Black Relationships : Buying a house before marriage?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Princess, Nov 11, 2004.

  1. Princess

    Princess Active Member MEMBER

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    What would you do if your man told you that he wants to buy a house before you too can get married?
    Reason#1: Tried of stuff being in storage and all over the place.
    Reason#2: Tried of living apart from each other.
    Reason#3: Tried of paying rent for 2 locations when it can be poured into a home.
    Reason#4: Wants to save for the wedding/honeymoon after the purchase of the house.
    Reason#5: The commitment!

    What would you do? Do you think that these are legitimate reasons for buying a house before marriage? Or would you have your spouse to sign a promise-to-marry Affidavit first?
     
  2. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    if you have all these doubts, DON'T GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  3. CarrieMonet

    CarrieMonet Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would not be buying a house with a roommate...and until you're married, that is all you would be legally. Property and money aren't things to play with.
     
  4. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    ......is insanity!
     
  5. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Princess....I have actually been in a very similiar situation in the past. Not sure if I want to get into it at this time, but... bottom line is, my ex was very concerned about us being able to buy a house, he thought that this was very important, and wanted us both to work toward that end. At the time though, I too had some questions about where he was coming from with this. Turns out, we got married first, but I feel he would have married me even if we would have gotten a house first. But this is all hindsight. I suggest that you talk to your man some more, you may never actually know, but perhaps he can put some of your uncertainties to rest.
     
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    The Answer and not an opinion


    Princess absolutely, positively should you NOT buy a house with a man before you get married. If you want to buy a house on you own that's fine but not with a man before you're married. For all the excuses your man gave you to buy a house here are some reasons not to.

    1. If things don't work out between you two and you leave he could damage your credit if the house goes into foreclosure.

    2. If things don't work out between you two and he leaves then you may be stuck with a mortgage you can't afford by yourself.

    3. If things don't work out between you two and you both decide to sell the house and neither one of you occupy the house then you'll be paying half a mortgage and rent for your new place until the house gets sold.

    Bottomline here is, if you do this you'll be on the fast track to financial ruin. Me and my wife got married signed a one year lease for a very affordable apartment and in that year save enough money to buy a house and new funiture. Here's an idea, tell your man to take that closing cost money for this house you're planning to buy and use it for a simple inexpensive wedding and plan your honeymoon later. Me and my wife have been married for 3 years and next year were going on a 7 day cruise for our honeymoon. Sweetheart I know you love this man but don't put the cart before the mule like old folks say. Think about the worse case scenerio and ask to yourself if you have more to lose than to gain.

    Peace & Love Sister

    Radical Faith
     
  7. Princess

    Princess Active Member MEMBER

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    Your right Radical Faith and that's what i told him, but in his mind he's fixed on buying the house first then planning a big wedding/honeymoon. I told him that i didn't feel right in doing this the backwards way and i need confirmation first. Thanks for your input. :welldone:
     
  8. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Another solution

    If he is set on buying a house than that is fine he can buy one on his own and set up for you all. Then you can have a small inexpensive wedding in the backyard. Do not move in until you two are married and don't give him money to get the house. If he does it on his own you will have more respect for him and worst case scenerio if you two don't make it then he will be a homeowner.

    Peace

    Radical Faith
     
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