Black Relationships : Blacks and Whites romantically involved; why does it happen?

I can't believe you still don't get it:11600:

Ok, as long as blacks dressed like whites on the job, everything was cool. The moment this sista wore her African attire, the office dress code was changed. It didn't effect the whites, they dress that way, but the blacks could no long where clothing that was ethnic.

And as far as the hair, you mean you don't see the problem?

Like I and others are saying to you, there is an obvious disconnect.

Also you want one definition for what is "acting black", for starters, my points has nothing to do with acting, but rather being who and what you are...black. Also there are multiple definitions, and views for what it means to act black. It can't be taught to you, you just have to be raised in it to know it. I had a co-worker who was raised around whites her whole life, and she had the same disconnect as you. She just couldn't relate to me, or any other black. She had IMO, a white view of the world.

It's not your fault, it's just the way things are.

Peace!

its not that i dont get what your sayin - i see perfectly well that theres a convention of how people should dress and wear there hair in many workplaces and that that convention is based on white views so people turnin up in african print dresses with cornrows or that matter japanese people turnin up in kimonos is gonna be looked on as weird or freakish - its a good example of institutional racism - i get that

now i started down this path cuz you said....

The thing is/was, especially back in past decades, and even now is that white will gleefully accept blacks, only if blacks act, and be white.

so does that mean the way we are acting white is simply by followin there styles of hair and dress - or is there more to it - are we havin to change our behavior in some way or is it just appearance? if so what ways of behavin would you think is white ways that we are copyin?
 
Greetings Dreya,

After reading your post in this thread....I decided to try and help you overstand. For me, a good example would be diet. Meaning that the Whites that I've have known do not cook the way Blacks do. Most of their food is bland and undercooked void of flavor. Even though, lets say @ a pot-luck they bring a dish and just by chance you bring the same dish. Now they taste your dish and they marvel at how different they both taste. Something as simple as using Miracle Whip in a dish and not Mayonnaise can make or break the flavor of that dish. But for some reason they, for the life of them will not use Miracle Whip. And they still expect the flavor to be as good as yours.

The above paragraph is just one small example of how they expect others to be. They want others to dress, walk, and talk like them. Just so they feel safe. But inside they are marveling at how others may dress, walk, and talk. Meaning they are afraid of something that is different then they are. Meanwhile others are happy being themselves.

Hope this helps you overstand a little better.

Lilpea... :1on1:
 
thnks for the reply but honestly that dont leave me much wiser - im really after some specific behaviors here - you talkin bout the way i dress or how i speak or somethin else????

You can't honestly believe it can be pinpointed like that, can you?

There are just some things you know comes naturally to blacks more than any other, but just because another black person doesn't demonstrate it doesn't mean they are less black.

The whole "specific behavior" is usually how whites view us, when they're trying to box us in to behaving, dressing, speaking, etc just ONE way.
 
You can't honestly believe it can be pinpointed like that, can you?

There are just some things you know comes naturally to blacks more than any other, but just because another black person doesn't demonstrate it doesn't mean they are less black.

The whole "specific behavior" is usually how whites view us, when they're trying to box us in to behaving, dressing, speaking, etc just ONE way.

which is more or less what i was tryin to get at in a way - i mean the black folk in the suburb i was raised in werent exactly what youd call ghetto - it was a middle class suburb - people white and black pretty much acted in a similar way - main difference i remember from growin up was food and music - nobody really wore what youd call african dress - we just wore clothes - never really thought about them bein white or black clothes - some of us kids did rock some african hair styles - only thing that really comes to mind if i think of people acting white from that place was the whites who was acting superior - education was high on the list of what all the parents wanted for there kids plus plenty of talks on stayin outta trouble....

so this is why i was having a prob thinking well if people reckon i shoudnt be actin white at work that means i should be actin black and then thinkin - ok so just what does that actually mean - i mean i could turn up with my hair in corn rows tryin to talk like some rapper and doin all those gestures - but thats not how the black people in my family or round where i was raised act like - that wouldnt be bein me - to be honest only way i can think of that i act different to my white coworkers is i wear more jewlry - im louder than them and i laugh rather more - never really thought much whether that comes from bein black or just bein me - though my dad and sister are both pretty loud too - so guess its part genetic
 

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