BROTHER O, excellent post!!
If you'll humor my thoughts:
I agree, and this was my thought from the onset, after reading her statement.
I think the thing that holds most of us back from getting what we want out of life (barring external circumstances beyond our control), is fear.
Not only do we fear what would happen if we fail to achieve our heart's desire, but I think on some level, we fear what would happen if we do.
This is especially the case for Black people (both men and women); we seem to suffer from that whole notion of "fear of success.
Sister BISABEE's post reminded me of that point; I was trying my best to touch on this in my response, while still being tactful. However, your direct sentiment echoed what I was saying--at least in mind, if not in script.
I was also going to touch on this as well. Nearly every older Black man I know, is trying to run down behind a young skirt. Even my own father, after my mother returned to the Essence.....He's always inquiring about the younger women at his church.....Whenever the older women his age inquire about him, he will entertain them, but only for a short while.
This is a man, in his mid 70's, who has a host of health problems (cancer in remission, severe arthritis, hypertension, etc)....... Yet, he "dates" more women my ages, than I do--go figure.
And his health is another issue:
The older that men get--especially Black men, the worse off they are health-wise. Most Black men, having worked in physically stressful occupations for most of their lives (my father worked construction for 35 years; that's why I refused to do it, and opted for my mother's career legacy, in the healthcare field), and this physical stress tends to bring down the quality of their health considerably.
"Things" don't work as well as they used to, and even when it does, their stamina is never going to be up to par, in comparison to yester-year.
This is the expounded version of your point:
What sense does it make, for an older woman, at her sexual peak, to chase or wait around for a man her age--one who is not looking for a woman his age to begin with, and if he is, he may not possess the ability to satisfy her?
The goal with any relationship, is to seek out that exceptional partner (within realistic limits). But instead, people--especially women--have bought into the "male shortage" crisis, and seem to have adopted the resulting philosophy: "A piece of man is better than no man at all".
If a younger man is actively seeking out an older woman, then he should be seen as being exceptional from the very start; he already possess that "out-of-the-box" thinking, if he is going against social norms with respect to age. He must also already realize (or at least thinks) that he possesses some sort of quality(s) that an older woman would desire or appreciate in him.
Interesting. :?:
My scenario was just the opposite: I was the product of an older mother and a younger father. My Mother (RIP) was 56 years old when she had me (that's right, that was NOT a typo, and you didn't read that wrong). My father was 14 years younger than she was.
I've always grown up around older people in general; all my cousins (mostly female) were usually older than me, and when I lived with my father, all of the people he brought around me (his work buddies, fellow Masons, etc) were obviously older, in his age range.
That's why I've always had a fascination and appreciation for older women.
So very true. Which is why I stated that she might be "Blocking her Blessing".
Don't get me wrong; I've experienced some similar scenarios with older women.
However, I tend to look for the "empty-nester" Sisters, those women whose children (if they even have any) have moved out and on. Many of the women that I encounter, simply want the companionship; they arleady have their own houses, education, and careers established (remember, I'm in a corporate environment, and I'm mostly around corporate women).
True indeed, I feel you on this. These are the worst-case scenarios, that a Younger Brother has to watch out for--but that's no different from what any person should be doing.
Interesting perspective...... I'm wondering if I'll feel the same way, by the time I get that age--assuming I won't be involved with someone at that time.
Interesting idea.......I'd like to explore of these Biblical indescripancies, especially as they apply to our view of how the Bible and religion forms ourvalues, especially as far as relationships are concerned.
Hmm, this is deep......I'd like for you to expound upon this more; particularly in terms of how you think it might play out as far as our people are concerned.
PEACE
... please make yourself at home ... 