Quiet Poetry Lounge : can i

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by THA HOOKUPMAN, Nov 8, 2004.

  1. THA HOOKUPMAN

    THA HOOKUPMAN Banned MEMBER

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    can i
    three hundred miles separate us
    every time i see you i create us
    from the essence of everything
    i hope for
    form you from the substance of everything
    i pray for
    loving U is why i live
    but loving you is
    what i was made for
    from hours that felt like seconds
    i remember you
    mimicking leaves
    i fall to your feet
    in the september of you
    build castles from the snow
    in the december of you
    in the spring sing your praises
    as our castles disappear into the soil
    feeding flowers that sneak into view
    every morning i awake with a desire to
    conquer the distance between us
    just to place a rose at your door
    each time with a card that read
    i wanted to write what i felt but
    it was much too hard
    until one day/the card will read
    these are questions to give you an idea
    of what i'm trying to say
    i hope not of place but can i
    pour you into a glass of forever to
    see what you taste like
    undress your soul/so i can
    know what look like
    let your heart pump blood through me so i can
    understand what you feel/like you understand
    what you feel/can i steal
    your worries and your fears
    analyze them and break them and break them down until
    i know what the beginning of your tears sounds like
    can i/write a poem across your favorite star
    for you to read at night
    maybe find a dragon to slay or giant to fight
    for the chance you might touch my face
    maybe find a trace of what you dream of
    possibly fall in loveforever young
    years melting like honey on the tongue
    versus of serenity flying on angels wings
    life becomes sweeter as i
    sip your lips in rhythm to life's perfect meter
    i remember going to sleep to give you my rib
    can i be
    the ink flowing from your pen because
    poetry is the heart's song and we must sing to live
    if everything is right
    can we create life
    can i watch you
    breast feed our seed as we
    reminisce on the bliss that created him
    as we rock him to sleep
    in hours too late to be day
    and too early to be night
    can i hold you
    with arms and eyes tight
    until
    age takes my strength
    time takes my sight
    and my lungs can no longer
    hold the breath of life
    can i
     
  2. naujae

    naujae Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I like that it makes my heart melt or was that the wetness from my legs
     
  3. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thank you :heart:

    You burn my candle...

    ...at both ends (Millay)

    ~A~ ​
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    awesome drop HOOKUP u master this well
     
  5. sevens_love

    sevens_love Active Member MEMBER

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    this is just awesome...it made me want to cry and think of the lovely things I want to do for my Love
     
  6. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Can you delve deep within someone's soul, and capture enough to calm the fire that stirs within you? Whew...I hope you can brotha. This one make a person have to catch their breath. Wow.....
     
  7. deepy

    deepy going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    okay hookupman...
    you are definitely hooked up.....
     
  8. daroc

    daroc Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thats was so beautiful
     
  9. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I had to re-read this…and yet I find that I am still utterly speechless…
    …unable to pull any combination of words together…No matter how beautiful the arrangement to compare to this live portrait of a heart physically on paper…beating incessantly of a shared affection…infectious with passion and terms of endearment that leave me speechless after every line….I’m gasping...hoping to find myself as I become winded and blown away after each poignant confession that falls from your pen…As if, I really thought I could handle reading this once…but no…I’ve read it a million times over and replayed the lines…and images scribed…because each time you write…the words become seared, burned, etched…and branded into my heart…so deep that they beckon me to speak…candidly as I am now…*whew*…ok

    Ima stop…lol
    And go pray for myself…I need it after a strong mixed drink like this here…

    …in a drunken stupor :bowdown:
    Yours,
    Sage
     
  10. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I gotta say, brotha, I am speechless. The imagery - 'can I write a poem across your favorite star' for example - is unbelievable. Your mind works in amazing ways. Mad, mad, mad respect for this piece. Wow.