Black Women : Black women and white women

Discussion in 'Black Women - Mothers - Sisters - Daughters' started by NNQueen, Nov 26, 2003.

  1. NNQueen

    NNQueen going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    In a typical office somewhere in the USA there are some Black women and white women on the staff. Some are married and some are single. They tend to get along well, even to the point of sharing personal stories with each other and going out to lunch on occasion. Usually the stories they share aren't very personal and are just for conversation. Eventually, one of the white women who is single, feels comfortable enough to share that she likes Black men. The Black women in the group don't say anything to let her know how they feel about that, but when they are alone they talk among themselves about how much they dislike it.

    One day at work, a new single Black man joins the staff and before any of the single Black women can meet him, the single white woman seizes the opportunity to introduce herself and they quickly make friends. Sometime later, while at lunch with her Black women friends, she giggles and tells them about him and claims that she's going to marry him one day because he makes a lot of money and he's cute. Still the Black women don't complain to her face, but do so vigorously behind her back.

    Soon, it's obvious that the Black man and white woman are a couple. The Black women practically receive daily reports about their dates. She tells them that he's even gotten close to her young son from a previous marriage to a white guy. One day the white woman tells the Black women that now she sees what all the talk was about Black men's sexual abilities...and spreads her hands far apart as she's telling them how good he is in bed. One of the Black women, giggles, elbows one of her sisters, and says, "yeah, we know...hehehe!"

    Do you see anything wrong with this picture?
     
  2. Aqil

    Aqil Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Yes I do, NNQueen...the picture is wrong because its expressions are negative...it contains racial undertones that suggest - however subtly - that "white is right." Reminds me of the old "King Kong" movie...

    Bottom line re: the first paragraph: Never share personal stories with whites...period.
    Bottom line re: the second paragraph: The onus is on the sorry brother here. He succumbed to the advances of the white woman, and made her his choice instead of a sister there...
    Bottom line re: the third paragraph: Ignorance is nondiscriminatory...all that begins wrong ends wrong...
     
  3. Deepa

    Deepa Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Unhealthy sharing phenomenon, especially among black women, has spread rampantly.

    We've been encouraged to gauge our reactions to situations in order to align ourselves with the "masters" and their benefactors. Hence, you have black women who will display acceptance of the white woman's commentary on black men, then scutter away to secretly share a disdain for the same white woman they just appeared to embrace.

    Acts like this serve to allow a further weakening in the integrity of the foundation of our very being.

    In other words, if ya sit there and take it, they gonna give ya more until there is nothing left, and if ya give it away they gonna use it to take more away from ya. :driveby:

    CLOSE YA MOUF! :eek: :yawn:
     
  4. sadie's brown

    sadie's brown Active Member MEMBER

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    Why are the black female co-workers upset

    I'm confused as to why the black female co-workers are upset. Are they offended because the they feel or perceive that the white female's comments are racist? If not would take care if she discussed her sexual "conquest" with a white man? Has this white lady chosen to single out these black females for friendships...in otherwords...what's her history with her felow white feamles con-worekrs? Finally, I believe that if the black ladies feel her comments are racist than they should simply disgust the matter with her privately. Also how many of the black women in question would make a move for a nice, attractive, white male started tomorrow? I am sorry black women shouldn't give over their power to black men and white women.!
    Peace
     
  5. sha-mecca allah

    sha-mecca allah Member MEMBER

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    :teach:

    tell it, bro Aqil, tell it.
     
  6. vj57

    vj57 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I could care less about white women going for black men. This is something that never bothered me at all because not ALL black men want white women. People get upset over something as trivial as this when the majority of people are involved with their own race.

    I say this because I'm a Christian woman and have been taught to love ALL people.

    Another thing is I value my privacy on the job. My personal life is MINE. And I have a strong personal policy which dictates no office romances. I have no desire to get involved with a man on my job and never have.

    I've told some white women that they are "silly", especially when they have asked me IF it is true (you know, about a black man's prowess in bed). I tell them that I have not bedded ALL black men to know and I sure don't ask them about a white man's prowess in bed.

    I'm for the truth and not myths. There's more to a man for me than the size of his penis. I tell white women that "men are men regardless of their skin color".

    I've had positive collaborations with white women. I can say that one or two of them I'm close to, but I don't share personal details.

    There are interracial couples on my job, mainly black women with white men. That's their choice and I would not dare say that a white man would be avoided by me. If I met him at my church, that's a different story, but I do not wish to have a on the job romance. A different story if my husband becomes employed at the same place I work.

    By the way, the brother is a FREE man and has the right to be with whomever he wishes. How DARE we get upset because he chooses a white woman!

    And one thing I've learned...never share your personal details with black, white, asian, or hispanic women. Black women are just as much as negative gossipers as any. I choose to go to work and give the employer the required hours...anything other than that belongs to me.

    To quote Tom Joyner, "What happens on the ship, stays on the ship"
     
  7. angelicsage

    angelicsage Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I find this subject so exhausting…and have mixed feelings…
    My heart/soul struggles constantly with my logic, education and religion.
    I often wonder how you get to the point where you no longer care that black men pursue white women because no matter how educated or enlightened I become…when I see black men with white women…there is a part of me that dies repeatedly…(just being honest)…


    But then I attempt to console and convince myself that we are all of one race “the human race”…but I know I’m attempting to heal an un-healable wound. I do feel somewhat responsible as a black woman for this dilemma. I have two brothers, who in their youth were overtly chased by white females… “oh, the shenanigans they would pull” anyway, my brothers were interested and dated a couple of them but I gently and lovingly took time to communicate to them the following:

    1) How painful it was for our mother although she never said a word.
    2) The importance of family harmony and how this could be jeopardized by the introduction of such extreme cultural differences.
    3) I asked them why they seem to find white women more enticing than black women…which often lead to materialistic reasons.
    4) I educated them specifically on the importance of the black union and how black men and women need each other
    5) I also discussed with them repeatedly how insulting it was to all of the black women in our family and how although they smiled in their faces…. There were always candid remarks of pain & concern, said later.
    6) I wanted to know why they didn’t find… the one creature that birthed and nurtured them beautiful…they said dating white women was primarily materialistic initially but emotions became involved….which is how I think a lot of men are lured into these relationships.
    7) I personally have been pursued a great deal by white men and have many of them in my family…however, I made a conscious decision to love a black man and to work to heal the black family circle…I love myself and my reflection…(the black man) I do not regret my choice. I love what is natural for me to love.
    8) I took time to educate my brothers on Black History…which is something they weren’t getting in school…I am happy to say…they are both now married to beautiful, educated, successful, compassionate, loving black women, with beautiful black children…I’ve never seen them happier…and our family has never been stronger.

    With that said…I have also experienced situations in the workplace “where the handsome, successful, educated black male arrives” and suddenly there’s an “Estrogen Explosion” that supercedes even racial boundaries. I always make it a personal goal to build alliances and open the lines of communication with any new brother or sister in the work place and do not allow division in any form to rear it’s ugly head. We as black women and men need each other. I strongly believe that if the lines of communication are open…there is understanding…which leaves no room for ambiguity…thus building strong friendships & relationships between us.
     
  8. 1ascension

    1ascension Member MEMBER

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    In my opinion....

    All she is really saying is that we sistahs have so much pride that we sit with our mouths closed to save face. I think she is saying "SPEAK UP" and let it be known that we are not ok with this. The white woman is very aggressive, but we as black women were taught as slaves to be quite and unseen. I tell my brothas everyday that it is not ok with me to see them turning their backs on us. I tell them that if they take one month to pick up every book they can to learn about the affects of slavery on OUR relationships that they might just stand up and take notice. Yes the get mad and tell me to shut up but still atleast I spoke up about it.
     
  9. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Hmmmm Queenie ... i've read this and re-read it ... read the responses ... and am still as lost as the first time i read it.

    I can't imagine such a thing happening to me. While i'm sure it probably happens to some Sisters, the way i figure it is, they allow it ... so who am i to tell them what they should be willing to tolerate.

    I have worked in corporate america, state government, private owned businesses ... and as i think back over those years ... i can only remember two White women that i ever went to lunch with (in a personal, relaxed, by choice atmosphere). Both times before i was 21 years old. Both white females and i, were what i'd consider friends, which is why we went out together ... but neither ever talked to me about Black men. I always imagined that they wanted to be with a Black man (being so comfortable with a Black woman), but it never came up.

    Ater 21 years of age, my employment was in the deep south and in spite of what we hear, things are quite segregated there. I ate lunch with Sisters, did everything with Sisters ... especially because of the racist discriminatory air that was so thick you could cut it with a knife, i never got too close to any of them (or let them get close to me).

    No Sister ... i can't imagine this ... but if these Sisters allow such "carrying on" ... i aint mad at 'em ... i know i'd not be able to handle it. Not that i'd have a problem with any Brother choosing for himself whomever he pleases ... but she could not ... would not ... come up to me talking this foolishness just on GP ... nawww ... it aint happening.

    But then ... i don't know ... guess one must live a little longer to see just what they will "tolerate" and what they won't.

    When i was in the south, there was this gay White male that i worked with ... and he was so krazee ... oh my gosh ... he would come to work and talk about his new "husbands" everyday ... i was amazed to even be listening to a homosexual so willing to share his lifestyle, cause i never knew anyone that lived this way and found it all quite astonishing (he had 6 children and a wife) ... my silly self would even ask questions and stuff ... anywho ... i asked him one time if he had ever been with a Black man and he said ... "No Girl, Chocolate Breaks Me Out!" ... :lol:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  10. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Oh yeah ... sorry for overlooking this part ...

    :wave: Welcome Sister 1ascension :wave:

    Thanks for joining us and sharing your views.

    Please make yourself at home ... because you are.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
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