Black Fear

[twashing]

How do you guys deal with Black fear? What I mean is, your sitting at a bar, restaurant, etc., and people avoid eye contact with you; the waitress avoids you. Even the most basic interactions come with apprehension. I remember I was at a fundraising function and a friend's girlfriend started to tighten up when I came over to say hello!! You can intellectualize it away if you want. But after a while, you do have to live in that dydsfunctional world.

I need to know how other people handle this, because I'm wanting to not even interact with certain people anymore ;-).

-- tim

 

[kente417mojo]

How do you guys deal with Black fear? What I mean is, your sitting at a bar, restaurant, etc., and people avoid eye contact with you; the waitress avoids you. Even the most basic interactions come with apprehension. I remember I was at a fundraising function and a friend's girlfriend started to tighten up when I came over to say hello!! You can intellectualize it away if you want. But after a while, you do have to live in that dydsfunctional world.

I need to know how other people handle this, because I'm wanting to not even interact with certain people anymore ;-).

-- tim

I think you should only interact with people that YOU feel comfortable around. Obviously, the places and people that you've encountered aren't making you feel welcomed. Surround yourself with people of the same mindset as yourself. You don't need to modify your behavior and approach because of their fear and ignorance. I'm not even saying surround yourself with nothing but black folks, but if you have friends that are other races, make sure they are not the type that has opinions about you based soley on your skin color. If they do, free yourself of them. It's their bad, not yours.

 

[jamesfrmphilly]

How do you guys deal with Black fear? What I mean is, your sitting at a bar, restaurant, etc., and people avoid eye contact with you; the waitress avoids you. Even the most basic interactions come with apprehension. I remember I was at a fund raising function and a friend's girlfriend started to tighten up when I came over to say hello!! You can intellectualize it away if you want. But after a while, you do have to live in that dysfunctional world.

I need to know how other people handle this, because I'm wanting to not even interact with certain people anymore ;-).

-- tim

sounds like you are in the wrong places and with the wrong people.
change that.

 

[twashing]

I hear you guys. Jimmy, your book "Middle of Nowhere" sounds pretty interesting. I just finished rereading "Invisible Man" and so much of what Ralph Ellison puts into that book matches my experiences and feelings. It actually inspired me to write about some of the culture conflicts that I've face between Jamaican and Canadian societies.

Thanks for the words y'all. Peace.

-- tim

 

[panafrica]

How do you guys deal with Black fear? What I mean is, your sitting at a bar, restaurant, etc., and people avoid eye contact with you; the waitress avoids you. Even the most basic interactions come with apprehension. I remember I was at a fundraising function and a friend's girlfriend started to tighten up when I came over to say hello!! You can intellectualize it away if you want. But after a while, you do have to live in that dydsfunctional world. I need to know how other people handle this, because I'm wanting to not even interact with certain people anymore

You aren't describing "black fear", you are experiencing white racism! It amazes me that there are black people in this world, who continue to be surprised that racism/prejudice continues to be a mainstay in white countries (as if societies built & maintained by racism, suddenly and magically stopped being racist overnight). I have always stated that I'm never surprised to see a white racist, I'm only surprised when I find a white person who isn't racist....but I digress! Twashing, the best way to handle racism is not to socialize in a racist environment. Why hang out in places where you aren't welcome or made to feel unwanted. Brothers JamesfrmPhilly and Kente417Mojo gave you excellent advise. You need to change your environment and who you socialize with. Racism is harder to manage in a work setting (forming your own company is the best solution in this case); however, in a social setting it is easy to solve: Go where you are celebrated, not tolerated! If no such places exist where you are...then maybe you now have an excellent business idea!