Brother Tantrum

Discussion in 'Violators and Violations (Possible Ones)' started by Destee, Mar 26, 2006.

  1. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Tantrum,

    You are being disruptive all over the community. You've been doing this for quite some time. I've talked to you, warned you, on several occasions about different situations. You always oblige me, agreeing to stop, but it isn't long before you're into something else. The Moderators have tried to gently guide you in the way that we live, but you resist their efforts.

    I know you love this community, as you are a Premium Member, always here, giving love to others, all of the things we want our Members to do ... it's just that you sometimes, far too often, bring a disruptive essence with you. It hurts the whole community. It's that part we are having trouble dealing with. The part of you that is not happy here. The part that wants everything we do currently, to change, to something you believe would be better for this community. That part of you that feels you don't have to respect the requests of the Moderators. That part of you that thinks you can disrespect Sisters that don't look like you think they should. That part of you that can call a Sister out of her name. That part of you that has a problem with us being for, by and about Black people. It's that part Brother Tantrum, that's causing the problem.

    You aren't the first Member to come here, a little sharp around the edges. In times past, we've had the luxury of laboring long and hard with every Member (and they with us), in hopes that we could all live here together, peacefully. Unfortunately, as we grow so large, experiencing so much more of everything, we no longer have that kind of time.

    For the most part, everyone that takes part here is an adult, and adult behavior is expected of them. We will not be babysitters, begging grown men and women to behave in respectful manners. We just won't do that, not for any great length of time.

    Brother Tantrum ... consider this an official warning.

    If you continue in the vein you are going, your ability to interact here will be suspended for two weeks. If you choose to return after that time, with the same behavior, you will be banned. All of this with no fanfare.

    In addition, while i have your attention, i'd like to speak to you about the G14:Classified stuff. No Members are allowed to openly create private, personal, groups of people ... from our Membership ... in an effort to create some sort of clique or gang. You are hand picking Members to be a part of your group. Choosing who you find worthy, and leaving the rest of us out. That's not how we live here. Such behaviour is looked upon quite suspiciously. You can't come here and simply pick (who you believe) are our best and brightest. This community has not been grown and nurtured for any one somebody to come in and pick the ripest fruit, while leaving the rest. This is not acceptable. Please stop doing it.

    In closing, i love you Brother Tantrum, and hope i never have to suspend or ban your Membership.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  2. Isaiah

    Isaiah Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hmmmmmm. interesting...

    Peace!
    Isaiah
     
  3. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is most interesting
    I can only say I respond
    In a matter that is projected too me
    Yet as far as me asking members
    To join G14 it was only
    In an effort to communicate
    With other sisters and brothers
    Just a colab in a poem
    Yet what other underlining
    Things you might see behind
    This I am not sure-Yet I will listen
    To you and if you think I am harsh
    Will it wasnt meant that way just gave
    My honest thoughts and opinions
    Towards things and people
     
  4. Tantrum

    Tantrum Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Also
    As much Love as I show on here
    I havent really ever heard a moderator
    Say I was doing anything wrong
    Yes you have spoken with me
    I have always listened to you
    I have gotten caught up in some of
    The non-sense threads that are on here
    But the abundance of my time on Destee
    Is spent showing other individuals love on here
    I have shown everyone love from people
    That dont like me to the ones that do
    I know that my Love for the site has
    Way outweighed some of the negative
    Things that I have done-Yet I still love ya Destee
    I will try and stay away from the rubage
    Put myself on higher groung-Much Love Sister
     
  5. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You said it honey :lol: smh
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    More interesting than the posts that speak to your disruptive behavior, found in this forum?

    Please Brother Isaiah ... don't instigate.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. triniti424

    triniti424 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I'm sorry Destee, out of my own annoyance... I was doing it too :blush: My apologies sister :read:
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Thank you Sister Triniti ... but at least you aint got no complaints in this forum about you ... and instigate'n too!

    But i feel you ... i'm witchoo ... thanks !! :kiss: :love: :kiss:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Tantrum ... in regard to the G14:Classified thingy ... i didn't mean to sound like i was fussing at you. If i did, i apologize. You PM'd me asking if you could have a separate forum for the G14:Classified stuff. It took me a long time to read it, and i never responded. I asked you about G14:Classified on the forum, and you shared some with me. You did all you could, really, to consider all things. I dropped the ball, not responding to your PM, so stretched out and stuff. When i did respond to it (above), it had already grown into something that i didn't like ... but you gave me the opportunity to address it beforehand, and i failed to do that. This is not your fault. It's mine.

    Actually, what you've done has been attempted by others in the past, sorta. It was an issue addressed by the Moderating Team only, and nothing was posted (publicly) to the Family about it. There was another instance that was more public, that kinda reminded me of what you are doing ... or at least, based on my limited knowledge of what you're doing ... it reminded me of this. Don't misunderstand, they are not exactly like situations, but this person was going around hand picking Members too.

    As a result of you doing this, the G14:Classified thing, i'm encouraged to post an official policy regarding such. Please look forward to that. Prior to now, there had been no need. I'm sure as we grow, we'll see more attempts like this, and it's best for us to have our policy out front so everyone can know.

    In the mean time, i wanted to stop it, before it went any further. My apologies, as this is no reflection on you. You did absolutely nothing wrong in this situation, as you had no way of knowing how it would be received ... and you did ask.

    You are more than welcome to collaborate, communicate, bond, etc., with any Member here (that is willing to do likewise) ... without having to create further divisions of us. Anything that divides us, any more than we are already divided, automatically sends up red flags in this community.

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Tantrum ... if you're open to the Moderators letting you know what bothers them regarding your behavior, i'm sure they'll do that. This would be great actually, as there may simply be some miscommunication going on here. I do know though, that i have read a few times on the forum, where you've said ugly things about the Moderators. This isn't what they are complaining to me about though. They are complaining about the way you treat our community and Membership. If you're open to listening to them, responding to their concerns, them listening to you, etc. ... just say the word as i'm sure they're willing to hold this discussion right here, in this thread.

    Yes Brother Tantrum ... you have always listened to me! :love:

    You know what? Really, because you have always listened to me ... i was reluctant to listen to the Moderators on this one. I've grown so fond of you, and i believe in my heart that you love this place, our people, and want the best for all of us. I believe that! I was not looking forward to posting this to you, or even imagining in my mind, that i might have to suspend or ban you. The Moderators were screaming for your head! No! I'm kidding! Not Really! ... but they have grown tired of the disruptions you cause, requiring them to do more work.

    Yes, you give lots of love to this place! From the moment you walked in the door, you gave love! I notice these things! I've told you all of this. We've talked. But unfortunately, i'm not really a Moderator, and i don't have to deal with the disruption that the Moderators see on a regular basis. I'm not in the trenches, like they are. I depend on them to manage that part, and when they say "we've got a problem" ... no matter that i've not had that same problem ... i must listen to them.

    I want you to listen to them too, respect them. They are on your side. We have the best Moderators in the whole wide world ... i'm sure of that ... and they are here to help your stay be a peaceful, pleasant, and enriching one.

    Brother Tantrum ... i'd like to encourage you to go to a Moderator, if you're having a problem with a Member ... someone is violating you ... go to a Moderator ... or better yet ... post a thread in this forum with their name in it ... calling them out! Of course you have to present the evidence when you do these things. Make sure you aren't the one in the wrong. Make sure you've not violated the rules ... and we'll have your back! You can't be wrong ... you can't been dun stabbed 15 Members, then one shoots you ... and you wanna cry foul. It doesn't work like that. You must be blameless, otherwise, you risk the same consequence as the one you're complaining about ... having your Membership suspended or banned. As you can see, it benefits you nothing, to be a part of the disruption ... so don't let yourself be a part of it. Okay? Come to us, we're here. And ... actually ... posting in this forum is even better than contacting a Moderator privately, as everyone gets to see how things are handled! :wink:

    In regard to your good outweighing your bad ... that's really not for you to determine ... as it relates to this community. That's for the Moderators to determine. So please please please take heed to what is being said in this thread. Your good is not outweighing your bad, if you're being cautioned prior to being suspended / banned. Those folk who determine what weighs the most, are clearly saying ... your bad is outweighing your good.

    I understand how you would think your good outweighs your bad ... because to me, that's true. I think the good outweighs the bad too ... but from a management perspective ... when one Member continually is at the center of disruptions ... constantly having to be warned, guided, tolerated ... no matter how much good they are doing ... the bad overshadows it. Unfortunately, a little bit of bad (in some cases) can over-shadow a lifetime of good.

    Yes ... you've gotten a little caught up, and i'd like to encourage you to step back a little ... relax ... enjoy ... get to know the community as it is, as it has been for many years ... understand how things work here ... and don't rock the boat ... well ... at least until you understand how long this boat has been in the water, how many times we've had to patch it up, how many times it's taken on water, how many have jumped overboard, how many storms we've weathered ... etc. ... learn us ... give us a chance ... and i think you'll like us even more than you already do! :wink:

    Remember ... you've got to stay out of mess ... or you'll be banned for 2 weeks, with no more notice than you've already been given ... k ?

    Love You!

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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