Black Relationships : BROTHAS............. Why would you NOT date a Sistah?

Status
Not open for further replies.
in response to kente417mojo

xxxundefinedat least you know that not all black women are like that. i'm an example of those black women who aren't like that.
1.i know for a fact that i don't have a stank attitude because i don't feel comfortable acting like that.
2. i'm not crazy about material things. there's alot of things i can live without. needs are essential, wants are a luxury. also, the more you have, the more you have to lose.
3.i'm not confident enough to be self centred. media and todays society can create alot of insecurities in a person. i am my worst critic.
4. i don't know whether im uptight about sex. i do enjoy it, but im not easy. ok maybe i am a little bit uptight but it's only because i find it hard to trust people.
5. I do NOT hate men. in fact, it's the total opposite.
6.i don't need a man to take care of all my problems or to give me the world as long as i can have his heart, then i already have the world. :angel1:
7. i prefer to do the 50/50 thing.
8. I HATE arguing but i do have a temper but i've learnt to control it. i don't like being taken for a fool.
9.i hate negative things i prefer to focus on the positive things.
10. i only talk a lot if i'm involved in a deep and interesting subject. otherwise i don't really like unneccessary discussions. i like joking about, though.
11. i'm no way loud. people always ask me why i'm so quiet.
12. this depends on how a man wants to be treated.
13. and i don't think there's any such thing as a perfect man or woman so i don't expect my partner to be perfect.

basically what i am trying to say is that not all black women are like that. However, i have heard a lot of black men saying that black women are all the things that you mentioned. but i don't think people should stereotype like that. it's a bit frustrating. but i guess past experiences can make you think like that.
:teach:
 
Amen, Toylin.

I wonder when it was determined universally that the black woman was almost the equivalent of the devil?? I am tired, personally, of being told how evil, materialistic and needy black women are. If there is a bad trait or character flaw, somehow it is attributed to us. I, fortunately enough, am not one with a stank attitude, but let me educate a few people out there. There are plenty of women out there with the stank attitudes that have men. That "nice" genuine sista tends to work a little harder to prove she isn't a fake. I know from experience, just as these brothers know first hand or from the rumor mill. Black women did not create materialism. Are we at fault because we like nice things? Show me a woman who doesn't. Show me a woman who wouldn't rather a house than an apartment with a blinged out ride out front? Show me a woman who isn't tired of the struggle, with or without kids, who thinks that if you are in a relationship/household with another, that you should pool together your resources for a better life?

Brothers demand things from us on a daily. Don't get past a certain size, don't wear makeup or if you do, certain colors. Want us to dress in the clothes they prefer, down to our pajamas. Talk about our feet, teeth and whether or not we shave our private areas.

Judge each woman individually please. I don't lump all black men in one category and have never dated outside my race. I love black men too much, and will keep myself away from those who are undesirable to me.



toylin said:
Part of the "too good for men" attitude seems to come from that whole Women's Lib thing. For millenia, it seems as though women were second class citizens, and a Black woman in America? Forget it. We were nobody for a long, long time. We realized that we didn't HAVE to be dependant on a man, and started to believe that we didn't need one on ours lives. Many single women brag about being "mama and daddy both" to their children.

Yes, some of our attitudes ARE stank. But for how long did brothers have stank attitudes? Men in general, if you think about it. This society with its loose morals and focus on sexuality makes women losers. If we don't look, talk, dress, cook, work, drive or have sex a certain way, we're told that we can be replaced. Yet, strangely, when the script gets flipped, and a woman tells a man those same things, she gets called a b**** and stank and everything else under the sun.

There is going to be work in ANY relationship. How much work is too much work? There's where it gets tricky. Women are still told what they HAVE to do to keep a man, while men are virtually free to run around. When a woman is told to lose weight, work full time, have babies, raise babies, cook, clean, shop, keep her hair and nails done to look good for her man, and still expected to pleasure her man on a regular basis, it's called "her job." When a man is told to take out the trash and skip a day of football games, he says it's "too much work" to be with a sista.

Now, I'm generalizing here. A lot. But I know I'm not the only one who has seen this in action. I feel that in a relationship, both parties need to put ALL their cardsa on the table and so what's what. People spend so much time holding their "trump" card that they lose the game.

I love, no, adore Black men. How can I not? My father is a Black man. My ex-husband is a Black man. My son will grow up and be a Balck man. To hate my brothers is to hate the men in my life that made me who I am today. To hate brothers is to hate myself.

I kow this is kind of long, but here is my impassioned plea: TALK TO EACH OTHER, DAGNABIT!

:heart:
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donate

Support destee.com, the oldest, most respectful, online black community in the world - PayPal or CashApp

Latest profile posts

HODEE wrote on Etophil's profile.
Welcome to Destee
@Etophil
Destee wrote on SleezyBigSlim's profile.
Hi @SleezyBigSlim ... Welcome Welcome Welcome ... :flowers: ... please make yourself at home ... :swings:
Back
Top