I continue to hear that black women must do a better job raising black boys, but this only puts more pressure on black women to harden themselves do something that most are unequipped and unable to do, generally speaking. There are always exceptions. Also, in SOME cases, a black mother’s efforts to keep her son on the right track will pay off due to her individual makeup AND due to a peculiar set of circumstances that shape up in her particular situation to help her, but generally speaking young males are going to imitate the males in their environment. This is simply the pattern of human socialization throughout the world. If a black mother is giving her son a set of messages that are contradicted, either in word or by the attitudes and behavior of the males in the environment, upon reaching adolescence, the typical boy—in most cases—will imitate the behavior of those males because MOST boys do not want to be thought less of or ostracized by other males. Boys seek approval primarily from other males. Girls do too, but in different ways. This is because the patriarchial system is the dominant system in the world. Females are still thought by most cultures in the world--including many in this society--to exist primarily to assist males, support them and keep them happy. So, the male ‘stamp of approval’ is very important to a boy because males rule the world, and it is evident why most males don’t want the “effeminate” label attached to them. Presented with these limited options, some black boys make a decision at an early age to become a loner rather than be destroyed by a negative peer group or the negativity in the environment. This has it’s advantages and disadvantages. I often have to counsel these boys who have made this decision to pull away because many of them suffer from depression and some don't learn the social skills needed to succeed in other areas of life. The main point I’m trying to make is that as long as so many black boys see so many older black males not achieving, being lesser participants in the home or in social settings, or engaging in destructive, anti-home and counter-societal behaviors, most of the boys are going to emulate those males. SOLUTION: Unfortunately, too many black single women who are raising children live in predominantly large or urban areas or locales where anti-home and counter-societal attitudes and behaviors are the norm. The absolute one BEST thing that a black single mother can do if she’s determined to prevent her son from becoming a replica of the loser black males in such an environment is to physically move away from that environment because people are mostly a product of their environment. Surround your son with males who ARE doing what males are supposed to do. You may think that you can save him from a negative environment if you stay where you are and do this or that, but I would bet my house that the environment will win in most cases. However, you may not know that you have lost until your son is in his upper teens or grown.