Black Poetry : Broken Inside (not official title)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by ille$t poete$$, Mar 10, 2004.

  1. ille$t poete$$

    ille$t poete$$ Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2004
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    (909) to tha fullest
    Ratings:
    +0
    Tears fall from these eyes
    Insecurites & pains is what lies
    lies deep inside
    I want to be the image of perfection
    Thats what i want to see
    Loved is what i want to be
    They tell to me love myself not be afriad to be me
    But as I look at my reflection I don't like what I see
    Don't feel accepted don't feel like i fit in
    I can't seem to help the way i feel within
    So I'm tired of trying...I'm giving up now...
    For I've been wishing on stars fo far too long
    None have come tru so now I'm done
    For life isn't worth living if I dont love myself
    life is worth living if i can't find myself
    Life isn't worht living b/c I'm not happy with me
    This is not how i want to be
    :bawling: :bawling: :bawling: :bawling: :cry: :cry: :cry:

    Hey I know this "poem" aint really that good or whatever but its just how I've been feelin lately....so I just had to xpress myself some how so i did it like this...... :crying:
     
  2. gempis

    gempis Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    May 5, 2003
    Messages:
    4,020
    Likes Received:
    32
    Occupation:
    strength coach
    Location:
    Seattle, WA
    Ratings:
    +32
    Aw, please don't give up on yourself, poete$$. I will tell you what I see: a sensitive, creative soul who writes with talent beyond your years. I'm sure that's only the tip of the iceberg on the richness of your person. You are right about two things: you need to love yourself and find yourself. Just keep trying, and don't ever give up on yourself, poete$$. You're the most important one you'll ever have. Keep having faith and working on it, and know that the Destee family loves you just the way you are.
     
  3. watzinaname

    watzinaname Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2003
    Messages:
    16,340
    Likes Received:
    114
    Location:
    Northeast
    Ratings:
    +122
    You can only be you, just try to be the best you that you can be. We all get down on ourselves sometimes, I hope it frees your spirit somewhat to express it.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2001
    Messages:
    69,983
    Likes Received:
    3,978
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    BUSINESS owner
    Location:
    Da~WINDY*CITY //CHICAGO
    Ratings:
    +4,178
    indeed you are whom u are and what u are a poetic poet !!
    a life a person a heart a soul and that along makes this piece a masterful
    one indeed ......ur a POET and a creative one on that flow on
    i feel ya within
     
  5. Sweet baby_face

    Sweet baby_face Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2003
    Messages:
    1,332
    Likes Received:
    7
    Occupation:
    Student by day, Poet by night
    Location:
    DETROIT
    Ratings:
    +7
    YR honesty is just so touching.
    I'm trying not 2 cry here.
    This was so raw and real.
    Loved this.
     
  6. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    3,096
    Likes Received:
    15
    Occupation:
    youth volunteer
    Location:
    Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +17
    to Ill

    Ille$t, :teach:
    I know how you feel
    be tru to you,and jus keep it real
    guard your mind,cause negitive thoughts will kill
    this the devil knows, so let him not steal :grin:
    I will raise you up, onto the highest hill
    want to stay on top, you gotta have the will
    know you R special, tell all the others to chill
    You're God's creation, one heck of a deal

    Nita :heart:
     
  7. lpoet

    lpoet Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2002
    Messages:
    535
    Likes Received:
    1
    Occupation:
    student
    Location:
    Indianapolis
    Ratings:
    +1
    this wasnt bad...seems very emotional and is structured very well..however i think that u should go over it again and cut out some of the rough edges and add a bit more...made for a good read though

    nice job
     
  8. Khasm13

    Khasm13 STAFF STAFF

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Mar 26, 2003
    Messages:
    10,784
    Likes Received:
    4,235
    Gender:
    Male
    Ratings:
    +4,472
    tru feelings are always good poetry....
    concentrate on yourself...
    do things for you...
    and most times
    thas when the right one comes thru...:)
    one love
    khasm
     
  9. ille$t poete$$

    ille$t poete$$ Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Joined:
    Feb 17, 2004
    Messages:
    53
    Likes Received:
    0
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location:
    (909) to tha fullest
    Ratings:
    +0
    thnx for all yo luv n support yall! i really needed that i greatly apreciate all the kind replies! Its amazin how somethin as simple as readin y'all'z kind words touched me and made my day brighter i thank ya! *1 luV*
    :luvv:
     
  10. Nita

    Nita Well-Known Member MEMBER

    Country:
    United States
    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2001
    Messages:
    3,096
    Likes Received:
    15
    Occupation:
    youth volunteer
    Location:
    Arkansas
    Ratings:
    +17
    ill

    That's what we are here for....keep ya head up..:wink:
     
Loading...