There are nights where I can feel everything all at once; where everything that was hidden in the sun, comes alive during the night. And when I look around my room, the colors of my soul are being displayed, and there’s a strong love that fills the air. And then I think of her smile, and the way her eyes are joy to my life…and then, I begin to write Writing about the pain, about what I hope to gain Pounding on this keyboard just to prove to myself I’m sane Some people think Depression is a sign of weakness but to me it means you’re strong Cause you’ve been carrying this load for far too long And I find myself looking at photos to hold on to what you knew to be true Because the moments in them never change but the people often do And she was good to me by teaching me in order to love someone else First I must learn to love myself And I loved the way she held her head up high Because darling, someone as lovely as her should only carry happiness inside There have been dozens of women who took my breath away which may be hard to believe But there has been only one who reminds me that I need to breathe And I can’t move on to something new Cause every thought I have somehow leads back to you Yet accepting what my life has become is rough Because I gave you all of me, but even that wasn’t enough Can you see me trying to hide all the darkness flowing and growing inside The laugh to give the appearance that everything is fine and you still have your pride While trying to hide all your problems with a smile Do you know it that I’m broken inside and it’s been a while And I’m just to afraid to let someone help me because I’ve been hurt to many times before To the point where I just can’t take it anymore So I must save myself I can’t count on anyone else So I tell myself I’m beautiful, but not in the way you might think Some days I refused to taste sadness even when that is the only thing I had left to eat And now I had to close my heart and leave you outside Because loving you was leading me to commit suicide The most pleasant way of self-destruction was to love you And I guess I have to give that up too Missing you became part of me So for me to stop missing you, I must stop being myself entirely But I can’t Imagine a life filled with so much pain So for me it’s a lesson learned for the next love I gain The sound of the rain makes me miss her even more than I usually do. While normal people are all wrapped up in blankets and their lovers arms I am just wishing she were here. It makes me miss her because while the rain is keeping me up she is at home fast asleep. Oh what I’d give up to be in her arms tonight. The sound of rain is making my heart ache because it’s like the sky is crying. And I understand how the clouds must be feeling since I am crying too.