Black Men : Brothers: How do you intend to raise your daughters?

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by panafrica, Jul 13, 2005.

  1. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Reading the number of messages over the past few days about what African American women of today lack, I'm reminded of one particular verse in Naz's "If I ruled the world". Specifically I think of the line, "more conscious in the way we raise our daughters". Indeed if our women of today are lacking in anything, undoubtedly it is in large part because of a lack of conscious unbringing from their fathers. For those brothers who have daughters (which includes myself), how do you intend to raise them? What will you do to ensure they are not lacking in a way that today's women are?
     
  2. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    First of all I would raise my daughters to believe that a lot of these brothers that claim they are lacking, are really lacking much in themselves.

    I would secondly raise her to be indepdent and a solution provider and team member to her mate. She will be an asset, not an ******* to the one who marries her.

    I would also celebrate her beauty throught her entire life, alot of women are scarred psychologically because they think they are ugly this or ugly that. I will be the first one to let her know she is beautiful inside and out, before Lathario does.

    Last but not least, I will support her in all of her endeavours, and I will give her the keys to the world, but I will let her choose what door she wants to venture into...

    (Easier said than done huh?)
     
  3. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    No I wouldn't say that is easier said than done brother Man. You are saying that you would love and support your daughter....provide her with self-confidence. That is the same thing I'm doing with my daughter. I also intend to be the type of man I want her to be with. A young ladies 1st opinion of a man is her father. If her father is absent, running the streets, cheating & beating on her mother, unemployed, untrustworthy, etc....her opinion of men has an unstable foundation.
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Well, I have a daughter and I make sure that she knows that she's beautiful. I know she is already (at the age of 6) being bombarded with images of a white Barbie, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White and all that other racist white crap. These things are going through her head everyday. I want to make sure that she always sees the beauty in herself no matter what type of images they push on her. Even when I see toys that also come in an African American version, I always make sure I compliment the African American version (not the white one) and I try and make sure she chooses that one if she wants a toy or something. I also buy her story books that depict black people in a positive light. I don't want her to feel that she needs to look to these knucklehead, sad excuse for black men that we have today. I'm still depating on the right time to start talking about white supremacy and racism. This is the hard part for me. I don't want to turn her into a hate-filled young lady, but I also want to be truthful, since I know noone else is going to be straight-up with her regarding what's going on in this country. I think her mom will, but only to a certain extent.
     
  5. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Pan, I've already raised my daughters, 3 to be exact, and they're all doing well... I was their example of what a man should be, getting up to work everyday, being polite and respectful of my fellow human beings, a lover of my people and my culture, a reader who kept great books in my library for them to read, and great music to listen to... Mostly, I never raised my voice to my ex in their presence, and rarely to them after a certain age...

    The greatest thing I ever taught them was to respect themselves, but the unique manner in which I did it should be put in a book... First and foremost, brother mister Pan Africa(know you're gone be a good dad, too)children, male or female, need love, support, hugs, kisses, and encouragement... They need to know that they will always be SUPPORTED by their parents, LOVED by their Parents, and unconditionally! If my daughters didn't get a 100% on their tests, I still loved and hugged 'em, and treated 'em as if that 85 or 90 was just what I wanted in all the world, brother... I let them know I was pleased with their honest strivings to be their very best... So what they fell short of 100%, tomorrow was a new day for them to work toward that...

    And you know, brother, that psychology worked for me, because they went out of their way to get that praise from papa, to see that smile on my face, that was their reward I gave them for trying their very best... SUPPORT of your baby girls means they will not grow up with these stupid esteem issues...

    My girls are all chocolatas, and they're all kinda tall like their mother... By the grace of God I determined that I would not allow them to be messed up in the head as their mom had been as a child... I took a solemn vow that I would not let her subliminally mess my babies up with her madness either... I think I did a fine job with them, too - with my ex's help, of course(smile!)

    I have never failed to tell them how doggoned beautiful I think they are - so much so that sometimes they just call me before a test or job interview to get an uplifiting message... They know they'll get one from me, before they get one from their mom.. I am unrelenting in that area with anyone I love, so my children got mad spoiled, and I don't regret it..

    Pan Africa, here is one of our major problems in Black America, and that is why I am a little upset with some of my brothers pointing the finger at sisters... It is NOT that I think African women are perfect(forget about it!)... It is that I KNOW brothers aint perfect! Sisters, at least, are there to rear our children... Where you at, bruh???? Oh, they stop by from time to time to beg for a dollar or two, some nookie, if you please...

    How do we alight such a flight of grandeur in the face of our many inadequacies as men??? Sisters have to deal with White Supremacy like we do... Why in hell are they the only ones raising our babies??? Until we get that aspect worked out, Pan, it will be most hard to raise our male or female children with a great sense of African Consiousness... Children aint dumb and stupid... They can tell when a fraud is being perped on 'em...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  6. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Thanks for sharing!
     
  7. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good...keep it coming!
     
  8. Ralfa'il

    Ralfa'il Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I want a lot of daughers and probably only 2 or 3 sons just to pass on the family name and legacy.
    I'm also seriously considering adopting many of my children.

    I'll be tough with my sons but I intend to spoil thee HELL out of my daughters!

    All of them will be "daddy's little girl".


    But I'll still be a morally strict father guarding my daughters carefully on what they wear, what they say, how they behave, and who they associate with.

    I'll be raising a crowd of little ladies in my house.
     
  9. Akilah

    Akilah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Your daughters are so very blessed to have a father like you... :luvv:
     
  10. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Why thank you Lady from Da Gump by way of Michigan!!!(smile!)

    I bet your father feels the same way about you as a daughter???(smile!) I know we're all very blessed that you're a member of this forum...(smile!)

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
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