Black Relationships : BROTHAS............. Why would you NOT date a Sistah?

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by KWABENA, Sep 13, 2004.

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  1. KWABENA

    KWABENA STAFF STAFF

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    I hear some brothas saying:

    "Black girls make you work too hard."

    "Sistahs are too much work!"

    That is a shame. But anyway, let me know and the rest of the family know why you would NOT date a sistah.
     
  2. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    I sincerely don't have a clue as to why I wouldn't date or marry a Sista. Can't fathom dating or marrying anyone else.
     
  3. bigtown

    bigtown Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I MUST ADMIT, SISTAHS CAN BE A BIT DIFFICULT TO HANDLE. SOME SISTAHS ARE READY TO DUMP A BROTHA AS SOON AS HE SHOWS HER THE LEAST BIT OF A HUMAN FLAW. FORTUNATELY, SISTAHS ARE NOW STARTING TO REALIZE THIS ABOUT THEMSELVES. I PERSONALLY DON'T VIBE WITH WHITE CHICKS AT ALL. UNFORTUNATELY THOUGH, MANY SISTAHS HAVE STILL BOUGHT INTO THE WHITE MANS LIE THAT THEY ARE TO GOOD FOR THE BLACK MAN. THOSE SISTAHS CAN GO ON ABOUT THERE BUSINESS, I PERSONALLY DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THEM. I'M MAD IN LOVE WITH THE REST THOUGH. THERE'S NOTHING LIKE A FINE SISTAH ( OF ALL SHADES ) WITH HER MIND AND BODY RIGHT. THAT'S LOVELY.

    THAT'S MY "BIG" OPINION.
     
  4. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I do hear many black men say that they would not date a black woman or they are tired of dating black women because of certain reasons. They say dating other races is a more positive experience because of differences like:

    1. Stank attitudes
    2. Materialistic
    3. Too into themselves/ Self-centered
    4. Uptight about sex
    5. Hate men
    6. Too needy
    7. Too cheap (never pay for anything)
    8. Argue too much
    9. Negative
    10. Talk too much
    11. Too loud
    12. Don't know how to treat a man
     
  5. MrBlak

    MrBlak Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would take this list, personalize it to my tastes, then apply it on AN INDIVIDUAL LEVEL. I am only interested in dating and marrying black women, but there are many that would not mix with me well. I am picky, but who ever I pick in the end will be a black woman so I cannot be the type to decide NOT to date all black women.

    I understand how people can become frustrated...there are many cruel, arrogant, materialistic, verbally abusive, overly needy, and selfish black women out there.....but that does not mean there are not good ones. I dont need them all to act right.....just one at a time.
     
  6. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Kente, I'm only gonna say this. Men hate it when women confine all black men to the sterotypes of being lazy, dead beat dads, hoodlums etc. So why would you do that to us women? I love my sistas and yes there is many sistas as well as brothas I wish I could just beat some self love, respect, and self confidence into but I can't. I judge each person only on what they have shown to me in the time I've known them. I know you are speaking in general but my brotha the list you composed is not general. I am a very strong black woman and yes I have some insecurity issues but those issues was cause by black men. Would it be fair to you if you was interested in me or some other black man was interested in me and I treated them like the no good men that gave me the insecurities I have? The traits you listed are not exclusive to just us black women.

    Poetic Sista
     
  7. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    These traits I listed are also not my personal opinion. I said:

    "I do hear many black men say that they would not date a black woman or they are tired of dating black women because of certain reasons. They say dating other races is a more positive experience because of differences like"

    I put together a list of problems that I have heard from friends, relatives and co-workers that happen to be black men. I have met more than my share of black women that share many of these qualities. Out of all the women I've met and been with (black, asian, hispanic) black women have had more of these qualities than any other race.....at least with the one's I've been with. Now, I still will not generalize and say all black women are this way because I NEVER label people based on race. On the other hand...most people will come to a conclusion based on race and that's why many black men probably feel this way regarding black women. It's based on whatever experiences you've been through and whether you are willing to see the real truth behind it...right? The same way we as black people will tell our children NOT to date white women because they are trouble.
     
  8. Poeticsoulsista

    Poeticsoulsista Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To each it's own but many are quick to say black women give men many problems but our own men don't take the time to understand and be patient with us. They are so quick to go to some one else that won't make them work hard.( that's where the laziness come in) I say everything you have to work hard for, is worth working for. That's it. I've said my peace.


    Poetic Sista
     
  9. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    This is very true. SOME black men to go elsewhere because they feel it will be the easy way. I don't see where the "working hard" thing...is a good thing. I should not have to work that hard to be happy with a woman. I should not have to put up with a loud mouth, self-centered, materialistic woman...whether she is black or any other race. I understand that every man/woman is going to have downfalls..and that's life. But, out of the 12 things I listed..if you have more than 2 or 3...you are not worth the "powder to blow you up with". Relationships are hard enough without having to be patient with a woman that might never change her way of thinking. Poetic Sista...I am not speaking badly of black women. I love black women with a passion, but I will not put up with any crap from one. Call it laziness or call it confidence. Either way...there are more fish in the sea, so no one should have to wait for someone to get their personal issues and hangups in order before they are capable of making you happy.
     
  10. MANASIAC

    MANASIAC Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I usually have frustarting issues with Sistahs (Black and Latino). I prefer Black and Latin Women however I encounter the following problems with Sistuhs and Latino women:

    1. They are emotionally draining.
    2. They tend to dislike activities that are not BLACK or LATIN.
    3. They have a problem with a brothers criminal history that has nothing to do with them.
    4. They do not like the fact that I will not go broke to purport a lifestyle of riches to impress them.
    5. They dislike my intelligence and views of life because they are not Ignornat enough.
    6. I cannot be a gentleman, when I attempt to do something nice, it is taken as I am trying to take advantage; thus, they impede upon my affection.


    And add that stuff that my man Kente Said.

    Just because you Black or Latin does not mean I have to put up with your BS. I refuse to do it.

    Sadly enough, I have not encountered the same problems with other races. But I am still open to the fact, race does not determine behavior, so I do know that my experiences are limited to the few black and latin women I have talked too, not all.
     
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