Black Men & Their Children

My ex-husband sees our son every week, for 2,3 days at a time. He tells me that when he has our son, he takes him evreywhere with him, and people are surprised to see that. He gets comments like, "oh, you're a good man" "you seem to really love your son" and my personal favorite "Wow! She let you have him?" LOL. It's very common around here to see fathers and sons at the barbershop together, fathers and daughters at the movies together.

This is great Toylin! SMH at your other statement!
 
panafrica said:
This is an ignorant attitude; however, it is one I've heard before. This is also something that women need to be aware of before you have children with a man (particularly if you aren't married). I think if a man is not mature enough to love all his children (female & male)...he is not mature enough to have children at all. That being the case...ladies if you aren't on the pill...get on it, and make him use a condom!


Amen to that brotha, I thought that this was a no brainer in terms of having childen! Sistahs, don't have a child with a man unless you know a man for at least 2 years, and never do it unless you're married.
 
Sistahs, don't have a child with a man unless you know a man for at least 2 years, and never do it unless you're married.

Amen to this brother Sekhemu! It scares me how casually people have children today, with people they hardly know. Then these same people get upset that the man/woman they didn't know turns out to be a bad parents. Ladies if a man is not worthy to be your husband...if he doesn't think enough of you to make you his wife...how can you consider having a child with him? A child is the greatest commitment two people can make. A marriage can be annulled or ended with a divorce. However a child links two people together for life! Most people today avoid marriage because they fear the "responsibility" it requires, yet these same people have children with men/women they barely know! This is backwards reasoning!!

Indeed there are married couples who wait several years before having children, because they aren't sure if they are ready for "such a responsibility". Although marriages do fail, they imply a certain amount of committment to a person. Only the highest level of committment should give a person the sense of security that their partner is worthy of having a child with. The sense of security that a child with be raised in an environment, which is beneficial for their upbringing. Having a child with a person without this level of committment (marriage) is extremely risky. Although currently most of the children in our community are born without the benefit of marriage...without the benefit of committment...this is not the natural order of our community (and it is contrary to our original cultural). I don't think our prosperity will change, until our families are restored to their natural order. That won't happen until we as a people change our habits.
 
Sistahs, don't have a child with a man unless you know a man for at least 2 years, and never do it unless you're married.
I knew him longer than two years..before I was pregnant and THANK GOD we didn't get married as planned, if he would have turned out the same as he did I would have been miserable.

People change regardless of how long you know them...not all but many do.
 

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