Black Men : Brothers - Can You Discuss Your Collective Failures? - (Only Brothers Post Please)

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by Destee, Mar 9, 2010.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Peace and Blessings Brothers,

    Can you discuss your collective failures without mentioning Sisters?

    That is the challenge of this thread ... so please ... stay very focused ... this is about Brothers and their collective failures.

    For the sake of this discussion, collective failure could mean any thing, choice, or decision that Brothers do or make specifically, that impacts our people negatively.

    I think it's important for each group of us to be able to do this, independent of the other, and have started a like thread for Sisters.

    Please don't post in theirs, and i'm asking them not to post in yours.

    Remember, this is about Brothers, not Sisters, so please stay focused.

    I'm really looking forward to your perspective on the collective failures.

    Of course you're welcome to say Brothers have no collective failures, if that's what you think.

    It will be interesting to see how many things match in each thread (i.e. Sisters see it in themselves, and Brothers see it in themselves).

    Correcting our collective failures requires identifying them, and i hope this effort leads us in that direction.

    Love You and Thanks in Advance!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Collective Failures

    I've had my share of bad choices made from my inner ego that have hunted me down, as a man collectively
    i've failed to be that husband which left me single and a father , men have a way of not showing there inner being
    romanticly , yet while men who come short of being fully responsible for many actions we take in life
    men as well myself has had breakdowns when it came to home fronts and family but through the course of action
    I've learn to man up and take on whatever i face and not hide behind my ego and manhood
    I think brothers as like taken steps one at a time but sometime we can rush in beyond thinking or being mindful
    another collective failure i had to eat was putting a group of men in the same hub to create what i called
    Young Family in the mix of it we became forceful / disagreeing / fighting and pulling against one another
    it was destruction at it's best , I have gotten with some close brothers on weekends some years back
    only to do what many men have done .....cheat .....stay out and in return who was hurt by it
    yeap ya right !
    But to really talk about collective failure it's hard not to mix the two collectively where there are parts and roles
    each play , failure to me have a wide scope of many things reasons and places see the word failure
    is like a noun to me persons / places or things collective is like an open images trying
    to group self into one
    which has been a failure through course of action and none-productive.

    surely i will add more and go deeper at a later time .....
     
  3. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brothers tend to:

    Confuse aggression and anger for strength.
    Be too defensive and sensitive to words.
    Not encourage each other to do positive things.
    Place looking cool above being responsible.
    Mistake making bad decisions for being "rebellious/revolutionary."
    Run from commitment.
    Have jobs instead of careers and own property.
     
  4. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Black men pride our selves as being warriors, but we have failed collectively to defend our families aginst attacks from outsiders. We continually fail to work together to solve problems plaguing our families and communities and fail to collectively develop a self-critical perspective which would enable us to problem solve in our collective best interests. Thats all I have to say on this...
     
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  5. Kemetstry

    Kemetstry going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I helped cofound a city wide mentoring and tutorial program in my city. ( Detroit ) I did it because I grew up seeing the men in my neighborhood(s) do the same as I grew up. I dont see the men in my city doing this on any scale, today

    We have committed the unpardonable sin of forgetting where we came from. Most of us did not come from ritzy suburbs. We got a few bucks and left the hood. Furthermore, we didnt reach back and bring at least one out with us

    Said nothing as BET/hip hop videos destroyed an entire generations minds

    Said nothing as education stopped being preached from the pulpit. Moreover, we allowed the pusuit of education to be viewed as acting white

    Dont vote

    Encouraged Mookism by commission and ommission

    Allowed derogatory myths to be spread about us without challenge

    Not shunning the scum in our lives, especially family

    After listening to real black men say drugs were death, defend blunts. Then blame the white man when the test comes back positive and the job offer doesnt come

    There was a time when most of us wouldnt be caught dead with a skank. Then blame the skank for all the bad stuff that happens to us later

    Demanding what we want and begging for what we need

    Not teaching our children that Jim Crow aint dead

    Allowing a matriarchal society to take hold


    ....more later


    :geek:





    :em0200:


     
    Last edited: Jun 24, 2016
  6. Radical Faith

    Radical Faith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Good afternoon brothers and sisters

    After being away for a while it is good to see we are still engaged in spirited conversation and discuss. With that said to answer your questions I think the key to what you ask lays in the word collective. One of the things we must realize is though we share ancestry we don't all share culture, philosophy and ideology. Therefore not all of us represent each other. The question has been asked, am I my brothers keeper? Reality is many of my brothers don't want to be kept. Therefore many of us are very different. Because we have been generalized, vilified and stained by the actions of a few in the eyes of those who oppose us we all are the same. I am not perfect and have made mistakes. However I can't not expect my mistakes to be indicative of all Black men. Just like I don't expect the mistakes of other Black men to reflect my actions. We are brothers but we still have individuality as well. In this individuality we have individual responsibility as well as collectively ones. Collectively responsibilities are not set in stone. They are mostly unspoken rules. They are debatable. Our individual responsibilities are not debatable.


    Is it up to me to police my brother? Somewhat. Out of compassion many of us call our brothers out when they are wrong. Still that's as much as we can legally do. We can't make another man desire the right things. Where we can make a difference is with our sons and young men. It is our responsibility to carry ourselves in a way that should be emulated by our sons and young men. Still our sons are individuals. We as men can do all the right things and still it's a possibility that our young ones can turn out to be irresponsible. When that happens as sad as it is we must learn to be content with our actions.


    One thing we must walk away from here understanding is we are not all the same. This fact is reflective of this site. There are brothers here of all walks. Embracing the fact that we are different goes a long way to establish peaceful existence. We can then embrace and come to terms with our commonality. Still there will be brothers who differences will outweigh their commonality. For example I as a husband and father don't represent pimps, drug dealers, deadbeats and etc. These men don't represent me. I don't appreciate being lumped in with these underachievers simply because we share the same race. This is where we go awry speaking in terms of collectivism because reality dictates our state of being.


    So back to the question. I think what we are questioning or exploring is taking individual responsibility for our actions. This means doing some introspection and coming clean without bringing anyone into the equation. This is not a collective thing. As I previous said there are plenty of brothers that don't represent me. Their failures are not my failures nor are my failures the responsibilities of my brothers. We can't expect the same thing within a blood family much less across the diaspora.


    What I will say is those of us who are on a correct path must recognize the pervasive culture of irresponsibility among Black men and not let that culture grow and infiltrate other cultures of Black men. The fact is there will be bad brothers among us. They are getting too much attention and are being made the model for all Black men. This is not a fair assessment.



    Peace...
     
  7. Ankhur

    Ankhur Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    thefailure of 1000 plus of us right here to dialogue, plan, design nd enact at least one

    project for the benefit of the children of the National Black community,

    that we can enact on a state by state process
    and relate back,
    the results, not just an ego based, I did this long ago or I did that back in the day,
    but a serious and consistent,
    dialogue amongst Black men regarding what we can establish a consensus on and

    brainstorm for real solutions, and not just "the endless reaganite", shame on negros approach.

    We used to say long ago it takes a village to raise a child

    What ever happened to that village?
     
  8. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    I agree with all the brothers here , we have let our guards down collectively and
    became relax in the white wash society we live in , so here we have failed to make
    any change...
     
  9. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    We ar shortcoming of such where our Village has become vallys
    we have failed collectively as men to bring forth new growth of men to honor and love , respect and care
    we stop fatherhooding due to our own selfishness or lack of , we have given in and not upholding our
    kingship as men.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Another one of our biggest failures is the shortcoming of us in unity
    as men we are so divided by reasonal doubt or fear factors
    we have become a fallin culture of men who won't face up and accept fault
    yet blame and point , we set the lip ship out to sea but we forgot to board
    it and stand in the heat of action , I was once one who would feast up quick
    yet go hide behind the walls which hurts the collective effort .

    where the men at to speak on this collective failures of us , so we can defind
    and gain a solution to our many failures and faulty missions as men .

    CALLING ALL BROTHERS !!
     
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