Black MEN - BROTHERS - Warriors

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by OmowaleX, Jan 11, 2007.

  1. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    What is the specific purpose of these threads? Is it to build BROTHERHOOD? I ask this because in review of the numerous topics in this section there seem to be a number of topics which should actually be in the RELATIONSHIP section. And it also seems as if there are a hnadful of women who continually post in this section to SQUASH dialogue between BROTHERS. Even to the topic of openly stating they dont care or dont want to hear certain perspectives coming from BROTHERS. Whats the deal?
     
  2. OmowaleX

    OmowaleX Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Where are the WARRIORS at?
     
  3. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Omowale ... the specific purpose of this forum, is the same for this entire community, a place where we can all commune together, peacefully and respectfully. Regarding this forum specifically ... for me ... it's been a wonderful peek into the minds and Spirits of my Brothers. I have felt so very honored that Brothers would come here, convene and share together, leaving a written map for those present, as well as those yet to come. A map that can be continually added to, revised, improved upon as each adds their say. Yes, it's an honor for me. A wonderful opportunity to dialogue with Brothers! Please. That's a very wonderful thing! To ask you all questions, and receive answers in a way that i've never been able to do before ... not with so many wonderful responses provided, from Brothers all around the world. That's what it is for me, and it's my hope that it is as wonderful for everyone else.

    Of course it will vary, being one thing to some, and another thing to others. With so many different personalities, opinions, Spirits, so much diversity within us ... all flowing freely, fluctuating often ... we're liable to be something different at any given moment. Ask me this again when i'm fussing at someone ... :wink:

    The Sisters and Brothers Forums were never intended to keep Sisters or Brothers from posting in / to each others forum. We are free to communicate freely throughout this community. If a Member can see a thread, read it, then they are welcome to respond. It's always been this way. I know it's a challenge sometimes, and would probably be easier if we designated folk to their respective areas ... but ... nobody said it would be easy, and it's absolutely necessary (that we communicate). I consider it a blessing, the coming together of Sisters and Brothers in this community, in every forum. We're gonna just hafta put up with each other, love each other, work it out, resolve it, so we can move on to the next level. As soon as each of us knows to do better, and begins manifesting that, the challenges will be less. I'm confident we'll get there. :)

    Yeah ... there probably are some relationship threads, and maybe even others, that belong in different forums. That's my fault. I be think'n i'm gonna get around to doing every thing that needs doing ... like moving threads that aint in the rite place ... and i am ... i gotta ... i will ... i promise ... :look:

    Brother O ... now you know if you have a complaint against a Member, just post it in the Violations Forum. You gotta name names, and point directly to the violations or disruptive stuff you think is going on. I can't really address your complaints, or give those accused the opportunity to defend themselves, unless you do that.

    I want this forum, this community, to be all that our Creator and Ancestors would have it be.

    I was finna ask what is this forum to you ... :eeek: ... but i think you told me ... :love:

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  4. kemetkind

    kemetkind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    To be honest brother O lately I'm feeling a bit of survivor's guilt.

    I've seen brothers systematically get bounced up out of here, and it seems it's only those of us who show extreme UNWAVERING deference that aren't ushered out.

    Even though we have a thread about the high percentages of black males in prison, I'm wondering whether this forum itself is a reflection of the U.S. justice system.

    Sometimes I come and just read through old threads, and I'm seeing so much wisdom coming from so many brothers who have banned next to their names.

    It makes me sad at times, angry at others.

    I don't think brothers here act any more or less in control than sisters but for whatever reason we are banned in dispoportionate numbers...dealt with not much different here than we are dealt with by the gubment.

    The ironic thing is if you go look at the list of premium members you find its disporportionately BROTHERS who are contributing their dollars to support the site.

    That's what I mean about this survivor's guilt... Am I willing to sell out my own voice to keep from joining the ranks of contributing brothers who were bounced out of here?

    Or do I stand up to the constant attacks on black men coming from the resident haters....

    Honestly I'm real close to concluding it's not worth it.

    A brother will defend and protect what he considers his own but once you shift your categorization of a place from home to something else then you're prone to just sit back and let it be.
     
  5. Omowale Jabali

    Omowale Jabali The Cosmic Journeyman PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Brother Kemetkind,

    This is why despite problems we have had in the past there are some things we need to keep in FOCUS.

    http://destee.com/forums/showpost.php?p=379351&postcount=5

    Peace..

    I was reading an article in the Dallas Morning News today which stated that graduation rates for Black students in DISD were about 80% to 81.5% for whites. This is closer than I thought which means there is some hope out there. Even if test scores are much lower on the TAKS. We know the flaw there is in the system and Black kids here are getting through somehow. I think its time for me to get back out there and get active with these youth. Otherwise I may lose my mind!
     
  6. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Brother Kemetkind ... of course i can't just ignore what you're saying. I'm not sure how to address it though, as i don't see things quite the same as you, but i'd like to ... so please, continue sharing with me on this.

    It's some kind of challenge, dealing with Black Folk period, let alone Sisters and Brothers at the very same time, living in the very same space. I've often said, we are not an easy people. We've been conditioned to attack each other, become defensive, feel violated easily, all that kind of stuff. It's been some long and tiring years, but i'm dedicated to it, because i believe it's necessary.

    Yes, Brothers are more likely to get banned than Sisters. I started a thread in 2004, asking the Brothers ... Why Do Brothers Break The Rules Here? ... even then, i couldn't really understand it. It's always broken my heart, to ban anyone ... but especially Brothers. But you're right, that happens, way too often than i'd like ... but what am i to do? They want to fight each other, disrespect each other, disrupt everyone's opportunity to peaceful and respectful interactions ... some have gone as far as to call for a meeting away from the Internet, so they can fight each other!

    In addition ... unfortunately ... i've seen some small bits of sexist commentary and behavior, when it comes to taking direction and guidance from me, a woman. I'm not real sensitive to this, i don't really care, i think probably because when i first saw what looked like that ... i was well beyond the majority of my emotional rants. I was able to remain objective and focused. You know what, one time, when i was fussing at a Brother for breaking our rules ... he told me you sure sound sexy when you talk like this ... i was like ... what ... excuse me?! I've even had Brothers tell me that they find it very difficult, almost impossible, to do what a woman says. While there's not been a lot of this, i've certainly seen it, and am lamenting the prospect that there may be more.

    Brother Kemetkind, of course you've never demonstrated any such behavior, just talking in general now.

    You know what else? We've been here so long, that i have had Sisters say to me ... Destee, why you always favoring the Brothers?! ... and ... i've had Brothers say ... Destee, why you always favoring the Sisters?! I'm always amazed when this is presented to me, and i try to see how others may view my actions, and adjust if necessary ... but i'd like to think that i'm fair across the board. This community couldn't really be what it is, if the decisions were biased and unfair. Our people are just too sensitive to that, and you all are free to tell me when you think i'm wrong, and in most cases you do. It's rare that someone says, Destee you were wrong. Not after all the evidence has been presented and everything can be veiwed by everyone. For the times when i've been told (and shown) i was wrong, and it has happened on occasion ... :wink: ... i immediately humbled myself, apologized, and corrected the error, as best i could.

    That's all any site owner can do. While it may appear to be an easy task, balancing all things, it isn't. And again, even if it were easy, we'd make it more difficult ... 'cause we aint easy! :)

    Yes, Brothers have been wonderful in supporting the community, so too have Sisters over the years. Those who have ever helped in financially supporting the community are listed in this forum, and we can take a count, and see if there has been more Brothers than Sisters. I really don't know, but i'd not be surprised no matter the results, for i feel a relative balance there ... not a whole bunch of difference either way ... i don't imagine.

    I don't know if it's just simply the nature of Men, to fight, battle. I don't know, but it seems to be found more often in Brothers, than in Sisters. This based on my limited interaction over the years, here in the community, with thousands of us. We could be producing a wrong result, or not reflective of us as a whole. I don't know. All i know, is that i've witnessed this, time and time again.

    I suppose i could be biased, looking at all of this through a woman's eyes. But i am more than a woman. I am the daughter of a Black Man. The Mother of a Black Man. The Sister of Black Men. This isn't to suggest i know Black Men, but i do love them, and would hate to be found guilty of ever mistreating them ... them or Sisters ... for that matter.

    I think we've been kept away from each other so long, with minds and Spirits wounded, not able to communicate freely all of our years (our Ancestors), not perfecting those things that could be perfected as a result of longterm, peaceful and respectful communication ... we've been without it so long, that doing it is painful. But what are we to do, curl up in a ball and die ... or lead each other toward positive and peaceful solutions?

    Each of us have that question to answer for ourselves. We've been done so bad, it's almost easier just giving up on us. Go on with our lives and don't worry about the rest. Discount each other's opinion, never trying to reach a happy medium. It may be easier for you and i, but would it make it better for our children? Are we putting off on them, our responsibility?

    We gotta do it Brother Kemetkind ... don't we?

    The Brothers who have been banned from here, especially long time Members, were all warned over and over again. They were all given many opportunities to not fight here, to be respectful in the discussions. They just couldn't do it. I guess, with me being the one determining what is peaceful and respectful, some fault can be laid at my feet ... saying my standards are too high. So, do we lower the standards? Is that what you'd suggest?

    Please share with me.

    Much Love and Peace.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  7. kemetkind

    kemetkind Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I had me a lengthy and probing response to your post.

    Instead I'll elect to speak with my actions rather than words.

    Much Love and Peace sister Destee.
     
  8. Destee

    Destee destee.com STAFF

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    Awwww Brother Kemetkind ... i hate i won't get to read your words, but i'll be patient and just watch.

    Brother Kemetkind ... your post has prompted more questions from me, if you don't mind.

    Have you witnessed Brothers being unfairly banned in this community, or mistreated? If so, name them for me please.

    Regarding your "survival" here, i've never had to fuss at you about anything. Has it been difficult for you to pull that off? Has this been our experience because you're walking around on eggshells? Do you feel restricted here, as though you can't be yourself, or share your opinions freely?

    Please let me know. Maybe i am being unfair, harsh, and expecting too much. Help me see myself Brother Kemetkind.

    Thanks.

    :heart:

    Destee
     
  9. robboy2003

    robboy2003 Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Hi, Brother! What you state here has been played out so many times.

    Some people do treat the genders differently,that is a fact,and its been going on so long it's becoming almost second nature. What happens in alot of houses before the son becomes eighteen.

    It's find your purpose and get out! The daughter, "Oh stay as long as like precious." It happens. You are a man,so we are required to brush it off brother kemet and use your intellect decipher the solutions,if there are any,and take the lead!

    Peace, harmony and discernment Brotha!
     
  10. anAfrican

    anAfrican Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    "Brotherhood" requires "BrotherFriends"!

    yeah man; OUR Beautiful, Tolerant, ForeverForgiving QueenMotherSisters are "continually post[ing] in this section to SQUASH dialogue". yeah, right ... smh (Sister Amnat: "shaking my head")

    that's why they pose questions like: Brothers do you have good Brotherfriends whom build you up.. ...

    i wonder if there might be any correlation between the number/quality of the responses to that thread, and the "issues" that are "being raised" here? sometimes i've also gotta wonder if those "issues" are "issues" that are found while gazing in a mirror?

    how could anybody ever talk about any sort of "Unity" while continuing to internally exercise the rift in the Family that has been being externally exercised since long before we were ever "invited" to these shores?

    how could anybody ever talk about any sort of "Unity" when continuing to neglect the fact that all of these "questions" about "who we are" and "who we are not" and "i ain't no African" and "Africans be fightin and killin each other" stem from the fact that the division of Africans stems from our having been invaded for a very very long time!

    can it not be seen that this "issue" might very well stem from the fact that we can't/won't actually "scratch the itch" that really bugs us: it ain't OurSelf that we should be taking this mess out on, but that external exercising of the rift of the African Family!

    Might the "Black MEN - BROTHERS -Warriors" consider giving these thoughts some consideration as to being possible factors in the "question of Brotherhood"? or the lack thereof?
     
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