Black People : Bullying

Discussion in 'Black People Open Forum' started by Amnat77, Mar 10, 2011.

  1. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group) , thus an "imbalance of power".[2] The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.

    Bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Although the UK currently has no legal definition of bullying,[3] some US states have laws against it.[4]

    Bullying ranges from simple one on one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more 'lieutenants' who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse.[5] Robert W. Fuller has analyzed bullying in the context of rankism.

    Bullying can occur in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, family, the workplace, home and neighborhoods. It is even a common push factor in migration. Bullying can exist between social groups, social classes and even between countries (see Jingoism). In fact on an international scale, perceived or real imbalances of power between nations, in both economic systems and in treaty systems, are often cited as some of the primary causes of both World War I and World War II. [6] [7] Put simply, historically and from this perspective, certain international 'bullying' between nations is seen as having resulted in at least two very major and costly international

    Bullying is an act of repeated aggressive behavior in order to intentionally hurt another person, physically or mentally. Bullying is characterized by an individual behaving in a certain way to gain power over another person.[8]

    Norwegian researcher Dan Olweus defines bullying as when a person is

    "exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons." He defines negative action as "when a person intentionally inflicts injury or discomfort upon another person, through physical contact, through words or in other ways".[9]


    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying
     
  2. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    1) How do bullies select their targets?

    The bully selects their target using the following criteria:

    * bullies are predatory and opportunistic - you just happen to be in the wrong place at the wrong time; this is always the main reason - investigation will reveal a string of predecessors, and you will have a string of successors
    * being good at your job, often excelling
    * being popular with people (colleagues, customers, clients, pupils, parents, patients, etc)
    * more than anything else, the bully fears exposure of his/her inadequacy and incompetence; your presence, popularity and competence unknowingly and unwittingly fuel that fear
    * being the expert and the person to whom others come for advice, either personal or professional (ie you get more attention than the bully)
    * having a well-defined set of values which you are unwilling to compromise
    * having a strong sense of integrity (bullies despise integrity, for they have none, and seem compelled to destroy anyone who has integrity)
    * having at least one vulnerability that can be exploited
    * being too old or too expensive (usually both)
    * refusing to join an established clique
    * showing independence of thought or deed
    * refusing to become a corporate clone and drone


    http://www.bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm
     
  3. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,346
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Ratings:
    +1,812
    Who here meets all these lofty criteria for which they are being targeted?
     
  4. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    Bob Marley - Who The Cap Fit

     
  5. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,346
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Ratings:
    +1,812
    Folks who are REALLY bullied are very much like young children who are molested; they are often too intimidated to speak on their ordeal---otherwise it's not bullying.
     
  6. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    How To Respond To An Adult Bully:


    Often people have the idea that "bullying" is something which only occurs amongst some children until eventually they grow out of this behaviour. But - unfortunately - this isn't always true. Adults can be just as capable of employing bullying tactics as any young child or teenager. If you suspect either yourself or anyone else you know is on the receiving end of bullying from an adult, here are some suggestions on how to respond to them.


    # Remember that this is not your fault. If you've been on the receiving end of bullying treatment from an adult for some time it's possible that you will be blaming yourself for how this person has reacted to you. However this is not true. Everyone is responsible for how they choose to treat others. This can be a lot easier said than done. Particularly if the bully has aroused strong feelings of anger in you. However, a reaction such as this will only prove to the bully that he/she has succeeded in getting to you - which is what they want. Bullies feed off negative emotions, because deep down in some way they feel inferior/insecure about themselves and it's only by making others feel bad that they can raise their self esteem. Reacting to a bully in this kind of way is likely to only further encourage and possibly worsen their unwanted behaviour towards you. The adult bully is a coward.


    2
    See if killing them with kindness helps. This doesn't always work. But in circumstances when you've not long known the bully (such as if for example you've just been introduced to them at work) it can. Often what inspires a bully to be nasty towards others is an assumption that their target is a threat towards them in some way, as well as an experience of a lack of kindness from others throughout their lives. By demonstrating that you don't intend harm towards them and are willing to be friendly, this can encourage more positive responses from them. This might be anything from a friendly good morning 'hello' to an offer of help with something. However, if after trying this 2-3 times they still continue with their behaviour cease this approach. This won't work on every bully, and being nice to them every time they choose to bully you is likely to send the message you are rewarding their behaviour/find it acceptable.
    #
    3
    Try assertive responses against the bully . Examples of this could include assertive body language (looking the bully firmly in the eye while standing straight), an assertive tone of voice (clear and firm without sounding threatening) and assertive choice of words such as "I've recently noticed signs that you are trying to bully me and want this behaviour to stop." That said, choosing an appropriate assertive behaviour will - to a certain extent - be dependent on the specific bullying situation. What might be effective in a work bullying situation might not work so well in a family or cyber bullying situation. See the related wikihow article on being assertive to get a few ideas.

    http://www.wikihow.com/Respond-to-an-Adult-Bully
     
  7. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,346
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Ratings:
    +1,812
    I guess the point was missed. Bullies, be they adult or child, know who they can or cannot pick on. Therefore, people who are REALLY victims rarely say anything---which is what typically makes them victims to begin with. The bully is picking up on something in their character or spirit that is sending signals that they will tolerate what's coming. It is true that it may stem from some insecurity. It can be done physically or through psychological intimidation, including, but not limited to, transparent tactics such as attempting to levy bogus claims of victimization to garner undue sympathy in an attempt to 'gang up on' an intended victim.
     
  8. Amnat77

    Amnat77 Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Dec 11, 2006
    Messages:
    5,428
    Likes Received:
    2,620
    Occupation:
    professional.
    Location:
    UK..not for long
    Ratings:
    +2,622
    I NEVER miss a point..but you on the hand....

    I am glad you finally answered your OWN question for once though...
     
  9. Blaklioness

    Blaklioness Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2005
    Messages:
    3,346
    Likes Received:
    1,809
    Ratings:
    +1,812
    lol...k...anyhoo...




     
  10. cherryblossom

    cherryblossom Banned MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2009
    Messages:
    19,252
    Likes Received:
    5,505
    Gender:
    Female
    Ratings:
    +5,560
Loading...