Black Parenting : Black Fathers and there son/s

Discussion in 'Black Parenting' started by $$RICH$$, Mar 5, 2010.

  1. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    It's no mystery about parenting and the bond of mothers with there children
    male and female alike even you see the strongest of women who have to do
    it alone as a single parent and dealing with young males and teaching them.
    But what about Fathers who do play a role in the lives of there children
    mainly the males as a parent of boys myself and how close i am in there lives
    and even my laws of tough love and restriction can it be an break down of
    bonding and do males shy away from fathers more so then they do with mothers,
    I was once told they hold a higher respect out of fear when it comes to dealing with
    dads then moms because dads more foceful when mom would break down
    drop her guards,
    I know for a fact that's not true Mothers are as foceful and strong as dads
    So my question is how close are fathers to there sons in the house as well
    the community ?:10500:
     
  2. Corvo

    Corvo navigator of live MEMBER

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    I'm not sure, I did not grow up with my pops.

    I have three kids, two girls and one boy.

    I love them all the same. But recently my son has been giving me more attention. I am very warm with my children. no different with my son, though I am probably more demanding of him. My kids do fear my wrath, but I make up for it with lots of hugs and playing/joking around.

    I think since my son and I are out numbered, he is coming to me more for support. He is only eight, but we are building a new bond now!

    AXE!
     
  3. Black Squared

    Black Squared Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Not as close as they need to be if they are even in the house at all.
     
  4. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Building that kind of sound foundation is key and just the same with our daughters thank you brother Corvo
     
  5. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    This is true , there are lots of Fathers who work come home and that's it
    as well some dads who don't work and don't inner act with there children / sons
    daughter as well these can be some of the reasons of so much break down
    I try to make every day as if it's my last day to inner act with my children
    my boys i work with daily as well my grandson ...I take great pride in there lives
    teaching flexing and guiding to the best of my ability, i agree not enough as we should ....

    something we have drop and forgotten to pick back up !!

    thankz brother Black Squared
     
  6. Chevron Dove

    Chevron Dove Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    Oh. I could write a book on this one.

    I've seen how my father-in-law related to his sons. I've lived, seen, felt, heard...
    Then I've had the opportunity to see the next generation! I've lived, seen, felt heard...and am still doing so.
    One thing out of many that i see is that as a mother, I am apart of the equation in helping to define a man's role to his sons. In my opinion, it is crucial for a son to see how their father interacts with their mother. They learn their role and responsibilities when they see how their father deals with a woman. If a woman has a man, 'and I mean a real man--with the spirit of a man--she needs to be there for her sons. She needs to have a voice and be an active part--support system.

    I noticed that when boys get older they go through a change and they begin to regard their mothers in another way and begin to look up to their fathers. I highly respect my father-in-law because he sure was a man. But he was not there for his sons all of the time and he let it be known. By doing so, it helped his son to know that he had to do better. But again, as a woman, i knew that I had to be ever focused.

    As a Black woman, I always kept in mind that 'the culture issue' was a platform and this caused me to not lose hope in 'the Black man' role as a father. It's not our fault--what happened in early America--yet, we need to realize that it does play a factor in raising our sons and our daughers. I feel that men should not turn their backs on the mother and think everything is okay and, women should not turn their backs on the father and think everything is okay. Checks and balances. Have a voice. Don't be so quick to run to the white man's courts. Save the money for the children if at all possible. I had to wrestle...I made my confrontations to my mother-in-law and father-in-law and etc. In my opinion, the odds are heavily against the Black man for staying with their Black women and children. It seems like they get more praise for being absent and running away.
     
  7. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    So true , I guess we have to build a strong foundation you make some great points here.
     
  8. NyneElementz

    NyneElementz Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    As males shying away from their fathers: only if their fathers were not active in their lives at any time during their childhood years and they absorbed so much hate of their father from others that they won't let their fathers backinto their lives. I was there for my son from the beginning. And when I visit his mother to allow her to spend time with him, her other children (who are not mine, by the way) flock to me, and that was strange to me at first. My son and I are extremely close, and I'm glad he lives with me, so that I can take on my role as steward and guide over him. And whether he likes my decisions for him at certain times or not, he respects my sense of resolve. When I say no, that's it. When I say yes, that's it. And if any of those answers have to change, I make sure he knows why. That's stuff a child wants to see, whether or not there are definite borders, andmany times, only fathers can provide those borders. Those borders, for a child, means the home environment is safe for them.
     
  9. Shikamaru

    Shikamaru Well-Known Member MEMBER

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    I am my father's son. He was not as close or interactive as I would have liked him to be, but he got the job done.
    He has had a tremendous impact on my life and I would not be who I am today if were not for his knowledge and wisdom.

    I got alot of whoopins when I was little (because I am extremely head strong).
    It did me good. I didn't appreciate it then, but I give thanks for it now.
    I owe him a great debt.
    My current success is all due to him. Although I have no children of my own, I want to be sure to pass on my father's teachings to a younger cousin, nephew, or whoever along with my own.
     
  10. $$RICH$$

    $$RICH$$ Lyon King Admin. STAFF

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    Thank you brothers for giving me the insight
    I have to say i'm close with my boys as well
    and some of the young boys in the community

    I wasn't close to my dad until in the late years but i can say he too
    got the job done and i respected highly
     
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