Quiet Poetry Lounge : boxes (sort of)

Discussion in 'Black Poetry - Get Your Flow On!' started by TotalView, Jun 30, 2011.

  1. TotalView

    TotalView Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    come to me
    bring the mournful
    treasures
    you keep stored
    in old dusty boxes
    in the dark corner
    of your heart's attic
    i will wipe each photo
    of your pain on my sleeve
    clean each picture frame
    of their hurtful memories
    and then showcase them
    pristine clean
    on my heart's mantle
    then take the browning poems
    stack them neatly
    and then tie them
    in the ribbon of my love

    and if all of this
    is too much for you
    what i will do is
    sit in the middle of the attic floor
    amongst the cobwebs
    and the fading light
    and simply wait
    for
    you
    to
    come
    to
    me
     
  2. NittyGrit

    NittyGrit Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    there is a mature and patient undertone to this poem that just reeks of love. Its as if the writer isn't asking for permission to enter the attic...she has assessed its cobwebs and aging papers with eyes wide open. The melancholy dust hasn't scared her away...it drew her closer to him.

    Now she has made an emotionally intelligent decision and anticipates delving into the inventory...as soon as the object of her affection is ready she will cover him with staying power.

    She isn't afraid of what she'll find, she's more excited about reading in between his lines...

    Great post...as usual
     
  3. TotalView

    TotalView Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Poet NittyGrit,

    I am growing quite fond of you. (smile) Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time out to do a thoughtful and in depth analysis of my work. It was truly a pleasure to read and I am humbled. Thanks again for stopping by and leaving words. You've made my day.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    very interesting swival into da depth of one's place
    as i look deeper......
     
  5. baller

    baller Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    to take one's heart, and wipe away all the past residue of hurtful things...and clean up the dreams that yesterday failed to bring...and cradle it protectively, deep in you special place...is a wonderful thing. something that should be experienced by all. for love done right is never to be made sad.

    you did this well.

    thank you.
     
  6. TotalView

    TotalView Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Brother Poet baller,

    Thank you for these words. I have held them close to my heart every since I set eyes on them. You're right. Love done right is never to be made sad, for either party. Sometimes no matter how both people try to love it simply isn't meant to be and things begin to unravel... both hearts hurting but knowing the end of their love is sure and near. Sadness isn't even close to what is felt. But...we move on..hoping one day the love in us will get it right with someone else. There's always hope for painless peaceful love. (smile) Thanks again for your words.

    dear friend, would you honor me by collaborating with me? i would love to feel your words next to mine. think about it, ok? (smile)
     
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