Black Fear

Discussion in 'Black Men - Fathers - Brothers - Sons' started by twashing, Aug 3, 2005.

  1. twashing

    twashing Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    How do you guys deal with Black fear? What I mean is, your sitting at a bar, restaurant, etc., and people avoid eye contact with you; the waitress avoids you. Even the most basic interactions come with apprehension. I remember I was at a fundraising function and a friend's girlfriend started to tighten up when I came over to say hello!! You can intellectualize it away if you want. But after a while, you do have to live in that dydsfunctional world.

    I need to know how other people handle this, because I'm wanting to not even interact with certain people anymore ;-).

    -- tim
     
  2. kente417mojo

    kente417mojo Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I think you should only interact with people that YOU feel comfortable around. Obviously, the places and people that you've encountered aren't making you feel welcomed. Surround yourself with people of the same mindset as yourself. You don't need to modify your behavior and approach because of their fear and ignorance. I'm not even saying surround yourself with nothing but black folks, but if you have friends that are other races, make sure they are not the type that has opinions about you based soley on your skin color. If they do, free yourself of them. It's their bad, not yours.
     
  3. jamesfrmphilly

    jamesfrmphilly going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    sounds like you are in the wrong places and with the wrong people.
    change that.
     
  4. twashing

    twashing Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I hear you guys. Jimmy, your book "Middle of Nowhere" sounds pretty interesting. I just finished rereading "Invisible Man" and so much of what Ralph Ellison puts into that book matches my experiences and feelings. It actually inspired me to write about some of the culture conflicts that I've face between Jamaican and Canadian societies.

    Thanks for the words y'all. Peace.

    -- tim
     
  5. panafrica

    panafrica Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    You aren't describing "black fear", you are experiencing white racism! It amazes me that there are black people in this world, who continue to be surprised that racism/prejudice continues to be a mainstay in white countries (as if societies built & maintained by racism, suddenly and magically stopped being racist overnight). I have always stated that I'm never surprised to see a white racist, I'm only surprised when I find a white person who isn't racist....but I digress! Twashing, the best way to handle racism is not to socialize in a racist environment. Why hang out in places where you aren't welcome or made to feel unwanted. Brothers JamesfrmPhilly and Kente417Mojo gave you excellent advise. You need to change your environment and who you socialize with. Racism is harder to manage in a work setting (forming your own company is the best solution in this case); however, in a social setting it is easy to solve: Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated! If no such places exist where you are...then maybe you now have an excellent business idea!
     
  6. Monetary

    Monetary going above and beyond PREMIUM MEMBER

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    Yeah...what he said. :D
     
  7. Riada

    Riada Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I would suggest to continue going to those places, but take a friend or friends with you to have fun and for moral support and conduct yourself in the way your good home-training taught you to behave. You have as much right to be there as anyone else.

    I understand the philosophy of ‘go where you’re welcomed’ but when dealing with racism, I think we need to create and practice a more proactive philosophy instead of constantly reacting by self-isolating. Why do we keep expecting white people to act “normal” or to welcome us? A major part of effective racism these days is for whites to control nonwhites by treating us in an unwelcoming and unaccepting manner as well as in more harmful ways. They can’t put up the “No Coloreds Allowed” signs these days so they have other ways of reducing the number of Blacks in their midst, the very places that we’re being taxed to pay for. So many of the posts on the board deal with varying degrees of shock about how white people feel about us or what white people are doing or have done to us. Why are we perpetually in shock about the way white folks treat us????????? We just don’t seem to get much beyond that and we need to examine this.

    So many of us act like we’re so against white people, yet we do exactly what whites want us to do. For example, many of us don’t read, don’t like school (sometimes because white folks there “don’t like” us) or don’t study hard in school ‘cause that’s ‘acting white’ and that’s exactly what they want; we commit stupid crimes and that’s all they need to lock us up; we don’t save our money because we can’t wait to spend it in their stores; we constantly criticize and devalue each other and that’s what they want; we tend to attack and kill each other and that’s what they want; and on and on, but what tops all of this is that we fail to come up with a proactive philosophy, a set of ways or culture to thrive despite them and this failing is exactly what they want. This is because we spend too much energy being perpetually in shock about the fact that they don’t like us.

    I’ve always gone where I wanted to go if it was to my benefit because I don’t like them just as much as they don’t like me
     
  8. Sekhemu

    Sekhemu Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    THis is an awsome statement, and I agree with it 100%.

    Black folks sorry too much about being tolerated and accepted by white folks who don't like us.
     
  9. Deepvoice

    Deepvoice Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Its a hard knock life and that is what being black is all about if you ask me. Being black is about having to fight just to get the basic recognition(respect), being looked down on, and once you realize that everything is all good. I remember when me and my father was telling my mother that anywhere a black man lives there will be racism or some type of prejuidice. Thats the signature I guess we will behind when we are long and gone. It sounds bad don't it? One thing about people, all people, young or old, is that we have the ability to adapt.
     
  10. indya

    indya Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I've read through the posts here and I think some need to ask themselves what happens when a white person walks into a bar or restaurant filled with only black people. Many turn around and look at them with a "what are they doing here" kind of a look. This attitude isn't right coming from either group. I don't think we have the right to throw stones about white racism when we do the same thing.

    As far as what to do at the fundraising function, say hi, maybe the person hasn't had alot of exposure to black people and is reacting to what they see on TV. Hopefully the person will realize you are an individual and not make assumptions the next time a black person walks towards them.
     
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