Black Relationships : Black Male Shortage - Myth or Reality?


Well-Known Member
Jan 22, 2004
I agree stepup that there are alot of black men out there that may not be ideal for marriage for different reasons. There are also tons of black women that are not ideal for marriage too. Alot of these women complaining are just that...not ideal for marriage. I also know that there are alot of brothas going virtually unseen to the black female eye because they don't look or act "black" enough. Alot of times these brothas turn to other races because it's either that or stay home waiting for a black woman to appreciate them. And I don't blame them. I think women have this idea that they know and dictate what a "good man" is. The reality is they don't. Like Toylin said, so many women judge a book by the cover and never take time to look inside and see what it's really about. Then they complain when they keep getting dogged by these guys that they thought were good men. We brothas do have to do a better job, but there are good men out there.


Well-Known Member
May 17, 2004
Security Guard
And I asked this question once, and I'm going to ask it again: How many of y'all good men live in Michigan? Or close enough to drive to Michigan? LOL.... just kidding, y'all. Now, I'm not trying to lay ALL the blame on my sisters; some of the brothers need to step up and be men, instead of overgrown teenagers. (No offense to those who ARE still teenagers, mind you.) I'm tired of meeting 30 year old men who act like 17 year old boys. I also think that one of the biggest obstacles in male/female relationships amongst Black people is money...... We Black women, for the most part, have heard a double message all our lives... On one hand, we're supposed to wait for that "good" man who will take care of us and our childern and never leave our sides. But then we hear who we can "do bad" all by ourselves, and that we should be strong, independent, Black warriors and not depend on "some man" for anything.


Active Member
Jul 8, 2004
I understand your pain. I was talking to a sister about this very same subject this past week. It is very difficult in these times for us (male/female) to get and maintain a strong bond. We are so into clothes, movies, television, and sex to be bothered with what life is really about.

As for going to the other side as a way out I am very much not for that. We tend to use that card as a last alternative when there are other options for us. Polygamy (as I stated in another thread) would help this problem. Yet, the mindset of us today does not allow for such an option.

To my Queens looking for their Kings stay strong and never give up!


Well-Known Member
May 23, 2001
It is very difficult in these times for us (male/female) to get and maintain a strong bond. We are so into clothes, movies, television, and sex to be bothered with what life is really about.

This is so true. Very rarely, do two individuals meet on this level of life, thus we have so many games that are being played. I guess it would be nice to have 3 or 4 husbands. That would relieve a lot of a sistah's stress...big time as long as her husbands are mature, loving and understanding of her needs as a woman.

Now if I could just get my husband to...oh well...he would never accept that. I don't know why. After all, it would be a beautiful setup. I would have 3 breadwinners instead of one. WoW! Three friends instead of just one.
Three fathers instead of just one. If one can't play baseball with his son, surely I could get one of my other husbands to fill in for him sometimes.

But then as you these times it is very difficult to get and maintain a strong bond. I guess if it's hard to do that with one person, I will never convince my husband that it can be done with 3...shucks! :wink:


Active Member
Jul 8, 2004
Joyce, I do hope you were just joking around with the 3-husband comment.

I do not think that would assist in putting the black family together as that would take two other brothers (I assume they are good brothers if they are with you :D) away from the MANY sisters that have no good man.
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