never be able to satisfy all Black People. It just won't happen. I was very disappointed to learn this, early in the beginning years, but it is the truth. There will be some that won't respect what this community's purpose is, or the decisions surrounding how we go about insuring that we stay true to that.

    All i can say, is Thank God there are a gazillion other sites on the Internet.

    I have seen many more than Brother DSS leave here, angry with me. It is not new. I think it just goes with the territory. Someone has to be the fall guy, the person to blame, etc., and i don't mind being that. Blame me if you must, that's fine.

    I love Brother DSS and every Member that has ever joined and shared here respectfully with us. While i'm somewhat surprised that our particular interaction, after so many years, ended this way, i do not take it personal. I've learned that some things are just going to happen, things that you don't like, but must deal with anyway. I let Brother DSS go on and on about his dissatisfaction with me, this community, etc., but no matter who it is ... that must end at some point. While i gave him the opportunity to end it himself (several times), he chose rather to continue, and so i had to end it.

    I'd do the same no matter who the Member was. In fact, i think he was allowed to go on a bit more than most. It matters not how long someone has been here, or any such thing as that ... no one is going to be allowed to disrupt our peace continually, ignore warnings, etc.

    I'm just not going to let that happen here Sister, by anyone.

    It's not personal at all. In fact, there are probably lots of people here, that don't like me or the way i / we manage this community, but they are still able to come, share respectfully, all of that. If he had been able to pull that off, he'd still be here too, feeling the way he does about me ... and i'd have no problem with it.

    I'm going to go ahead and close this thread, along with the other one that did get posted ... because it's over ... the decision has been made, is final, and anyone really upset with the way i do ... the way i manage this community ... has options ... other sites they can visit ... and i will respect such choices / decisions ... truly.

    Again ... thanks for sharing.

    This thread is closed.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Sister Miss Lady ... for the record, the Brother $$RICH$$ and Brother DSS situations were different.

    $$RICH$$ was accused of violating the rules, admitted his wrong, apologized, and has given us none of that any more.

    DSS was accused of violating the rules, and basically said he'd do what he wants here, when he wants. He continued to be disruptive, was even suspended for it, came back with the same negative energy, refusing to take heed to any of the warnings, or to stop violating.

    Those are two different scenarios.

    Any Member, if found guilty of violating our rules, and ceases from doing that thing, has no need to worry about being banned.

    We are patient, loving, and kind, providing room for us all to work out the differences in the best of manners.

    Most of us are in pain, and can't go on and on being disruptive, throwing tantrums as you say, with no consequence.

    $$RICH$$ did not continue violating ... and therein lies the difference.

    This thread is still closed.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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