Black Women : Black women and white women

Brothers Changes, Python and Kente417mojo, thank you for the enlightening opinions as they are most appreciated coming from Black men who I have developed a high regard for.

Brother Kente, I found your comments to be like a splash of cold water in my face. Hmmmm...has me thinking. True, some sisters have issues they need to get past as do some brothers when it comes to this topic.

In the bigger scheme of things racism has done a number on many of us and you're right, if sisters don't like it when brothers date/marry outside of their race, we have to make sure we're not doing anything to contribute to that before we complain.

I'm not a perfect woman, and as a Black woman, I dn't think that I have traits or characteristics that would give Black men reasons for preferring a woman from another race over me. I'm not going to compete with them, I'm simply going to be myself and the best person I can be because that's how it should be.

If a white woman or any other woman gets a jump start ahead of me, then the way I look at it, it wasn't meant for me to begin with. As a spiritual person, I firmly believe that we can draw people to us based on what we pray for and how we treat them. Simply saying that you want a good man and treating men like dawgs, is nothing more than an accident waiting to happen.

We must first be true to ourselves and treat people as we want to be treated. Consistency between what's in our hearts and what we do, is important.

Each time discussion gets deep like this, I always learn something new and helpful. Thank you all for your input.

Queenie :spinstar:
 
No problem Queen, there have been so many times when you dumped a whole bucket of ice cold water on my face. I love reading what you post. This is a subject that I like to speak on because I love black women as well as all women. I do think that black women are the ideal mates for the black man, but I have met so many beautiful women of different races that I can't imagine ruling them out simply because they are not black. :heart:
 
Changes_Changes said:
Sister Joyce,

How do we know that Brothers wearing loose-fitted clothing, driving accessorized automobiles, donning costume jewelry and decorated grills, with a fondness for touching themselves, who stutter, and speak Black American English don't know themselves? And what is your definition of education?

The point doesn't speak directly to Sister NNQueen's post, but clearly identifying those things that constitute Black Cultures is a necessary correlative to many issues confronting Africans, especially those who've been in direct and consistent contact with Europeans. There is such a thing as Black American Culture, and the IceCold act is part. It is a living, breathing retelling and response to our experience here, and it doesn't desist just because we find one or many of its ever-evolving attributes unflattering.

Changes-Changes, I believe you may have misunderstood me. I was responding to Bro. Man here below:

MANASIAC said:
This might be off topic:

Personally. I think to each his own. I have dated white women before and I did not have a problem with it. I think love does not have a color. However, I think their is a psychological problem to the person who hates their race for frivolous reasons such as behavior needs to see a doctor. But with that said.

What advice does anyone who posted here have for the following situation:

I have had Black Women tell me that the clothes I wore were too white, that my name was white (Dale), that my music was white (Techno), and that everything to them that I enjoyed, Surfing etc was WHITE. These responses came from Sisters who were Ghetto, Educated, and all across the board; these examples were not from one type of black woman.

This was not my sole reason for dating white women, but it was my reason for not trying to date one Black Woman or any Woman period, I got sick of always being to white or not being WHITE enough for certain black women. So I started in the family business of womanizing and I was highly successful at it. While this was not a justification for my wrong actions, it was a contributing factor.

Does anyone have an unbiased answer for brothers and sisters like myself who have these problems?


Changes...when I said:But ask yourself, if these are the type of sistahs you want to be with anyway. These type of people do not even know who they are yet.

I was referring to the sistahs who accused Mansiac of acting "white". I have an 18 year old son who is a very intelligent young man...a top class music producer (purchased a new mustang with his own money) and writer and an 21 year who has published his first book of fiction. They both dress in the way I described above (without the gold in the mouth and no grabbing of the private parts...sorry I don't like neither) and I have no prob with that as long as their pants do not fall to point where gays will get stirred. :grin: The younger son is already beginning to grow out of this phase of dressing and gravitate (no thanks to me) towards the neater fashions...nice baggy jeans (that fit around the waist) with shirts that go in and a pair of expensive eyewear. I think it's because his physique is developing beautifully and he wants to show it off. Ain nothing wrong with that because it certainly won't be seen under all of those huge clothes. :lol: So to diss people who dress like that would be to diss my own sons. However, it is not fair to label black people who don't dress like that or don't listen to rap but country music as (my niece loves this stuff - country music but not rap - she's 22) people who act "white". That's all I was saying.

Joyce
 
Thank you for the clarification, Sister Joyce.

I used this thread as an oppurtunity to address the ever-recurrent issue, "what is Black? And when I start to move away from those things that define Black, am I that much less Black as a result?"

For all groups, ethnic or otherwise, there are a number of culture artifacts which remain so uncannily consistant from one extreme to another that these things can be said to define the group and its constituents. That so many Black Americans, for instance, speak, walk, dance, sing, prepare meals, dress themselves, and even think so simillarly can't be regarded as coincidence. When one mimics the rituals and puts into practice the value system of such a group, one can be said to be doing, "A Black Thang," for instance. It's true for whites, far-east Asians, Jews, boy scouts, politicians, and The Destee.com Family just the same. I wish for a more rigorous, honest, careful approach to the issue of our African Cultural Definitions. Otherwise, we run the risk of invalidating a very real, dynamic, and enlightening part of ourselves.

Thank you for the discussion, Sister.
 

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