Black Relationships : Black Women & Domestic Violence

Discussion in 'Black Relationships' started by Thelma Jackson-Smith, Oct 15, 2012.

  1. Thelma Jackson-Smith

    Thelma Jackson-Smith Well-Known Member MEMBER

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  2. MsInterpret

    MsInterpret Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Many things contribute...

    1) slavery
    2) racism
    3) self-hatred
    4) alcohol/drugs
    5) lack of values
    6) the media
    7) our society is desensitized
    8) prisons
    9) brain-washing of our people
    10) lack of structure in the black family
     
  3. info-moetry

    info-moetry STAFF STAFF

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    peace

    Well, according to the article, it's the black man. But, as MsInterpret has said, there are many different contributing factors.
     
  4. dunwiddat

    dunwiddat Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Domestic violence is not only a black issue. I know the opening poster asked the question concerning black women.

    As Ms Interpreter pointed out there are many reasons. There are men who seek to control women. I always told my ex never hit me. My father hit me once and I said no man will hit me. If things are not working for us, go your way and I will go mine.
    I believe that women have become too timid..thinking that suffering in silence is a badge of honour. Marriage is between two people who should have deep abiding love for each other. There are men who inflict violence, not necessarily physical but mental and emotional. They seem to want to keep you barefoot and pregnant. Their wives are not to complain about anything..and to my mind this is slavery. If something is wrong discuss it.

    I remembered as a young girl a woman was being beaten by her man, she was in the road and he kicked her like she was an old shoe or a dog.....She kept crying...Yuh gine kill muh:( That incident has been etched in my mind from then until this day.

    I have seen women who because the man is the one contributing to the household finances believe that they should take anything. Love is not a oneway street..and UNLESS a man who is an abuser makes up his mind to change, the only alternative is to leave.

    Several years ago, I watch a movie which was taken from a true life story in the USA. This woman was being abused by her husband. She eventually had to seek help by checking in with a shelter for abused women. He came to visit pretending that he had changed. He said to her, come and walk with me to the bus stop. When she got there he shot her.

    Women must learn to be strong. Domestic violence feeds itself off of weak women, who have low self esteem. I believe that every woman should get a good quality eductation. Most women remain in abusive relationships because they have no other means of finacial help..they are obligated to take whatever treatment is meted out to them. Men must realise that these same women are the mothers of their children and when they behave like this they are sending a subtle message to their children particularly their sons that they can do it to and this continues the cycle of domestic violence.

    Black men must remember that women during slavery suffered severely at the hands of slave masters who raped them at a time when they could not fight back...and it grieves me to see that this kind of repetiitive behaviour continues on a different level. Most abusers have no intention of changing...and that is the problem, the abused woman deep down wants to be with the man, and at times ignores this fact. The man may acknowledge verbally that he has changed..but is it really true..Perhaps he too came from environment where he saw domestic violence too. An elderly lady told me years ago.. "Nevery marry a man that you are afraid of". Sound advice for any women. Fear is at the root of the domestic abuse where women find themselves trapped and unable to do anything.
     
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